Males and Females

A stocking with sex toys including anal beads would be a good idea actually.

Her birthday and christmas are a week apart so I'm going to get her a bunch of little stuff, I'm on house arrest so we can't go anywhere and do anything big. Normally I would get her some small thoughtful things then plan a trip or get tickets to something maybe, but this year it's all presents. So far I'm getting her: a pair of cheetah print Vans that she always screeches when she sees in any mall, because she loves cheetah print like the freaky hipster slut she is. And a stocking with sex toys sounds like a good idea too.

let's keep them coming seriously, anything good/thoughtful/funny would be super helpful

-paddle
-ball gag
-cuffs
-leash
-butt plug
 
A book on becoming a dominatrix and a strap on dildo.

An AR-15.

Mein Kampf

A pet wolf.

A bend over boyfriend dvd.

A foot spa.

Fur underwear.

An early Manowar album on vinyl.

A shemale real doll.

A stars and bars flag rebel flag.

Some crayons.
 
This is so wonderfully creepy because he hasn't posted here in like months.

I liked him best when he was super nubile and a virgin. He's ruined now.

I liked this post by you:

Anyway WAIF shit and goddamn call me if you're ever single and/or just want to stick it in something yellow. Definitely #1 good looking UMF member. O_O

It was actually super easy to find all this. All I had to do was search "waif" in the search engine thing.
 
Being a school janitor has always been one of those careers that wouldn't be horrible imo. Especially if you work after hours, you just have to get your shit done and then you can just do whatever.
 
I share that opinion. The worst of it is cleaning the occasional baby out of a toilet stall or pouring cedar chips on barf. Maybe whitewashing "SO-AND-SO IS A WHORE" off of some walls.
 
The janitor at my high school used to crowd around us outside after school and tell us of all the hilarious stories of how he fingerblasted some dirty fucks when he was younger. Hilarious.
 
I had a cool janitor in 5th grade as well. I remember one time he looked at my t-shirt and said "Dolphins? Don't be such a girl" (it was actually barbed wire which I corrected him on), and then I made of his pink keychain and he'd laugh. We (including a friend or two) would pick on each other back and forth and he'd tell stories about how he was almost killed my lightning cleaning roofs and stuff. Kind of a burly hippie/serial rapist type, big 70's glasses and a bigger blonde/ginger beard surrounding a crooked smile. It's funny because today I'd probably be afraid of him.
 
I had a cool janitor in 5th grade as well. I remember one time he looked at my t-shirt and said "Dolphins? Don't be such a girl" (it was actually barbed wire which I corrected him on), and then I made of his pink keychain and he'd laugh. We (including a friend or two) would pick on each other back and forth and he'd tell stories about how he was almost killed my lightning cleaning roofs and stuff. Kind of a burly hippie/serial rapist type, big 70's glasses and a bigger blonde/ginger beard surrounding a crooked smile. It's funny because today I'd probably be afraid of him.

I don't see a big difference between dolphins and barbed wire.