Marriage

[BlackMetalWhiteGuy]

I now have a 19 yr old daughter

Pics please

 

[razoredge]

Perhaps those are implicit in the religious sense of marriage, but as far as legally uniting to people who wish to share the legal benefits of heterosexual couples, those problems are not necessarily existent. If we assume the couple is two orphan people who have no desire to have any children or any other family than their spouse, where is the problem?

I dont know what it has to do with religion. However your scenerio is not a 100% indication nor a 100% indication of the motives.

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

Its not a private affair however, it reaches beyond that into other sectors of public concern.

It is a private affair insomuch as it deals with the financial affairs, which is my primary concern and quarrel with the institution. Additionally, 'public concern' is a very vague and dangerous appeal as the logical conclusion of 'public concern' is totalitarianism. Either the aforementioned interest is explicitly limited to basic natural rights and the sanctity of the contract, or it will be expanded by politicians, interest groups, and other entities of ill repute to no end.

 

[razoredge]

none the less marraige carrys legal allowances of public interest

 

[derek]

Such as?

 

[speed]

Well, I'm getting married next week, so I'll be able to answer this thread a little more accurately then.

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

Got a pre-nup?

 

[derek]

He doesn't have anything to lose!

 

[speed]

He doesn't have anything to lose!

I can provide my address for anyone interested in giving me a wedding gift/ stuff to lose, hehe.

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

Well, there is the issue not only of current net worth, but of earnings during the marriage as well as any alimony. I do not mean to be a cynic, but the odds just are not in your favour. Best not be penny-wise and pound-foolish, or worse yet let one's own passions dictate financial affairs.

 

[Blowtus]

I would argue that the potential financial loss is far outweighed by the cost to self / relationship of actually worrying about such petty shit...

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

In this context, something with odds greater than 1 in 2 that can cost him this much is not petty shit. When it comes to money, always think with the northern mind.

 

[Blowtus]

Odds greater than 1/2 that marriage results in a divorce with settlement strongly in favour of the female? What fucking country do you live in?

 

[derek]

He is so incredibly fiscal isn't he? I'd swear he was Scottish if he wasn't so dour!

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

Odds greater than 1/2 that marriage results in a divorce with settlement strongly in favour of the female? What fucking country do you live in?

June 11, 2003

“Fifty percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second and 74 percent
of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the
Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.”

Apparently I exaggerated by not less than 1% when I said 'greater'. My apologies.

As for country, unfortunately I live in the States. @Derek: My stepfather is Scottish and at one point consulted for RBS Group, does that count?

That said, 50% is still a good probability. I'd get a pre-nup even at 1%. If the lady balks, just say that your (lawyer/accountant/other professional) advised you to do so.

A few more for thy reading pleasure:

41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.
http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/200003/030_too_large.cfm


Percentage of first marriages that end in divorce in 1997: 50%
Percentage of remarriages that end in divorce in 1997: 60%
http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml


“Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Sixty-seven percent of all
second marriages end in divorce.”
http://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm


“In fact second and third marriages are more likely than first
marriages to end in divorce. The statistics say the “54% of American
women and 61% of American men who wed a second time eventually go
through divorce again” (p. 276). In addition, about 40% of third
marriages fail.”

Bellarmine College of Liberal Arts
http://bellarmine.lmu.edu/faculty/mmills_fp/Sexdiffs/spr01/panel6.htm

 

[speed]

Cipher: You know, not everything is about money or material things. Marriage--well in my case I think--is about love, the soul, and friendship. And that is what I think everyone really wants, and sometimes if one worries about the material monetary things, it really cheapens the love. Perhaps this has only been the case for a hundred years though (although, clearly the peasants who made up 90% of the population married for love, a child, etc, rather than property), when marriages were essentially legal contracts to obtain and legally pass on property. But in my case at least, its about that seeingly lame and cliche love.

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

In the event of a divorce (which is about 50-50 by the numbers), a lawyer would see things differently. If nothing else, does taking out an insurance policy cheapen the quality of a sports-car (that's what a pre-nup is after all)...ah well, your bankruptcy.

 

[razoredge]

Some people do get screwed but in my case my girlfriend was every bit of a 50% contributor. Prenups are for the extremely wealthy who know damn well they are taking a risk on a scetchy marraige that might be based on lust with a golddigger. Its really the fault of our court systems and lawyers who reap the real rewards anyhow.

 

[Blowtus]

In the event of a divorce (which is about 50-50 by the numbers), a lawyer would see things differently. If nothing else, does taking out an insurance policy cheapen the quality of a sports-car (that's what a pre-nup is after all)...ah well, your bankruptcy.

No, it doesn't cheapen the quality of a sports car. If you shop for a wife just as you shop for a sports car, then yes, a pre-nup makes perfect sense...

Anyway, the statistics you quoted above were purely for divorce - not for divorce + getting screwed over financially.

 

[Vimana]

I don't like the idea of marriage. I find that since females are the gender that get pregnant they are looking for commitment. The problem I have with marriage is its "the" way to show that you're truly committed. I will not get married when I am older. And I have reasons why.

Pre-wedding freak out
Spending money on the wedding
Having to go to greater lengths to prove our commitment to each other
Legal crap if the relationship doesn't work in the upcoming years

I'm pretty sure couples love each other the same whether they're married or not but divorces are much worse than break ups.

Personally, I feel no obligation to get married, but I don't have a girlfriend anyway. I'm actually going to my first wedding on Saturday though and they're the same age as me. However, they've been together for as long as I've known them (almost six years) and they're still very much in love with each other. By contrast, I've been single for a year as of two weeks ago and the eight month relationship was the longest that either of us have had.

I'm single too, when I told this one guy who has had a gf for a while my views on marriage he said in a joking way that I was just bitter because I was single. But I don't think thats the case. I've been in a relationship (it sucked) and I pretty much rushed into it. The main reason it sucked was because our relationship had to be just as "good" as others and that kinda fucked it up (besides that we lived about 10 miles from each other and went to different schools). Relationships and commitment and such should happen naturally, not by pressure of a popular ritual. And I think stuff like that can ruin relationships.

Honestly though, I really don't see any point to marriage other than in those cases in which a couple wants to go that extra step to prove their dedication to each other. I think in a lot of cases though, many people just get married because they feel pressured into it, or they want to legitimize themselves as adults.

Agreed, one reason I don't want to get married is because it will take away the "childlike" things that are fun.