It appears that I am now single again. She and I are going to talk tomorrow about it (if for some reason she doesn't back out of it), but it went 18 months. My relationships are getting progressively longer each time, but I've honestly been unhappy for quite some time which I'm going to detail tomorrow. My gut tells me she's also been unhappy for a while but we tried to make it work. She has other stuff going on and I think she feels so overwhelmed about stuff that I'm hoping this helps her a little (as much as I regret to say it). The fact that she has 4 children (3 with her currently as one is in college) and she was absent frequently in recent months did not help the situation. She was absent because of a very long story, but the short of it is:
She quit her job this summer and took a severance package and was trying to have a better relationship with her kids and also get her house stuff in order because it was a mess. It got to the point where she didn't want to leave the kids alone or she just had too much going on and couldn't connect. It was a really messy situation. I kinda came in right when everything kinda hit bottom and now she's trying to get out of the hole so I got the brunt of all the stupid shit that goes along with that but I cared about her enough to deal with it.
I guess that's not so short after all
This would probably be the only time where I could be friends with a woman after a relationship ends. I think that can only happen with certain personalities. I don't know, that will pan out and we'll see how well I handle it.
Time to be my own best friend again for a while or reconnect with people.