Males and Females

Again I stand corrected, my bad.

OK this is bugging me. Those of you in long term relationships (2+ years) how often do you "do it" if you are spending one week in a semi-cohabitation setting?
 
When we were at school (each other's dorms during junior year/this house senior year) it was an average of three times a week, and during the summer when it went to long-distance we were at it every night we were together. One time she stayed a week, and we went for the record.

You asked.


Also, tonight she brought it to my attention that she still has feelings for me (or at least, has to resist the urge to initiate "cuddling"). I feel weird, but not anxious, because for once I'm in a superior position. She said we should talk when she's less drunk. Not sure where this is going, but I have pretty much erased all feelings for her, but will do what I can to help her out. I have no desire to start our relationship up again.
 
krampus said:
Again I stand corrected, my bad.

OK this is bugging me. Those of you in long term relationships (2+ years) how often do you "do it" if you are spending one week in a semi-cohabitation setting?
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Hmm depends on what's going on in life at the time. If work is stressy, sleep is bad etc etc, well that can change things for the worse. If you're both feeling good, well, neither person needs to worry about not getting enough exercise then :-)
 
Good news: So "girl-who-wants-to-play-Magic" got back in contact with me again; she now wants to try weed for the first time... with me. I'm so taken aback (and honored), it's not even funny. Gonna be a fucking blast.

Bad news: I've been thinking about this girl non-stop since I broke up with my ex... I hope this isn't one of those situations where I fall for her again; I was pretty much in love with her when we first became friends three years ago... worst friend-zone of my life, I can't go through that shit again. :erk:

Cythraul said:
combo breaker comin' up:

Well, me and the old lady (the one I used to have a lot of problems with) are back together. Actually, we've been back together since November (after I got locked up for a week; worst week of my life), and aside from a couple times where we had some fights (working out some shit from the past), we have been pretty stable. Actually, more stable than we've been since...August of '09 I think. So things are looking pretty good. I was so fucked up in '10 and part of '09 that I'm just glad to have some stability in my life again. I've been not depressed for a pretty long time and I don't even take meds anymore (except for Ativan if I want to get high). She lives in Tucson now and I practically live with her, and we have a nice time together. Shit is pretty good.
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Congrats bud. It's about time some good relationship stories happened here.
 
Cythraul said:
combo breaker comin' up:

Well, me and the old lady (the one I used to have a lot of problems with) are back together. Actually, we've been back together since November (after I got locked up for a week; worst week of my life), and aside from a couple times where we had some fights (working out some shit from the past), we have been pretty stable. Actually, more stable than we've been since...August of '09 I think. So things are looking pretty good. I was so fucked up in '10 and part of '09 that I'm just glad to have some stability in my life again. I've been not depressed for a pretty long time and I don't even take meds anymore (except for Ativan if I want to get high). She lives in Tucson now and I practically live with her, and we have a nice time together. Shit is pretty good.
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I don't want to be a party pooper, but I posted this in a thread here weeks ago. Granted, I posed it in the form of a question to which no one replied, but still. :P

Seriously though, I'm happy for you bro. Hopefully everything works out. go go yellow fever! oh wait, I'm not part of that club anymore... :erk:
 
I've been with my girlfriend for 14 months and things are going well. I sort of wish I could have a chance to date someone else though, because I'm a senior and have only had 2 girlfriends in high school. Its not that I don't love her, though. She's fun and we get along really well, but I jut wish I could see what the other fish in the sea are like, so to speak.

Anyway, I'm not breaking up with her or anything. I'm going to be moving to another city soon, though, so I'll see what happens when that time comes.
 
I had a talk with my ex today as well. We've identified one of my biggest problems is that while I devote most of my life to academic thought and what not, I do have emotional needs that I have only been filling with girlfriend, and that I need to get a better social life in order to cope with life.

She also said that, while she would hold nothing at all against me for doing it, that it would not be good for me to get into another relationship until like 6 months after the breakup. I'm kind of confused about this, and I think it has less to do with the aforementioned quality of mine than it looks.
 
My Cat Owns said:
I've been with my girlfriend for 14 months and things are going well. I sort of wish I could have a chance to date someone else though, because I'm a senior and have only had 2 girlfriends in high school. Its not that I don't love her, though. She's fun and we get along really well, but I jut wish I could see what the other fish in the sea are like, so to speak.

Anyway, I'm not breaking up with her or anything. I'm going to be moving to another city soon, though, so I'll see what happens when that time comes.
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The grass is always greener. It might be wise to keep in mind that girls aren't notches in a toolbelt. This is not to say that if you are legitimately unhappy with your relationship with her that you should bite the bullet, just that I think you should have a better reason for breaking up with her beyond a rather immature and selfish "I want more girlfriends" mentality.
 
Zephyrus said:
I had a talk with my ex today as well. We've identified one of my biggest problems is that while I devote most of my life to academic thought and what not, I do have emotional needs that I have only been filling with girlfriend, and that I need to get a better social life in order to cope with life.

She also said that, while she would hold nothing at all against me for doing it, that it would not be good for me to get into another relationship until like 6 months after the breakup. I'm kind of confused about this, and I think it has less to do with the aforementioned quality of mine than it looks.
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Random dude on the internet dating advice #5678: While what she says about your lack of social circle beyond her may be true, her advice about avoiding another relationship for 6 months seems to me to be motivated by her own jealousy more so than a genuine interest in protecting your well-being.

I say do what you want, man.
 
I think she's more genuine than that, since we still live together (in a house with three other people) and plan to be good friends, so we still care about each other.

However, I'm just going to move forward with life and not adhere to any "mourning period" because I don't see how it will benefit me.
 
The more often you see a person that you broke up with, the weirder and bigger the impact when they begin to date someone else. This is especially true of someone you have been dating for a long time. I'd imagine she probably gave you that advice so she can cope, and so you can have time to think.

I broke up with my girlfriend earlier this week, and we have a class together, so it's a little weird. I don't think it will take too long for things to return to normal, since we were good friends before we dated, and lovey dovey shit never took up much of our conversations.
 
Tetrissitatus said:
The more often you see a person that you broke up with, the weirder and bigger the impact when they begin to date someone else. This is especially true of someone you have been dating for a long time. I'd imagine she probably gave you that advice so she can cope, and so you can have time to think.

I broke up with my girlfriend earlier this week, and we have a class together, so it's a little weird. I don't think it will take too long for things to return to normal, since we were good friends before we dated, and lovey dovey shit never took up much of our conversations.
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I second that, I experience the same shit with my first (ex)- gf. Bloody hell, weird feeling hen you see her again, laughing and together with another guy, especially if ya knew the background
 
Death Aflame said:
Random dude on the internet dating advice #5678: While what she says about your lack of social circle beyond her may be true, her advice about avoiding another relationship for 6 months seems to me to be motivated by her own jealousy more so than a genuine interest in protecting your well-being.

I say do what you want, man.
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I agree with this. Did she explain exactly why half a year was necessary? Imo that is much too long. And sure, she may be genuine, but she could be saying that without sort of really thinking about it, in a sense.

But yeah, do what you want.
 
Beginning to think I actually have a chance with the Chinese girl I know. We had dinner with a couple other friends earlier tonight, then the others went home and the two of us just walked around town for over an hour talking about life and our emotional needs and various other bullshit. There were a couple nonverbal singals she gave this time that haven't been there before, i.e. patting me on the shoulder or knee after I made a self-effacing joke or said something otherwise 'cute' or 'vulnerable'.

I'm still not expecting much at this point. Between the really talky nature of our friendship and the fact that she's just coming out of another relationship, I feel like there's about a million ways things could go wrong if I start a flirting game with her. But of course I'm still struggling to get it into my head that flirting is a game, one that often requires immense subtlety, patience and attention to signals. I really enjoy hanging out with her as a friend and don't want to put our friendship at risk, so that makes it all the more difficult to figure out what to do. It was pretty tricky even gaining her emotional trust to begin with.
 
The ex and I are good now. Yay. It's nice that she didn't yell at me and turn one of my best friends against me.
 
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