Males and Females

[Eligos]

Driving on a bad catalytic converter is like trying to eat breakfast for the 3rd time when you have the stomach flu.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

No, silly. I meant which Sappho poem.

"Although They Are..."

 

[damnromulans]

Happy Valentine's Gay

For menstruating females

 

[monoxide_child]

Wait... so you banged a girl who is trying to get pregnant without a condom!? I assume she's not on the pill. So it's totally possible you could have knocked her up. Pull-and-pray only gets you so far...

didn't do penis-in-vagina-sex, but thanks for the concern

have new girlfriend now
we've already done me fingering her and her giving me a handjob
will prolly do penis in vagina sex tonight

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

AIDS child

 

[monoxide_child]

the woman i had sex with has just recently gotten married
(less than a month ago)
we didn't use a condom because she hates condoms
(she actually told me that if she ever caught a guy wearing a condom, she'd "cut off his dick and shove it up his own ass")
she said the sex that we had needs to be just a one-night-stand
she doesn't want to have sex with me anymore because she wants her new husband to impregnate her
a married woman wanting to get pregnant should have her husband be the father of her kid, ofcourse, and she's thinking about maybe having sex with me again while she's bulky-pregnant

i had to spend all day talking to this^^^ woman

even though i never did penis-in-vagina-sex with her

even though she's claiming that she's already pregnant with her husband's kid

even though i already have a new girlfriend

and even though it's fucking valentine's day

i still had to spend all freaking day being her fucking marriage counselor

including talking to her on facebook right fucking now
and i'll have to talk to her face-2-face again as soon as this computer session is over

 

[Eligos]

So, funny story that has plenty in common with your adolescent woes, though I can't really top the megadouche husband thing, that is definitely some choice cut Jerry Springer shit.

My first girlfriend was bisexual. She thought she could give better head than just about anybody (she may have made an exception for Casanova or someone of that caliber). Long story short, she hated letting people go down on her. Spurned my advances and made a huge fuss every time I tried.

As a result, I didn't actually experience the joys of fellatio, at least from the dealing end, until I was past my teen years. But I picked it up quickly.

 

[SentinelSlain]

zingy dingy woos. I gots me some alcohol and that's all I need.

woo woo snuggles

I even had to buy it from a shop that I'm permabanned from. lol

 

[Serjeant Grumbles]

So, funny story that has plenty in common with your adolescent woes, though I can't really top the megadouche husband thing, that is definitely some choice cut Jerry Springer shit.

My first girlfriend was bisexual. She thought she could give better head than just about anybody (she may have made an exception for Casanova or someone of that caliber). Long story short, she hated letting people go down on her. Spurned my advances and made a huge fuss every time I tried.

As a result, I didn't actually experience the joys of fellatio, at least from the dealing end, until I was past my teen years. But I picked it up quickly.

Um, I don't think you wanted to use the word fellatio; it doesn't mean what you think it means.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I really need to find a white atheist girl who's cute and will let me buttfuck her.

 

[Vimana]

Stop.

 

[SentinelSlain]

no. The question for whild anal poon is one that never xeases.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Finding them is not hard at all. What you really need to find is the skill to net the beast in.

 

[Funerary_Doom]

Don't know you guys very well, so have been trying to avoid these parts of the forum but fuck it.

I may be the only person completely grossed out by anal sex. :/

Should I be mad if my boyfriend forgets V-Day for the 5th year in a row? Ha.

2 coworkers asked me out, obviously declined but was kinda thinking evilly for a second.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

^ Perfect example of a person with no skills.

 

[Funerary_Doom]

Call it whatever you want, man. Don't see much positive points in anal. The thought of it reminds me of a toilette... yes it gets "cleaned" but it's still used a toilette if you get my drift. Gross.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

If your BF wanted anal would you do it?

 

[Funerary_Doom]

Nah.

There's no point. And I'm not sure of the exact method but i doubt you can just do it. You'd have to train and all that drama. :/

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

You now know why he forgot Valentine's Day.

 

[Funerary_Doom]

-____-

Meh.