I think that is pretty sad.
Possum, a couple of your PM's have led me to believe you are a reasonable and at least partially sane person.
However, in the course of this thread you are either deliberately being obtuse in a particularly odd and personal fashion, or you are, as Iced suggested, looking for sympathy in some peculiar and might I say most unwelcome fashion.
I might add that, having looked through this thread, you are sadly lacking in souls offering any kind of empathy whatsoever......apart from me, via PM that is.
The more I see of you on this thread though, the more I am concerned at your apparent wish to be confronted, or rather, to confront. Every post in some way seems to be designed, unconsciously, or sub-consciously perhaps, to invite derision, scorn, or disagreement in every respect.
Why do you wish this path of psychic self-destruction?
I advise you to avoid such conflict, especially if what you have suggested is even partially true.