Males and Females

[The Ozzman]

Relevant for this thread?

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/why-men-arent-really-men-anymore/

There was once a time when men used to be real men. When they dressed with style, when they had a certain honor code they followed that involved treating not only their elders and each other with respect, but women alike. Unfortunately, those days are far- gone — a thing of the past. What we have now is… to be quite honest, I’m not sure.

There are of course certain men out there who still have their affairs in order, but we are few in number. What people are most often subject to is the company of boys who are refusing to grow up and man up — boys who prefer to play with their toys than to do their part in bettering society, the human race and the world as a whole. These poor excuses for men have the bodies of adults and the mentalities, as well as the social outlook of toddlers. Horny toddlers, but toddlers nonetheless.

It’s all about character — or in this case, the lack of character. Something has been happening during this era dubbed the “information age.” Social media platforms have taken away the need to interact face to face, taking away the need for actual interaction. This is great in many regards: you can now keep in touch with friends and family all over the world from a handheld device.


However, much of the interpersonal confrontations are now also taking place online. People no longer feel that they have a need to meet in person to discuss their differences; they can now troll each other online. People are using the Internet as a shield, hiding behind IP addresses in order to speak their minds. The Internet acts like beer-muscles. It makes you believe that you are stronger than you actually are, making you more aggressive. There is nothing wrong with being aggressive when circumstances require it.

Personally, when my fight or flight response mechanism kicks in, I always go with fight. It’s not by choice; it’s just the way that I am wired. Online, people have no need to run away because they are already in hiding — so they always choose to “fight.” Although the fighting they do is just about as significant as the fighting I do when I play Call of Duty.

The same interaction from beneath cover can be seen when we look at the intercommunication between men and women. It is no secret that both men and women alike have sexual urges. Men, however, feel the need to get off more often than most women. So instead of having to spend the time to meet a real woman and have actual sexual intercourse, they watch porn.

Instead of going out into the real world and meeting women, they stalk women on Instagram. People now date online as well. It’s much easier to talk to a woman online than it is in person—or rather, it’s not that it’s easier. Both are just as easy, but for some reason, men now prefer to hide their faces behind their monitors. (Every time I use the term ‘men’ in such context I quiver) It’s out of fear and laziness. Men have become lazy pussies. I don’t even want to use the word pussy because it brings to mind women, who nowadays have much more character than men.


Generation-Y is the instant gratification generation. We want what we want right at the moment we figure out that we want it. We are willingly giving up one of the most important things in life: the waiting period. Having to wait and having to deal with our urges and wants without instantly having them satisfied is what builds character and is what we are now lacking in this fast-paced age.

If we want food, we order it online and have it delivered. If we want to listen to our favorite song, we find it on YouTube, iTunes or Spotify. If we want to watch a movie, we either buy it on demand or stream it online. If we want sex, we masturbate. If we want to have a good time, we do drugs. We have this false belief that doing things faster will give us a life more fulfilled — that it will lead to us being happier. But that isn’t the case. Most of us aren’t happier. We do more, but we experience less. We are never in the moment because we are always considering what we will be doing next in order to not become bored.

Character is most often built during those moments between activities, during moments of solitude and reflection. Men no longer feel the need to pause and reflect because the options for whatever it is they want are only a click away. The options are endless and therefore we never truly experience disappointment.

We never really feel that we are missing out on something because we no longer give things much importance. Jackie never got back to your text message? I’m sure you have several other women in your contacts that you’d equally like to f*ck — once. Then you’ll get bored and move on to the next one. Men treat women like interchangeable commodities. I do believe that most men still hope to one day fall in love and settle down. But none of them will unless they change their way of thinking and living.

Being focused on self-satisfaction will lead to nothing but broken relationships. Real men are not selfish. Real men are just as concerned for the feelings, needs and minds of women as they are for their own — not just women’s bodies and their sexual usefulness. Real men have a well-defined code of ethics and respect that they follow.

How can anyone call himself a man if the last time he had to confront another man — whether it be over a social incident or for business purposes — was before he hit puberty? If you don’t have the twiddle-diddles to approach a woman at a bar in person and have a proper, intellectual conversation, making the woman feel respected and comfortable, then move over for the real men.


It’s awful because women are becoming accustomed to such boys and believing that these pansies are all that is left of our sex. Some great women are settling for these fools and then finding that they themselves have no choice but to wear the pants in the family because their “man” is PMSing. All I can hope for is that the law of evolution will see the world rid of these weaklings, these characterless, hopeless pseudo-men.

Ladies… real men do exist; there aren’t many of us, but we’re survivors and will be around for a while. Come find us.

 

[Draehl]

Generally a pretty fair assessment. I'm sure if there were more attractive women, men might be more inclined to pursue harder in all respects. Today's diet- be it instant gratification fast food, the decline in nutrients in vegetables due to overfarming, genetic modification, stress etc. have led to people, particularly women, putting on the added pounds. Then, when you do see a rare attractive lady its all too easy to assume she's taken/not interested, shrug it off and walk away.

 

[crimsonfloyd]

I think it's a straw man depiction of modern men from an author who sounds like he has a bone to pick.

Then there was this gem of pseudo-science:

It’s awful because women are becoming accustomed to such boys and believing that these pansies are all that is left of our sex. Some great women are settling for these fools and then finding that they themselves have no choice but to wear the pants in the family because their “man” is PMSing. All I can hope for is that the law of evolution will see the world rid of these weaklings, these characterless, hopeless pseudo-men.

If women are "settling for these fools" then their attitudes are an effective reproductive strategy and will be appropriated.

 

[Zephyrus]

Agreed. I get his point and sympathize to some degree with it, but he's channeling a sort of Nietzschean, misogynistic pining for a fixed male essence characteristic of a bygone era.

That the digital age is slowly dehumanizing us is certain, but we can't force ourselves to avoid it without reverting to values that subject one gender to another, as it was in every era of human civilization before the Internet.

 

[Dak]

I think that some truth gets lost in the longing for some sort of hyper-idyllic-masculine-archetype that never existed outside of Hollywood, in the John Waynes and the Clint Eastwoods of the 20th century.

The truth part is the decline of people who are willing to take personal responsibility; people who truly internalize the locus of control. People who "have their shit together", to use a colloquial phrase. That doesn't require one to tote around six-shooters, constantly have at least 5 days growth, and wear flannel at all times. The "sissy boys" of rather androgynous bearing and style rarely have "their shit together". Of course, neither do the "masculine" caricatures that dominate modern media and culture.

 

[MasterOLightning]

Ozzman's article strikes me as equal parts truth/strawman/get off my lawn.

I agree that there's something to the immaturity of many men nowadays. Do we know if this is a men's issue or a broad societal issue? Are economic circumstances the cause? Romantic relationships are changing for sure. Marriage is later in life on average; teen pregnancy is way down. I don't think it's right to attribute these changes to one gender.

The whole part about "men used to be this and that" is romanticizing heroes that rarely existed in the real world. And those that did fit that type were likely shit fathers and bad husbands.

The technology aspects ring particularly false, since women seem as least as involved with their phones and social media and whatnot as men are. I wouldn't strike against one side more than the other on this issue. In a sense, those words were very chauvinistic in that they expect men to rise up and do better in the information age while not addressing that issue as a shared one between men and women.

Also, women used to dress better too. They didn't wear sweat pants with words printed on their asses five decades ago. It runs both ways in regards to appearance. This is pure "get off my lawn" material when you get into wardrobe, because I really see no divide between the genders in terms of quality of dress. Each gender sets the expectations for the other, to a large degree. (In terms of heteros; not meaning to offend Mort by not including LGBTQXYZ in every discussion about everything ever.)

tl;dr: The internet has changed us all. It's not fair to pick on one gender or another, since the influence seems even across the board.

 

[Mort Divine]

There is no need to feel as if I'd be offended by this. It is fairly obvious that they're talking about the societal 'norm' which is cisgendered straight relationships and not LGBTQA+. They are the most prevalent afterall.

 

[KafkaX]

Gonna talk to my slampiece about commitment tonight. She's been giving me 10% for weeks now and it's time for her to either nut up or pack up. She's not acting like the inspiring person I met in March, and is not communicating with me at all, so I spend a decent hour or two of a given day completely unsure of where we stand.

We're both planning on going to this party our friend is throwing tonight, but if she decides to turn and run, I'll just stay home and write music.

Trying to sort out whether it's worth my time to stay committed to a slam piece that I only get to see or hear from once a week, if that.

Bummer dude. Sounds like a complete 180 since the last time I read about her.

Things with me and my lady are so fucking shakey its about the fall over any day now. That day is today. Im so fucking done with constantly fighting, miscommunicating, and just having a forceful uncomfortable relationship thats constantly falling apart and being put back together.

I really dont know why Ive kept this going as long as I have, but its time to let go of this relationship because it is not serving me really in any way.

 

[King Richard]

Stoya's face kills me.

I. Love. Stoya.

I want her to have my babies.

 

[Eligos]

Stuff

Yeah dude she is not acting like the person I grew infatuated with. I have all these memories of a selfless woman, full of energy, who was good at juggling all the goings on in her life, and find myself with a person who's married to her job, and has set our relationship on a back burner.

I know you two have been in disagreement for a while. If things aren't improving at all, pulling the plug might be the best idea. You two live together, right? How much longer do you have on your lease?

 

[damnromulans]

Cody, wishing you all the best. That's a really, really tough call to make.

 

[damnromulans]

I think that some truth gets lost in the longing for some sort of hyper-idyllic-masculine-archetype that never existed outside of Hollywood, in the John Waynes and the Clint Eastwoods of the 20th century.

The truth part is the decline of people who are willing to take personal responsibility; people who truly internalize the locus of control. People who "have their shit together", to use a colloquial phrase. That doesn't require one to tote around six-shooters, constantly have at least 5 days growth, and wear flannel at all times. The "sissy boys" of rather androgynous bearing and style rarely have "their shit together". Of course, neither do the "masculine" caricatures that dominate modern media and culture.

yeah.

CHAEL SONNEN, now there's a real man

 

[KafkaX]

Yeah dude she is not acting like the person I grew infatuated with. I have all these memories of a selfless woman, full of energy, who was good at juggling all the goings on in her life, and find myself with a person who's married to her job, and has set our relationship on a back burner.

I know you two have been in disagreement for a while. If things aren't improving at all, pulling the plug might be the best idea. You two live together, right? How much longer do you have on your lease?

Have you talked to her about this? Maybe there is something else going on that you dont know about that shes trying to drown in her work and as a byproduct push you aside unintentionally? Check it out with her and see what she says.

I have my own place and so does she. I just spend more time at her place than I do on my own. I constantly feel

Cody, wishing you all the best. That's a really, really tough call to make.

Thanks Laura.

In my case really its really easy. Too easy. Ive broken up with her over 10 times since January. But we keep getting back together to try and make it work, but each fight my patience gets smaller and smaller and it gets harder and harder to get back on track which makes the next fight/breakup that much sooner and more likely over little stupid shit. Its ridiculous.

Bottom line is I dont think we are right to be in a relationship together. I love her, but we just dont work well as a couple.

Im gonna talk to her this afternoon, well see how it goes.

 

[Nephilim96]

Good luck woth that, dude. You guys going to try and stay friends?

 

[KafkaX]

Thanks dude, I imagine we will. Itll be rough at first, always is after any breakup, but I really do my best to salvage a friendship out of my relationships because its never that I hate the chick, or they fuck me over so bad I wish bad upon em etc. It just never works out. Nothing personal you know?

 

[Eligos]

Have you talked to her about this? Maybe there is something else going on that you dont know about that shes trying to drown in her work and as a byproduct push you aside unintentionally? Check it out with her and see what she says.

We discussed it last Friday. She is dealing with stress over moving. The owner of the house she's going to be renting was a struggle to work with an now she's liable for some payments she wasn't expecting. However, the pushing aside is completely intentional and she's unsure of her appetite for the romance I bring to the table.

 

[Zephyrus]

My advice, Cody, is to mutually agree upon a moratorium on communication for a few months, until which time both of you can heal, move on, and perhaps even find other relationships to build and explore. Anything short of that risks falling back into that cycle you've been caught in since January. It will be hard, it will be painful, but my philosophy has always been short-term pain, long-term gain.

I imagine she won't be as receptive to that strategy, but you are the one who must take initiative and be steadfast. She may call you cold and heartless, and perhaps even say she'll never forgive you, but at some point down the line she will thank you for it and because of it you may have grounds for a lasting friendship to develop. However, that cannot happen in the short term.

Best of luck, my friend.

 

[Zephyrus]

However, the pushing aside is completely intentional and she's unsure of her appetite for the romance I bring to the table.

I hope I wasn't the only one who immediately thought of "table time" when I read this.

 

[Nephilim96]

Thanks dude, I imagine we will. Itll be rough at first, always is after any breakup, but I really do my best to salvage a friendship out of my relationships because its never that I hate the chick, or they fuck me over so bad I wish bad upon em etc. It just never works out. Nothing personal you know?

I don't think you always need to stay friends with every ex, but since you two have quite a bit of history, and you guys obviously still care about each other, you two should definitely remain friends. Good luck, once again.

 

[monoxide_child]

Stoya's face kills me.

yes
her face is awesome