Males and Females

[The Ozzman]

Alright ladies and gentlemen. Sit down and grab a cold one. Schmidty story-time 2015 edition:

tl;dr first: I got laid

Was out at the local bar. Stayed until closing because it's what I do. Drunk girl was trying desperately to get a ride back but kept failing and I figured I'd do the gentleman-y thing (lol) and invite her back to my place since it's 30 feet away. Shit got greasy quick, or at least it seemed to. Unfortunately, after about 6 tallboy cans of Becks I had a bad case of whiskey dick and failed to really enjoy myself, but she seemed to enjoy herself.

Funniest part: was moving to do mish on her and immediately started having a bloody nose. That ended any sort of physical activity for the night. Not exactly a panty-dropper there...

The next morning (today) I drove her back to her car. She said that she liked me (which she kept saying a few times while we were snuggling) and we exchanged numbers. Not a bad night/morning.

Oh, and this girl was pretty clearly out of my league.

This post is useless without pics. It took me a minute to figure out 'mish' meant missionary.

 

[CiG]

Hahaha.

 

[Funerary_Doom]

It took me awhile to figure out what mish was too, but

 

[tagradh]

I've never heard of a dude's nose cockblocking him, shame about the limp-dick dude but nice, sounds like it would be a great episode of Eastbound & Down.

I was with a girl in my room at university when I got a nosebleed that lasted several days and had me in hospital for two weeks. I'd never really thought about it in those terms before.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

tbh the whiskey dick was cock-blocking me. The nose was just the cream on the top.

 

[tagradh]

You coulda made a dick splint outa an ice lolly stick and some duct tape.

 

[The Butt]

Dick splint

 

[CiG]

Or just put your balls and snagger in all at once so she feels filled.

 

[Omni]

Jesus Christ. That's just funny. Good job though.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

arg, all the power to ya bro. Maybe you should tone down on the smugness and the "my whores" stuff but like yea cool.

I just don;t understand how the hunt isn't part of it for some guys. I also think it's 10x better when you persuade a girl to want you more than you do her.

Even the physically repulsive could get me hard if they casually told me the right thing from across a table.

Exactly. If a girl's a trooper and willing to get on your level it's damn fantastic

Oh, and this girl was pretty clearly out of my league.

awwwwww shit. let's hear it! what's the number!?

 

[Omni]

Also, I just looked back on the previous page. You guys are slow on the uptake. I've been waiting on Deron to merge my accounts for a while. I've never been an alt of Dodens. He's so grumpy nowadays that he won't even talk to me.

Also, I posted about having my accounts merged previously so I'm surprised nobody but MalignParadigm is smart enough to figure out who I was before today. I also posted when V5 posted my Soulseek chat logs.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

Congrats Yoda-man.

 

[arg]

thumbs up bro... now get on a strict erection diet and drink tons of water and energy drinks

 

[The Butt]

Also, I just looked back on the previous page. You guys are slow on the uptake. I've been waiting on Deron to merge my accounts for a while. I've never been an alt of Dodens. He's so grumpy nowadays that he won't even talk to me.

Also, I posted about having my accounts merged previously so I'm surprised nobody but MalignParadigm is smart enough to figure out who I was before today. I also posted when V5 posted my Soulseek chat logs.

I only just clued in last night tbh, when I was reading old threads for the hell of it.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Mercyful Fate = Omni?

 

[Omni]

Mercyful Fate = Omni?

Yes.

 

[unknown]

Mercyful Fate = Omni?

winner winner chicken dinner

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Oh cool.

sup

 

[SentinelSlain]

I don't believe in Omni, something about the personality makes me think it's a man pretending to be a woman for the lulz.

 

[CiG]

Is that just an underhanded request for photos?