I officially believe you're completely full of shit.
I would say "I'll show you" but I'm gonna have to take a raincheck on chilling with her for awhile. I think I have either strep or mono setting in. Feel like I got the shit kicked outta me today, especially my throat.
Edit: Also after a shower I can now say my pecker is tender. When I'm feeling good enough to leave the house, to the sex clinic I go!