Males and Females

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Remember fellas, Women don't want to win, they want a winner.

 

[monoxide_child]

I wish I could find some hookers. Sadly, all there is here are AIDS-ridden/preggo/baby mamas.

I can't deny it'd tide me over though.

My hands are raw at this point, boys. :V

I fap far too often for my own good. No sex for 4 years does bad things to a man.

just noticed you're location says you're in Canada
come down to the United States of America for a month
there's hookers EVERYWHERE down here

 

[Zephyrus]

The Canadian government already provides free hookers.


Wait, that was healthcare. How dystopian.

 

[monoxide_child]

hey Zeph
were you the one that said you hated The Kite Runner??

 

[Zephyrus]

Yes. I had to read it in high school for "summer reading," and hated every word.

 

[monoxide_child]

sorry
the reading thread wasn't close to the top today
and aparently i was too lazy to scroll down

i'm going to hell for sloth

 

[monoxide_child]

Yes. I had to read it in high school for "summer reading," and hated every word.

what's it about??
what exactly didn't you like about it??

 

[The Butt]

I've never read The Kite Runner. Should I be happy for the fact?

 

[Mort Divine]

Extreme masturbation has rendered my urethral opening flabby and loose, and urination always begins with two separate streams, yet I am still able to scratch the itch. There is no such thing as doing it too much.

 

[damnromulans]

Extreme masturbation has rendered my urethral opening flabby and loose, and urination always begins with two separate streams, yet I am still able to scratch the itch. There is no such thing as doing it too much.

This is the most horrible thing I have ever read

However regularly banging PP has made my labia danglier

 

[monoxide_child]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ya67aLaaCc

i have no headphones right now and amazingly enough, this video actually completely makes sense without any sound

However regularly banging PP has made my labia danglier

there is a cosmetic surgery to correct this specific problem
it's called "labiaplasty"

 

[SentinelSlain]

Let's get it all out into fire.

Fucking hot shoes:

Hot socks

hot pants: (not hot pants)

 

[Satanstoenail]

Jesus Christ this fucking thread

 

[damnromulans]

Yesterday I told some annoying guy who was trying to hit on me by asking for a drag off my ecig that I had herpes and then walked away. He didn't seem to get the hint. Is that not subtle enough? I have all but forgotten how nightlife mating rituals work.

 

[SentinelSlain]

You should have just held your mouth open in terror until he went away.

 

[monoxide_child]

Yesterday I told some annoying guy who was trying to hit on me by asking for a drag off my ecig that I had herpes and then walked away. He didn't seem to get the hint. Is that not subtle enough? I have all but forgotten how nightlife mating rituals work.

if you tell a guy that you have an std, some guys just think that you're "warning them" about you're std, which you wouldn't need to if you weren't planing on having sex with them

seriously
if some guy is hitting on you, you really just need to actually say the words "i'm not going to have sex with you"

 

[monoxide_child]

[/IMG]

the right side of this picture made my dick hard

 

[Vimana]

Yesterday I told some annoying guy who was trying to hit on me by asking for a drag off my ecig that I had herpes and then walked away. He didn't seem to get the hint. Is that not subtle enough? I have all but forgotten how nightlife mating rituals work.

Fake a phone call.

 

[monoxide_child]

so
i'm dating a girl for three weeks (including Valentine's Day)
she's ramming her tongue down my throat every five min and i've fingerbanged her and she's given me a hand job
everything looks fine, until a couple of days ago when her psych doctor tells her to not date anyone for 60 days
so now she's not dating me cuz she's not dating anyone at all
which would be okay, except that she has a source of income and i lost the person i was was gonna split rent with
so then this morning, (at church) a woman with a disability check who is a complete lesbian wants to move in with me,
also, at the same time my girl randomly out of nowhere breaks up with me, the blue-haired-boy's wife leaves him, for me aparently
i'm thinking about spliting rent with the lesbian because the blue-haired-boy's wife has no money (husband doesn't have any money either)

since me and the lesbian both get paid the same day
i'm seriously thinking about spliting rent with the the woman that's completely totally lesbian and then dating a married woman with absolutely no money just to get my dick wet

what do you guys think??

 

[monoxide_child]

http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/10560305-post882.html