Males and Females

Jimmy... Dead. said:
When I broke up with my girl back in 2008 I was drinking and popping painkillers like a maniac. Can't say it was a bad time haha. Haven't had it in a long time but fuck do I love oxycodone.
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For me it was a mix of beer (both good and shitty) and klonopin. I'd be embarrassed if I heard my message. Now I think she's mad at me... she told me she doesn't like heavy drinking... :erk:
 
KafkaX said:
Cool man, happy to hear everything worked out in the best way possible.

As for me, I finally manned up and broke up with my girlfriend, for good this time. I feel a mixture of relief, sadness and anger. Of course the breakup went how must of our fights go, a lot of unproductiveness by the way of just bitching at each other. I wanted to have a smooth transition, for both of our healing to start on a healthy note but instead it's started on a anger filled note which leaves me wanting to be anything but nice to her. However, this does motivate me and reassure me that this decision is for the best.
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Well you definitely made the right decision. Now you just have to go through the motions.

Now comes the hard part. Got fucking blackout drunk last night because the sadness came in. I really did love her, as crazy as our relationship was, and cared for her a great deal. But the post breakup blues are setting in hardcore. All those things I took for granted are now no longer, I look back at all the good times, and look back at all the bad times, especially how I was a piece of shit a lot of the time and I get very very depressed and hard on myself. Hence why I drank fucking so heavy last night.

Just gotta stay strong and not get back together with her.
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Yeah man, it'll be rough for a while, but you'll learn a lot about yourself as you move away from the relationship. And you'll always have the positive experiences you shared with her. I'm sure at the moment they feel like "poisoned memories" so to speak, but with distance that will change. Every human relationship ends at some point, but as long as you're alive you can always go back and draw from your past relationships.

And as for the negatives and things you feel you did wrong, it's a good idea to evaluate why those things happened and what factors led you to do those things so you grow from it in the future. But for now just get drunk and go through the motions.
 
KafkaX said:
As for me, I finally manned up and broke up with my girlfriend, for good this time. I feel a mixture of relief, sadness and anger. Of course the breakup went how must of our fights go, a lot of unproductiveness by the way of just bitching at each other. I wanted to have a smooth transition, for both of our healing to start on a healthy note but instead it's started on a anger filled note which leaves me wanting to be anything but nice to her. However, this does motivate me and reassure me that this decision is for the best.

Now comes the hard part. Got fucking blackout drunk last night because the sadness came in. I really did love her, as crazy as our relationship was, and cared for her a great deal. But the post breakup blues are setting in hardcore. All those things I took for granted are now no longer, I look back at all the good times, and look back at all the bad times, especially how I was a piece of shit a lot of the time and I get very very depressed and hard on myself. Hence why I drank fucking so heavy last night.

Just gotta stay strong and not get back together with her.
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somehow didn't see this^^ post till just now :loco:

good for you that you broke it off completely with her
now you should go out and do each of all the things that you couldn't have done while with her

like looking at extreme-hard-core porn all-freaking-day or getting totally wasted and making out with randon homeless girls or getting you stereo blasting loud-as-hell music of the type that she hates
 
Zephyrus said:
LG and I are back on long-distance, even more so than last semester because I'm less likely to be able to afford flying to New England and back for monthly visits, that and I have a busier schedule that prevents me from skipping town/classes to do so.

It's been a bit of an adjustment, since we spent almost four solid months of summer together, almost every day. But we never got sick of each other because the first few months of the relationship were long-distance and an investment that paid off this summer and made our bond strong as ever.

I'm relying on positive habits to keep me going: focusing on my classwork/teaching, cooking healthy meals, and exercising daily. I'm going to limit my drinking to Friday nights or whenever I get a weekend escape to party with Schmidt and company.

We've been in the habit of brief phone calls before bedtime and Skyping a couple times each week. I'm confident we can persevere through it, even if I might not see her until November or even December. Might try to steal a weekend in October but that will really push it.
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Haha, I'm glad that I have a negative influence on your life. Smoke Beers and worship Satan. Heavy metal vomit party drink a thousand beers.
 
Funerary_Doom said:
This is why I like forums, really like reading about other people's experiences. Never went through a legitimate breakup, just a dude who I really liked and thought things were going well completely did a 180 and basically turned me down. It fucked with me really bad; and at the time, i didn't drink at all so i just listened to a ton of music and tried to stay productive. But still was going pretty crazy since my mind is extremely analytical and critical. It might be easier when you try to keep yourself busy and focused on your own betterment. You do get curious every once in awhile, but i'm sure once you set a goal like, "i won't speak to such and such for this amount of time" or "during this time i'm going to work on this about myself" it gets easier. Also, hitting up good friends is always a good idea, sometimes i, myself, forget most of them are just a text away.
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That was how I ended up recovering for the most part. My ex is unavoidable because of how involved we both are with the same group of people, but I had to keep reminding myself that even though she stopped giving me the time of day when we were dating, my company was still worth keeping.

Also, it helps when you realize you're not actually a sack of shit, just behaving like one.
 
Onder said:
But I think it's not always their intention.
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Just like it's not their "intention" to flirt with us, or to manipulate us, or do any of the things they do... at least we as guys tend to be pretty straightforward? (This is a vast generalization, I know, but it's pretty true, at least in my experience.)
 
monoxide_child said:
fyp
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nope

They're meant to look like this:

CNA06082811.jpg


lucy-pinder-feet-3.jpg


12330.jpg


55be61396f6033476246869d70d06bb2.jpg



etc
 
I may find myself in an odd situation in a few weeks:

My ex will be visiting her friends at college ten minutes from my house. We broke up only because she graduated and went back home to Pennsylvania. Other than that, our relationship was great. Since then, she's gotten a new boyfriend, but he's a fucked up psychology grad student. He's got this absurd fetish of watching and/or listening to some other dude fuck his girl, and Lauren (my ex) has appeased this odd fantasy of his a few of times now. I caught up with her tonight on the phone and was pretty... put off by that... thing.

Anyways, she asked if I'd like to see her when she's in the area, which I do very much. Of course, sex is on the table, but I'm not too sure of how I feel about it. I loved her, but didn't take the break-up badly. Just the usual lonely feelings, no big deal. The sex between us was great, but it was the making love sort of deal. If, as would probably be the case, her weirdo masochist wants to listen on speaker phone... you get the point. :erk:
 
It's kinda a weird, but as long as your ex is into it, nobody's being hurt. And she's getting a freebee to be polygamous. As long as he's quiet, it should be easy enough to put in the back of your mind, if you choose to do so.
 
She's definitely into it. It's just an odd situation. She's the only girl (as of now, that is) that I can say I could totally be with long term, so her guy kind of disgusts me. The fact that he suffers from physical limitations, obviously the spark of this odd fetish, only fuels my disgust. Still though, we will be fucking if she comes to visit. Just having a stream of conscious, honestly.
 
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