Males and Females

[Dak]

I think that some truth gets lost in the longing for some sort of hyper-idyllic-masculine-archetype that never existed outside of Hollywood, in the John Waynes and the Clint Eastwoods of the 20th century.

The truth part is the decline of people who are willing to take personal responsibility; people who truly internalize the locus of control. People who "have their shit together", to use a colloquial phrase. That doesn't require one to tote around six-shooters, constantly have at least 5 days growth, and wear flannel at all times. The "sissy boys" of rather androgynous bearing and style rarely have "their shit together". Of course, neither do the "masculine" caricatures that dominate modern media and culture.

 

[MasterOLightning]

Ozzman's article strikes me as equal parts truth/strawman/get off my lawn.

I agree that there's something to the immaturity of many men nowadays. Do we know if this is a men's issue or a broad societal issue? Are economic circumstances the cause? Romantic relationships are changing for sure. Marriage is later in life on average; teen pregnancy is way down. I don't think it's right to attribute these changes to one gender.

The whole part about "men used to be this and that" is romanticizing heroes that rarely existed in the real world. And those that did fit that type were likely shit fathers and bad husbands.

The technology aspects ring particularly false, since women seem as least as involved with their phones and social media and whatnot as men are. I wouldn't strike against one side more than the other on this issue. In a sense, those words were very chauvinistic in that they expect men to rise up and do better in the information age while not addressing that issue as a shared one between men and women.

Also, women used to dress better too. They didn't wear sweat pants with words printed on their asses five decades ago. It runs both ways in regards to appearance. This is pure "get off my lawn" material when you get into wardrobe, because I really see no divide between the genders in terms of quality of dress. Each gender sets the expectations for the other, to a large degree. (In terms of heteros; not meaning to offend Mort by not including LGBTQXYZ in every discussion about everything ever.)

tl;dr: The internet has changed us all. It's not fair to pick on one gender or another, since the influence seems even across the board.

 

[Mort Divine]

There is no need to feel as if I'd be offended by this. It is fairly obvious that they're talking about the societal 'norm' which is cisgendered straight relationships and not LGBTQA+. They are the most prevalent afterall.

 

[KafkaX]

Gonna talk to my slampiece about commitment tonight. She's been giving me 10% for weeks now and it's time for her to either nut up or pack up. She's not acting like the inspiring person I met in March, and is not communicating with me at all, so I spend a decent hour or two of a given day completely unsure of where we stand.

We're both planning on going to this party our friend is throwing tonight, but if she decides to turn and run, I'll just stay home and write music.

Trying to sort out whether it's worth my time to stay committed to a slam piece that I only get to see or hear from once a week, if that.

Bummer dude. Sounds like a complete 180 since the last time I read about her.

Things with me and my lady are so fucking shakey its about the fall over any day now. That day is today. Im so fucking done with constantly fighting, miscommunicating, and just having a forceful uncomfortable relationship thats constantly falling apart and being put back together.

I really dont know why Ive kept this going as long as I have, but its time to let go of this relationship because it is not serving me really in any way.

 

[King Richard]

Stoya's face kills me.

I. Love. Stoya.

I want her to have my babies.

 

[Eligos]

Stuff

Yeah dude she is not acting like the person I grew infatuated with. I have all these memories of a selfless woman, full of energy, who was good at juggling all the goings on in her life, and find myself with a person who's married to her job, and has set our relationship on a back burner.

I know you two have been in disagreement for a while. If things aren't improving at all, pulling the plug might be the best idea. You two live together, right? How much longer do you have on your lease?

 

[damnromulans]

Cody, wishing you all the best. That's a really, really tough call to make.

 

[damnromulans]

I think that some truth gets lost in the longing for some sort of hyper-idyllic-masculine-archetype that never existed outside of Hollywood, in the John Waynes and the Clint Eastwoods of the 20th century.

The truth part is the decline of people who are willing to take personal responsibility; people who truly internalize the locus of control. People who "have their shit together", to use a colloquial phrase. That doesn't require one to tote around six-shooters, constantly have at least 5 days growth, and wear flannel at all times. The "sissy boys" of rather androgynous bearing and style rarely have "their shit together". Of course, neither do the "masculine" caricatures that dominate modern media and culture.

yeah.

CHAEL SONNEN, now there's a real man

 

[KafkaX]

Yeah dude she is not acting like the person I grew infatuated with. I have all these memories of a selfless woman, full of energy, who was good at juggling all the goings on in her life, and find myself with a person who's married to her job, and has set our relationship on a back burner.

I know you two have been in disagreement for a while. If things aren't improving at all, pulling the plug might be the best idea. You two live together, right? How much longer do you have on your lease?

Have you talked to her about this? Maybe there is something else going on that you dont know about that shes trying to drown in her work and as a byproduct push you aside unintentionally? Check it out with her and see what she says.

I have my own place and so does she. I just spend more time at her place than I do on my own. I constantly feel

Cody, wishing you all the best. That's a really, really tough call to make.

Thanks Laura.

In my case really its really easy. Too easy. Ive broken up with her over 10 times since January. But we keep getting back together to try and make it work, but each fight my patience gets smaller and smaller and it gets harder and harder to get back on track which makes the next fight/breakup that much sooner and more likely over little stupid shit. Its ridiculous.

Bottom line is I dont think we are right to be in a relationship together. I love her, but we just dont work well as a couple.

Im gonna talk to her this afternoon, well see how it goes.

 

[Nephilim96]

Good luck woth that, dude. You guys going to try and stay friends?

 

[KafkaX]

Thanks dude, I imagine we will. Itll be rough at first, always is after any breakup, but I really do my best to salvage a friendship out of my relationships because its never that I hate the chick, or they fuck me over so bad I wish bad upon em etc. It just never works out. Nothing personal you know?

 

[Eligos]

Have you talked to her about this? Maybe there is something else going on that you dont know about that shes trying to drown in her work and as a byproduct push you aside unintentionally? Check it out with her and see what she says.

We discussed it last Friday. She is dealing with stress over moving. The owner of the house she's going to be renting was a struggle to work with an now she's liable for some payments she wasn't expecting. However, the pushing aside is completely intentional and she's unsure of her appetite for the romance I bring to the table.

 

[Zephyrus]

My advice, Cody, is to mutually agree upon a moratorium on communication for a few months, until which time both of you can heal, move on, and perhaps even find other relationships to build and explore. Anything short of that risks falling back into that cycle you've been caught in since January. It will be hard, it will be painful, but my philosophy has always been short-term pain, long-term gain.

I imagine she won't be as receptive to that strategy, but you are the one who must take initiative and be steadfast. She may call you cold and heartless, and perhaps even say she'll never forgive you, but at some point down the line she will thank you for it and because of it you may have grounds for a lasting friendship to develop. However, that cannot happen in the short term.

Best of luck, my friend.

 

[Zephyrus]

However, the pushing aside is completely intentional and she's unsure of her appetite for the romance I bring to the table.

I hope I wasn't the only one who immediately thought of "table time" when I read this.

 

[Nephilim96]

Thanks dude, I imagine we will. Itll be rough at first, always is after any breakup, but I really do my best to salvage a friendship out of my relationships because its never that I hate the chick, or they fuck me over so bad I wish bad upon em etc. It just never works out. Nothing personal you know?

I don't think you always need to stay friends with every ex, but since you two have quite a bit of history, and you guys obviously still care about each other, you two should definitely remain friends. Good luck, once again.

 

[monoxide_child]

Stoya's face kills me.

yes
her face is awesome

 

[crimsonfloyd]

My advice, Cody, is to mutually agree upon a moratorium on communication for a few months, until which time both of you can heal, move on, and perhaps even find other relationships to build and explore. Anything short of that risks falling back into that cycle you've been caught in since January. It will be hard, it will be painful, but my philosophy has always been short-term pain, long-term gain.

I imagine she won't be as receptive to that strategy, but you are the one who must take initiative and be steadfast. She may call you cold and heartless, and perhaps even say she'll never forgive you, but at some point down the line she will thank you for it and because of it you may have grounds for a lasting friendship to develop. However, that cannot happen in the short term.

Best of luck, my friend.

^ Follow this advice.

 

[monoxide_child]

yesterday i'm hanging out with one of those girls that kinda randomly travels across the country, she spent all afternoon telling people "i've only been in Texas for 3 days" and then last night i fucked her

saw this girl a few days ago

she was all exited about getting new clothes

so, me, like a dumb-ass, asked her
"what happened to your old clothes??"

she said she had to get rid of all her old clothes because her newest boyfriend kept getting his cum all over them

 

[SentinelSlain]

I hate liberal middle class women from southern england. They are the whore of babylon.

 

[KafkaX]

We discussed it last Friday. She is dealing with stress over moving. The owner of the house she's going to be renting was a struggle to work with an now she's liable for some payments she wasn't expecting. However, the pushing aside is completely intentional and she's unsure of her appetite for the romance I bring to the table.

It is intentional and shes unsure about your appetite?...Is it possible she thought before getting involved that things were going to be more casual than they are now that you two are together?

Well fuck man, my intial reaction is to go fuck it man, ditch the bitch and find someone whos hungry and appreciates what you bring to the table...But then again, look at my situation, I should be taking the same advice lol

My advice, Cody, is to mutually agree upon a moratorium on communication for a few months, until which time both of you can heal, move on, and perhaps even find other relationships to build and explore. Anything short of that risks falling back into that cycle you've been caught in since January. It will be hard, it will be painful, but my philosophy has always been short-term pain, long-term gain.

I imagine she won't be as receptive to that strategy, but you are the one who must take initiative and be steadfast. She may call you cold and heartless, and perhaps even say she'll never forgive you, but at some point down the line she will thank you for it and because of it you may have grounds for a lasting friendship to develop. However, that cannot happen in the short term.

Best of luck, my friend.

Thats great advice Jeremy, thank you dude.

We already had the talk though. We agreed to give it one more shot. Surprise surprise. Since I talked to her before reading this, Im going to bring this up though as a course of action that we need to take if shit doesnt improve this time around.

I fucking hate relationships.

Follow Zeph's advice.

Word.