Males and Females

I guess she couldn't dial out on one of these

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HAH!!!!!!!!
 
I got a couple of milf's numbers but they live too far away really. There's some really sexy brunette who lives around here who seemed into me in a night club, but I'll be fucked if I know what to say to women.
 
I've pretty much lost any interest at all in dating and sex for now. Not even in a defeated, asexual, or sad way. The last time I watched porn, I couldn't escape how weird it felt to touch myself and watch other people fuck. It was like watching someone eat something and making chewing motions and feeling like an idiot because no food was in my mouth. I got off, and thought "that's it?"

When I look at okcupid profiles or talk to women, I have little indication as to what I actually want and know more about what I don't want. I can't picture anything meaningful developing from any of the profiles I come across. Maybe some friendships. On the other hand, other things are starting to interest me more and it's getting to the point that I don't want to sacrifice time pursuing my interests to keeping track of the life of another person I can't even be sure I really want at this point.

I feel like pursuing sex and relationships in the past was a huge waste of time. Oh well.
 
More and more, whenever I see a beautiful woman and contemplate having sex with her, I automatically end up wondering what she's like. Then if I decide that I can just ignore the personality and go for the body, I feel like I'm blinding myself and ignoring the possible pleasure I could find in her personality. Also, if I were to meet a woman and within a short period of time be able to have sex with her, I probably wouldn't be attracted to her because I wouldn't respect her.

Also, sex for the most part hasn't been that awesome for me. On a certain level, my body's saying, "yeah, this is good." But emotionally and mentally, I'm totally detached. I'm looking at the person and thinking things like, "oh, well it's nice they feel good," or avoiding the fact that it irks me that my cock is far more inside of them than my psyche. The strength of the sexual urges I've experienced always far outweighed the pleasure of the experience. I think the emotional and mental element are indispensable for me, whether I like it or not.

I used to be jealous of guys that could just meet a girl and fuck her within the same night and have an awesome time. To each their own.
 
It's not the reefer. I only had sex high twice, and it wasn't that different, except for being more sedated, and the appearance of irrelevant, silly thoughts.
 
V, maybe you should try dating older women. I'm talking 40+. Some guys find it deep and somewhat "motherly." I know that might sound strange but it's quite natural. I mean I'm sure you contemplated this or read about it; maybe try it?
 
I'd be open to it if it happened. I think looking would be a waste of my time at this point.
 
Also, if I were to meet a woman and within a short period of time be able to have sex with her, I probably wouldn't be attracted to her because I wouldn't respect her.

This is some head up your own ass bullshit. I don't want to go Mort but fuck dude you sit around and smoke pot and you wouldn't respect a woman for having sex with you early? Didn't some girl leave you a while back because you chose getting high over her? You wouldn't have respect for her actually wanting to be with you sexually while sitting on a goddamn beanbag, high, eating Cheetos with your shirt off.
 
I've been clean for months. Yes, a girl left me for choosing getting high over her, like six months ago. A lot has changed since then. It's almost as if people change over time, don't always use the internet as a diary, and the conceptions we develop of a person from their rare posts on a forum can be grossly inaccurate.

When I started dating that girl, I didn't even smoke pot, but I don't see how it's impossible for someone who sits around, smokes pot, and eats junk food to not respect a woman who gives it up easily. What do those things have to do with one another?

I was just desperate to have someone, and the fact that she was willing to meet up and fuck as quickly as I was indicated that she was also desperate. So no, I didn't respect her. Getting her sexually and emotionally wasn't any work, fun, or spontaneous adventure. I just wanted someone, so I just parroted her political views, overstressed the importance of common interests we had, made up traits we had in common, and told her I felt things and made up reasons why that any person who's had an honest connection with someone would see as red flags, and then she was willing to date me and fuck me. Even though I wasn't the type of person I'd respect looking back, I still didn't respect her. Yes, I realize the hypocrisy. I was being just as desperate and ignorantly shallow. That's probably why the sex and the relationship as a whole were so empty and unenjoyable.

So to reiterate my point: the reason I didn't respect her was not because I'm some kind of embodiment of success for the human race, but because she was so easy to win over that she didn't feel the least bit like a prize. The reason had nothing to do with me. It was about her.

I don't see what one has to do with the other. I guess it's impossible for someone possessing a trait to dislike it in another person.

Anyways, that's always been my view about casual sex. Some part of me always wanted to go for it because I had sexual urges like any other man, but all of the sex I had in and out of relationships was missing something whether I wanted it to or not, so I'm concluding from that that the thing missing is an emotional element. Hell, I even once held steadfast to a view that saving sex for a relationship or for marriage was for prudes, and I was in an open relationship. Except every time this girl (who I otherwise found very intelligent and deep) would talk about her casual sex, or even mention it, everything I liked about her went out the window, and I'd internally facepalm and say "you stupid slut." I was even more desperate back then than I described above, so I would try to reason my way past my kneejerk response, but it kept popping up.
 
I'm not into casual sex either. Or, at least, I find the act as a whole -- the meeting, the pursuit, the superficial conversations involved, the posturing, and the final result; the game of sex for sex's sake, if you will -- to be unfulfilling and an unproductive use of time. You just need to find somebody that you actually enjoy the company of and fuck them.
 
My ultimate fantasy is to find a milf to rest my head in her bosom, cooing sweet words of protection and love into my ears, one hand gingerly caressing my head, the other jerking me off.
 
I do get what Vimana is saying as that's how I kinda live my life due to being raised like that and just ended up keeping those values, but at the same time I don't think it's wrong for a woman (or man) to just simply enjoy having sex with other people. I mean it really doesn't always have to be a deep experience all the time. It could be just like hanging out and having fun. Even if you're in a long standing relationship sex isn't always spiritual. There are days you connect with someone and there are days where you can't agree on anything the sex is definitely going to be two different experiences given those circumstances.