New Social Thread

[Jimmy... Dead.]

So I've been living in another State for awhile now and I've become completely depressed and self loathing. Thoughts of suicide have been consistent but nothing serious. I think I'm going to quit my bullshit life/job and try to be a real person.

 

[Zephyrus]

Funny that you got into Maine not long before I'm about to leave it. What of Israeli chick?

 

[Dak]

I think I'm going to quit my bullshit life/job and try to be a real person.

Most of the "developed" world probably needs to take this advice.

 

[A1a23]

So I've been living in another State for awhile now and I've become completely depressed and self loathing. Thoughts of suicide have been consistent but nothing serious. I think I'm going to quit my bullshit life/job and try to be a real person.

Don't become like your username.

 

[Zephyrus]

So after smoking way too much pot last night I started freaking out and had a major crisis. I woke up this morning and I'm still feeling anxious over all of it.

I am morally bankrupt, utterly.

I've become addicted to sex, to the internet, to Facebook, to making myself stupid every night with marijuana. I've become an animal, and rather unsociable. I'm neglecting my friends, my family, my roommate, and isolated within this world of base desires and short-term gratification.

All I want to do is to take a library of classical texts with me and live in a monastery. I want to cut off all interest in drugs, women and media and focus solely on regaining the intellect I once exercised so strongly when I was an undergrad. I've degenerated from an insightful thinker and writer, down to a petty translator, and now all I do intellectually is read Latin and Greek. It's one thing that I've improved in, but at the cost of so much else.

I've realized in this past year since graduating just how intrinsically unmotivated I am. I've gotten so used to the world handing everything to me, and that includes academic work. I thrive in an environment where there are deadlines and assignments, but when it's time for my own initiative to undertake such projects, I just don't have the gumption.

I've completely stagnated. I don't seek out new music anymore, instead just listening to the same limited amount of music over and over.

This all needs to change, and it's going to be royally difficult to do so, but it will require monumental sacrifices. I need to refocus on my goals, my purpose in life, and stick to that every waking hour.

I've lost all sense of value in everything. While I may be civilized on the surface, deep down I view everyone, women especially, as objects of conquest and nothing more, means to an end and possessing no inherent value beyond the gratification of my own fleeting and fluctuating passions.

I know it's not the best or easiest way to try to make a polar shift from abject hedonism to utter asceticism but a gradual approach seems just as difficult.

I could just be overreacting but it's really worth resetting my priorities as I prepare for graduate school and an academic career.

We'll see how this goes...

 

[waif]

Get over yourself. If you actually succeeded in what you're proposing, you'd hate yourself. You can't make something intrinsically motivating. Besides, you're twenty-whatever. If your primary interests weren't sex and drugs that would be disturbing. You've also graduated. Of course you're cutting loose.
Stop looking down on people for enjoying themselves, and just enjoy life yourself without feeling guilty about it. When you start grad school you'll probably get back into the swing of things.

 

[Zephyrus]

That's what I'm hoping, but the way I've been going lately I'll be completely unprepared for that shift back into that swing of things. I'm more vicious than you think, and it's finally having consequences.

I'm judging myself, but that doesn't imply that I'm judging others. Everyone deals with these things, and I'm dealing with them in my own way.

 

[KafkaX]

Anyone in the South Florida area? Im dying of non-metal socalization!

 

[waif]

I mean, definitely take inventory. For one, how often are you getting high? If it really is every day, you should cut back. Altered states should be the spice of life, not the substance. That said, you just finished your undergrad. Unless I'm mistaken, you have no academic responsibilities at the moment. This is prime time to just get fucked up and chase girls without remorse.

 

[The Ozzman]

Besides, you're twenty-whatever. If your primary interests weren't sex and drugs that would be disturbing.

What? This makes no sense. I think sex and drugs as primary interests are disturbing. Then again, I'm weird and have different priorities in life than getting high and getting laid.

 

[waif]

By sex and drugs I mean activities with relatively immediate gratification. Also, aren't you old as fuck (i.e. almost 30)?

 

[The Ozzman]

I'm 28, so I fall under your 'twenty-whatever' blanket statement

 

[King Richard]

Whoa hold on, since when is almost thirty old as fuck?

 

[Master_Yoda77]

I'm sorta going through the same crisis as Jeremy, except not to that extent. I've pretty much come to terms that I will not be capable of teaching at the college level.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

So after smoking way too much pot last night I started freaking out and had a major crisis. I woke up this morning and I'm still feeling anxious over all of it.

I am morally bankrupt, utterly.

I've become addicted to sex, to the internet, to Facebook, to making myself stupid every night with marijuana. I've become an animal, and rather unsociable. I'm neglecting my friends, my family, my roommate, and isolated within this world of base desires and short-term gratification.

All I want to do is to take a library of classical texts with me and live in a monastery. I want to cut off all interest in drugs, women and media and focus solely on regaining the intellect I once exercised so strongly when I was an undergrad. I've degenerated from an insightful thinker and writer, down to a petty translator, and now all I do intellectually is read Latin and Greek. It's one thing that I've improved in, but at the cost of so much else.

I've realized in this past year since graduating just how intrinsically unmotivated I am. I've gotten so used to the world handing everything to me, and that includes academic work. I thrive in an environment where there are deadlines and assignments, but when it's time for my own initiative to undertake such projects, I just don't have the gumption.

I've completely stagnated. I don't seek out new music anymore, instead just listening to the same limited amount of music over and over.

This all needs to change, and it's going to be royally difficult to do so, but it will require monumental sacrifices. I need to refocus on my goals, my purpose in life, and stick to that every waking hour.

Just out of curiosity, is classics and ancient history really your end-all passion in life, or are there perhaps other things you're interested in too but haven't devoted much time to?

I've lost all sense of value in everything. While I may be civilized on the surface, deep down I view everyone, women especially, as objects of conquest and nothing more, means to an end and possessing no inherent value beyond the gratification of my own fleeting and fluctuating passions.

This is an interesting issue actually. I'm pretty sure I've experienced a similar thing with the way I've put on this lens lately of seeing everyone I know as a resource and salesmanship as the single most useful skill in life (because connections can truly make things happen for you if you're a likable guy). I'm not convinced it's a bad thing at all.

It's certainly redefined my concept of "friends" (i.e. destroyed it entirely), but what strikes me is that most of my in-person peers seem to have great respect for me and look up to me in some way. So I think by "practicing likability" with people I meet I'm actually accomplishing a pretty sweet goal. I like to think I'm working toward some kind of community building effort.

Again, I don't have your experience with women so I have no concept of how complicated they can make someone's life.

I know it's not the best or easiest way to try to make a polar shift from abject hedonism to utter asceticism but a gradual approach seems just as difficult.

I could just be overreacting but it's really worth resetting my priorities as I prepare for graduate school and an academic career.

We'll see how this goes...

So yeah tldr I would just say try to get out, meet new people and network + get involved in cool collaborative things.

 

[Dak]

What? This makes no sense. I think sex and drugs as primary interests are disturbing. Then again, I'm weird and have different priorities in life than getting high and getting laid.

Agreed.

I'm 28, so I fall under your 'twenty-whatever' blanket statement

Turning 28 this year. /brofist

 

[Zephyrus]

I really psyched myself out yesterday, but I am genuinely determined to make improvements in my habits and priorities. I think a major thing about me is I want to identify with older age groups than my own, that is, in academia, which is causing me to think so negatively about my own generation and the Sturm und Drang of youth in general. Also, I am a huge control freak, and when I sense I'm losing control of my own life, I have a doom-and-gloom crisis like I did yesterday.

Classics is my life, Grant. I live it every day and it forms so integral a part of not only my thought patterns, but also my identity as a human being historically, culturally, and even spiritually. I would sacrifice anything for it, and I have done so. And I want to sacrifice even more, crucify myself for it. The Greco-Roman pantheon, in a figurative sense, is what I worship. I cannot fathom being a scholar in this field without living the way the Greeks and Romans did, speaking their language, thinking their thoughts. The phil- in philology is no paltry prefix.

This sounds like fanatical rhetoric, but it is a genuine passion. Every person should have a passion to be this devoted to. It's how we derive purpose from life.

 

[damnromulans]

So after smoking way too much pot last night I started freaking out and had a major crisis. I woke up this morning and I'm still feeling anxious over all of it.

I am morally bankrupt, utterly.

I've become addicted to sex, to the internet, to Facebook, to making myself stupid every night with marijuana. I've become an animal, and rather unsociable. I'm neglecting my friends, my family, my roommate, and isolated within this world of base desires and short-term gratification.

All I want to do is to take a library of classical texts with me and live in a monastery. I want to cut off all interest in drugs, women and media and focus solely on regaining the intellect I once exercised so strongly when I was an undergrad. I've degenerated from an insightful thinker and writer, down to a petty translator, and now all I do intellectually is read Latin and Greek. It's one thing that I've improved in, but at the cost of so much else.

I've realized in this past year since graduating just how intrinsically unmotivated I am. I've gotten so used to the world handing everything to me, and that includes academic work. I thrive in an environment where there are deadlines and assignments, but when it's time for my own initiative to undertake such projects, I just don't have the gumption.

I've completely stagnated. I don't seek out new music anymore, instead just listening to the same limited amount of music over and over.

This all needs to change, and it's going to be royally difficult to do so, but it will require monumental sacrifices. I need to refocus on my goals, my purpose in life, and stick to that every waking hour.

I've lost all sense of value in everything. While I may be civilized on the surface, deep down I view everyone, women especially, as objects of conquest and nothing more, means to an end and possessing no inherent value beyond the gratification of my own fleeting and fluctuating passions.

I know it's not the best or easiest way to try to make a polar shift from abject hedonism to utter asceticism but a gradual approach seems just as difficult.

I could just be overreacting but it's really worth resetting my priorities as I prepare for graduate school and an academic career.

We'll see how this goes...

Congratulations, you're a spoiled and privileged person who has never needed to know anything besides book learning and this "crisis" is the worst thing you have ever known! Save the anxiety for real problems and spare us these pompous and autofellating "revelation" posts.

 

[sevag00]

I'm sorta going through the same crisis as Jeremy, except not to that extent. I've pretty much come to terms that I will not be capable of teaching at the college level.

Teaching? Worry about graduating first.

 

[damnromulans]

All you people need to calm down and take life as it comes, every human has an internal crisis of sorts around this age ("this age" being 21-30) but good news, most people survive and become real adults!