Official Bloodstock 2009 thread
- Thread starter Bellini
- Start date
The Shinster
Penior Member
- Feb 9, 2007
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As a turisas fan you are automatically welcome. However there are some stipulations upon arrival:
- You must learn to follow every chant of BATTLE with KETTLE
- Due to Yorkshire being the best darn county in the world, you must also learn to chant "YORKSHIRE AND BEYOND" To the tune of a very epic song
-All blows of the horn by either me or Mika must be immediately followed with a shout of GONDOR!!!
other than that, general epicness must prevail!
Negative to that shite thanks.
Katie'Force
Kables
now just exactly how the hell is camp viking going to be any different from any other camp if we don't have epic chanting going on... and horn blowing...
Mika, are we having another brothel next year?
having found the thread involving letters to top gear, here it is:
http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/off-topic/388928-longship-voyage.html
the first draft was never actually written, but we anticipated it's response being thus:
Clarkson: Hammond, your presence is required on a longboat.
Hamster: A longboat?!
Clarkson: Yes, these two want to make a Viking of you apparently.
May: Weren't the Vikings generally taller than Hammond?
we then added our version of viking school:
viking school!!!!! *raises tankard in the air* and that was lesson one, how to hold your ale epically
followed by viking scouts.... I'm not even quoting that, you'll just have to read it
and the final version of the letter went something like this:
Dear Top Gear,
We are fans of a Viking Metal band called Turisas, who are known for being, well, Vikingish. For some time now we have been planning a longship voyage around the UK to coincide with dates on the Dragonforce tour, for which they are the main support act. We have varying levels of expertise in Vikingly behaviour - ale quaffing is a particular speciality - and would like you to take part in our voyage. We propose that James May and his harem of named spanners be put in charge of longship production (we would like wheels and a motor for inland gigs), and that Jeremy be alongside at a respectable distance in order to be The Enemy. This will involve taking potshots at His Prattishness, and possibly bodily injury, but as Clarkson himself pointed out on Jonathan Ross' show, Top Gear's ratings go up when presenters are injured.
Richard Hammond will be taken onboard the longship as obligatory totty for the wenches - this is not optional, and we make no guarantees that he will return unmolested. We believe the wenches are aware of his married status, but we cannot guarantee that this fact will be remembered at all times during the voyage, or at all. We regret that we cannot, under any circumstances, accomodate Mindy Hammond.
We look forward to hearing from you,
The Turisas Longship Horde
so in conclusion, get yourself over to the topic, just make sure you're not in a place where laughing will get you into trouble... because i first read it at work, and strange looks were given when i had fits of giggles...
HAHAHAA I have just read the thread 
I have a really funny picture in my head right now.
GONDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a really funny picture in my head right now.
GONDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Shinster
Penior Member
- Feb 9, 2007
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Chanting I can deal with but it will all be in Latin or Byzantine Greek.
With no references to Yorkshire or Gondor.
One is a stupid place surrounded and infested with ugly orcs and the other is a fictional city.
Kayne
.. - - ..
I'm agreed to the stipulations set out. And i hate you, i cant even hear them say battle metal anymore, its a permanent fucking kettle. cheers.
And forget Hammond and Clarkson, can you imagine what james may might look like in full warpaint!! he has the hair already. But hammond and clarkson would be more fun hmmmmmmm.. my minds blown at the moment anyway
And forget Hammond and Clarkson, can you imagine what james may might look like in full warpaint!! he has the hair already. But hammond and clarkson would be more fun hmmmmmmm.. my minds blown at the moment anyway
Fullangr
Loitering Dwarf
Katie'Force
Kables
HAHAHAA I have just read the thread
I have a really funny picture in my head right now.
GONDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are officially invited to join Camp Viking!
you're going to tell me you're from some epic fail place like lancashire aren't you?
mwahahaha just wait until mika has you singing "I'm a little teapot" during turisas gigs...
some of those scouts are acting a bit peculiar... haha i love that thread!
The Shinster
Penior Member
- Feb 9, 2007
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Katie'Force
Kables
He's right you know, Yorkshire is so far superior to the rest of England it should be it's own country
Well at least we agree on Lancashire being a complete dump then!
Fullangr
Loitering Dwarf
Katie'Force
Kables
haha you know what.... that takes far too much energy, i'll just carry on singing "yorkshire and beyond" and counting the White roses at bloodstock
Kayne
.. - - ..
*closes ears* LI LI LI LI i cant here your other songs
and no, i'm not studying here, unfortunatly, i actually live here coz well, parents do and i still cant afford my own place anywhere yet...
and no, i'm not studying here, unfortunatly, i actually live here coz well, parents do and i still cant afford my own place anywhere yet...
Fullangr
Loitering Dwarf
Katie'Force
Kables
Fullangr
Loitering Dwarf
Katie'Force
Kables
BACK ON TOPIC!!!!!
Kiuas and Ponies to Kill need to play bloodstock, two awesome bands, and i know Kiuas played two years ago, but that's TWO YEARS ago, that's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages!!! They're amazing, they need to come back now that I've discovered how amazing they are!!!
off topic - *horn* Yorkshire and beyond *do do do*
Kiuas and Ponies to Kill need to play bloodstock, two awesome bands, and i know Kiuas played two years ago, but that's TWO YEARS ago, that's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages!!! They're amazing, they need to come back now that I've discovered how amazing they are!!!
off topic - *horn* Yorkshire and beyond *do do do*
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