Official Off Topic Thread
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Androz
Lord of the Cheese
Matt
Active Member
Ptah Khnemu said:
hey, I lived there and went to that district. very shitty, but it's hawaii, and hawaii has beaches with scorching hot chicks.
War_Blade
Member
^and gay gun laws
learn some metallica, sure kirk hammet is super overrated and sometimes sloppy, but metallica is great for beginners.
Then go out and buy paul gilberts instructional videos they pwn all!
Prog Maiden said:Since I know most of you guys are guitarists here, I figured this would be a good place to ask. I'm picking up my guitar again (it's been neglected recently) and I'm trying to think of good beginner songs to learn. I'm thinking songs like The Silent Man (or basically any Opeth) would be good not to mention fun to learn, particularly since I don't see myself catching up to any of Dream Theater's more upbeat songs anytime soon.
learn some metallica, sure kirk hammet is super overrated and sometimes sloppy, but metallica is great for beginners.
Then go out and buy paul gilberts instructional videos they pwn all!
Prog Maiden
Member
War_Blade said:
Yeah, I told my boyfriend I want to learn Fade to Black, so that's something we're gonna work on as well as DT's The Silent Man and maybe Opeth's Harvest. Another Day would be a good one as well--though perhaps I should learn it on sax first since that was my primary instrument for 10+ years.
Once I get to a better level, it'll be fun to play guitar harmonies with the boyfriend.
War_Blade
Member
^oh hell yea, learning peace sells was one of the most memorable guitar experances i have.
if you dont know anything, learn a song like One. if it fairly easy and is great for learning alternate picking.
once you have played for a good 6 months and get your grounding, get paul gilberts instructional videos like i said earlier. They will open your vocabulary up, and you will actually be able to jam.
check out these little instructionals from steve vai's website also, a bit advanced for you but, you know... when you think your up for it.
http://vai.com/LittleBlackDots/lessons1984.html
if you dont know anything, learn a song like One. if it fairly easy and is great for learning alternate picking.
once you have played for a good 6 months and get your grounding, get paul gilberts instructional videos like i said earlier. They will open your vocabulary up, and you will actually be able to jam.
check out these little instructionals from steve vai's website also, a bit advanced for you but, you know... when you think your up for it.
http://vai.com/LittleBlackDots/lessons1984.html
J-Dubya 777
It NEVER ends
Prog Maiden said:Since I know most of you guys are guitarists here, I figured this would be a good place to ask. I'm picking up my guitar again (it's been neglected recently) and I'm trying to think of good beginner songs to learn. I'm thinking songs like The Silent Man (or basically any Opeth) would be good not to mention fun to learn, particularly since I don't see myself catching up to any of Dream Theater's more upbeat songs anytime soon.
Depending on how much you've retained, try some AC/DC to get used to changing chords again, they will be the same 3 or 4 chords, but you'll get really good at them!
J-Dubya
War_Blade
Member
RobbM
Another lefty freak...
heh, kinda old. did you see these? Quite funny and stupid at the same time..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hXEiNJN2Ws4
http://youtube.com/watch?v=p_tuLEmWccM&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hywld4xFHiM&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=evTTHS9hwvU
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SKMYeXkYcgs
It might be a good idea to just stop, put your guitar down and sell it on Ebay cause your shit..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hXEiNJN2Ws4
http://youtube.com/watch?v=p_tuLEmWccM&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hywld4xFHiM&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=evTTHS9hwvU
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SKMYeXkYcgs
It might be a good idea to just stop, put your guitar down and sell it on Ebay cause your shit..
War_Blade
Member
lol
my favorite lines.
"I practiced 63 hours a day. I would do this by playing 400 nps and going back in time to get the 63 hours."
"I am your new god, check this shit out. Its amazing"
my favorite lines.
"I practiced 63 hours a day. I would do this by playing 400 nps and going back in time to get the 63 hours."
"I am your new god, check this shit out. Its amazing"
An Idiots Guide to Religions and Philosophies
How do the major religion practioners react when they step into shit?
Confucianism: Confucius says "Sometimes you happen to step into shit;
Taoism: Sometimes you happen to step into shit;
Islam: If you step into shit, it was by Allah`s will;
Buddism: If you step into shit, then thats not REALLY shit;
Catholicism: You stepped into shit because you are a sinner;
Calvinism: You step into shit because you are lazy;
Judaism: Why is it US who step into shit?;
Luteranism: if you stepped into shit Believe and you will never step in it again;
Presbiterianism: If someone has to step into shit, let it be me;
Zen: what is "shit"?;
Jesuits: If you step into shit and noone sees it... does it REALLY stink?
Christian Science: if you stepped into shit, dont worry, it will just go away;
Hedonism: If you stepped into shit - be happy!;
7th Day Adventist: Only on Saturday you wont step into shit;
Hare Krishna: Shit... Nit... Dit.. RAMA LAMA DING DONG;
Rastafarians: Dude, smoke some of this SHIT;
Hinduism: I think I already stepped in this shit once;
Atheism: There is nothing to step into;
Agnosticism: Maybe I did step in it, maybe I didnt;
Stoicism: So I stepped into this shit. So what? I dont care;
Jehovas Witness: Let us into your house and we will explain to you WHY you step into shit.
How do the major religion practioners react when they step into shit?
Confucianism: Confucius says "Sometimes you happen to step into shit;
Taoism: Sometimes you happen to step into shit;
Islam: If you step into shit, it was by Allah`s will;
Buddism: If you step into shit, then thats not REALLY shit;
Catholicism: You stepped into shit because you are a sinner;
Calvinism: You step into shit because you are lazy;
Judaism: Why is it US who step into shit?;
Luteranism: if you stepped into shit Believe and you will never step in it again;
Presbiterianism: If someone has to step into shit, let it be me;
Zen: what is "shit"?;
Jesuits: If you step into shit and noone sees it... does it REALLY stink?
Christian Science: if you stepped into shit, dont worry, it will just go away;
Hedonism: If you stepped into shit - be happy!;
7th Day Adventist: Only on Saturday you wont step into shit;
Hare Krishna: Shit... Nit... Dit.. RAMA LAMA DING DONG;
Rastafarians: Dude, smoke some of this SHIT;
Hinduism: I think I already stepped in this shit once;
Atheism: There is nothing to step into;
Agnosticism: Maybe I did step in it, maybe I didnt;
Stoicism: So I stepped into this shit. So what? I dont care;
Jehovas Witness: Let us into your house and we will explain to you WHY you step into shit.
ThornsOfSorrow
Member
@RobbM: Haha, when I watched that last one, I was sitting here all by myself laughing my ass off. I feel like such a loser now, but it was worth it.
My suggestion - go nuts on classic rock. Zeppelin, Sabbath, and Deep Purple stuff isn't TOO hard, but it'll challenge you enough to improve your playing. That's where a ton of great players started.Prog Maiden said:Since I know most of you guys are guitarists here, I figured this would be a good place to ask. I'm picking up my guitar again (it's been neglected recently) and I'm trying to think of good beginner songs to learn. I'm thinking songs like The Silent Man (or basically any Opeth) would be good not to mention fun to learn, particularly since I don't see myself catching up to any of Dream Theater's more upbeat songs anytime soon.
Speaking of learning guitar stuff, I finally went and learned "Under a Glass Moon!" I've been wanting to for years, but I was kind of afraid to try it, haha. Probably JP's best solo.
SilentRealm
Member
RobbM
Another lefty freak...
Ptah Khnemu said:An Idiots Guide to Religions and Philosophies
How do the major religion practioners react when they step into shit?
Confucianism: Confucius says "Sometimes you happen to step into shit;
Taoism: Sometimes you happen to step into shit;
Islam: If you step into shit, it was by Allah`s will;
Buddism: If you step into shit, then thats not REALLY shit;
Catholicism: You stepped into shit because you are a sinner;
Calvinism: You step into shit because you are lazy;
Judaism: Why is it US who step into shit?;
Luteranism: if you stepped into shit Believe and you will never step in it again;
Presbiterianism: If someone has to step into shit, let it be me;
Zen: what is "shit"?;
Jesuits: If you step into shit and noone sees it... does it REALLY stink?
Christian Science: if you stepped into shit, dont worry, it will just go away;
Hedonism: If you stepped into shit - be happy!;
7th Day Adventist: Only on Saturday you wont step into shit;
Hare Krishna: Shit... Nit... Dit.. RAMA LAMA DING DONG;
Rastafarians: Dude, smoke some of this SHIT;
Hinduism: I think I already stepped in this shit once;
Atheism: There is nothing to step into;
Agnosticism: Maybe I did step in it, maybe I didnt;
Stoicism: So I stepped into this shit. So what? I dont care;
Jehovas Witness: Let us into your house and we will explain to you WHY you step into shit.
The Agnostic one is all wrong, it should be something more along the lines of: "I didn't step in shit because I didn't see it"
Yngvai X
Dark Emperor
the "shit happens" version is much better:
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
Rose Immortal
Spirit of Hope
- Jun 19, 2004
- 1,425
- 10
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In some weird way, that DOES sound like Methodists. I knew some kind of food item would have to be mentioned...in our church we have a lot of jokes about how you should never stand between us Methodists and a food line...
Nemesis_lxix
Drunk Lord's Greasy $@#%*
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