Males and Females

[Carpe Mortem]

I have a thing for white trash motherfuckers that manage to be simultaneously wise and dumb. And they added a new season to Netflix, woo!

 

[Nephilim96]

Hard to believe that show's been off the air for almost 6 years.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I always end up with sluts.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

That just means you have character

 

[KafkaX]

Dude, any new update on Charles Manson's mistress?

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Nah, we did some texting for a bit but now she's either ignoring me or blocked me. Oh well.

I am meeting a 41 year old asian broad this weekend. She's an 8 but she's down to mingle.

 

[KafkaX]

Probably best for your overall well being.

And a 8 on your scale???

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Remember an 8 is a good looking average bitch. 8's are known to be troopers too

 

[Onder]

So two days ago I got kinda drunk in the 24/7 bar but it was like, 11 in the morning so there was still the entire day ahead of me and I thought ok, let's go see my bitch. So I went to the city and stopped by with this kung-pao I acquired in the local pan-asian necrofood shitshop. I told the guy dude kung-pao but I like mine spicy and he went you like your spicy and I went yes. The thing with this shop is that they're ultrafast with the preparation of the food and not surprisingly it is then kinda raw. The veggies in the meal seem to be just cut and not properly made and shit. Well it took them like a minute and the guy was like, have a tea while we prepare it. And I said well no bro I'd rather an Urquell. So he gave me an Urquell and I finished it before they prepared the food but that was really like a minute so the guy was quite surprised.

But the reason I'm saying this is that I went to my girlfriend's place and I really murdered everything with the sauce because they give you the food in those white plastic cases and as I was drunk I held it like an idiot and I went straight to her bed and left a trail of this oily sauce behind me. We then learned that this essence of orient cannot really be cleaned up so there's now stains around her place. She was like "I told you not to come here when you're drunk! You're annoying, drunk and you smell like shit". Yeah yeah I really had some beers and the 24/7 bar smell just doesn't leave you on your way out. It sticks.

 

[SentinelSlain]

You should have had sex with a smorgasbord

 

[Onder]

You should have had sex with a smorgasbord

Excuse me?

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Smorgasbroad. amirite?

 

[End of Glory]

You should have had sex with a smorgasbord

Smörgåsbord?

 

[SentinelSlain]

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Talking to a new girl on okcupid. Been getting messages from attractive ones at a rate of about one a month lately, which is cool. Pretty sure my emotional issues are still too much of a handful to risk adding a girl's to the mix (and I know I'd be getting fewer messages if my profile didn't obscure the fact that I'm doing unpaid work), but the attention at least keeps my mental self-image from resembling the forever alone meme.

 

[waif]

I was suffering some pretty serious depression following the collapse of my last relationship and I gotta say that going out and fucking a bunch of girls really helped. YMMV but for me it was a good way to get out of the house and get some social contact, which I wasn't really getting much of, plus a boost to my self-confidence and of course the sex was nice too.

Also, if nothing on your profile is an outright lie you're fine. Everyone presents their best self online.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

People should post pro and con lists about themselves on those sites. Get it all out on the table.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Pro: Wide tongue
Con: Small cock

 

[Nephilim96]

TB

Pro:
Con: Small Cock; No Tongue

 

[KafkaX]

Pro: Wide tongue
Con: Small cock

TB

Pro:
Con: Small Cock; No Tongue