Males and Females

One ring to rule them all, amirite?

We've been talking about getting married for a while. We've been together four years now. She's the most sane and rational person I've been with. Plus, she's cute, so that doesn't hurt. Time to marry the shit out of her.

Thanks, guys
 
I saw a pretty girl today and then I saw her sister and she had a larger butt but I wouldn't mind. They had a dog.
 
We were having beers outside. Went to say hello to horsechick too and then had some beers with those chicks. They had a dog. The dog was running around like crazy for some ball and shit. One time the cunt ran away and ate someone's salad and they were like, we don't even like salad but we would like to keep the wursts. Why do you bring salad to the picnic if you're just gonna eat wursts you hilly billy shitmonger YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO BE NICE ANYWAY I HATE DOGS TOO YOU KNOW they eat shit like it's theirs and smell bad too.

I kinda liked this girl's big ass though. Goddamit it wasn't bad at all. It's not like it's all my fault anyway, I mean, all things. There's all kinds of shit.
 
Haha, thanks Schmidt. My uncle is gonna officiate the ceremony. He's an 80s hair metalhead, so I guess that'll work

and yeah she can make enchiladas...she just doesn't nearly enough. I do the majority of the cooking

edit: or tamales...whatever