say something about ... yourself!

Enemy242 said:
I don't know if I already posted some of this but man this week is fucking kicking ass! I'm really excited about asking that girl out on friday (really hoping she says yes but if she doesn't it's not the end of the world), I got offered a THIRD job so now I teach muay thai at one gym, am a personal trainer at Bally ,am up for another job teaching muay thai at another gym (with far higher pay than my other one since it's at a super expensive and high end gym in the rich part of the east bay area) and I sold $200 in training today! I have a ton of appointments scheduled, people who are going to buy training confirmed (the 200 is just a start and was paid in full which is always good) and I talked to the label we're going to release our new album on and it's going to be really great, personal and we're even going to get some money to pay for promo for once!

it's pretty crazy how so many months of shit can go by and then one week just starts kicking so much ass, it really reminds me that everything in life is temporary and will change. it's hard to remind myself of that in hard times but it's the truth and it really does help push you through.
Click to expand...

that sounds awesome, good for you! :)
 
Watched my Dad die after a battle with cancer yesterday, quite possibly one of the most distressing things I've ever witnessed. After a while when it was apparent he was just waiting to die and shallowly breathing while spazzing I wanted to punch the nurse in the face and scream at her JUST GIVE HIM EVERYTHING, MORPHINE, ATIVAN, FLEXIRIL, JUST LET HIM GO IN A VELVET SLEEP but they had procedures and all sorts of bullshit. I know its irrational but fuck it just made me mad. I know he wasn't in pain or anything and having his whole family by his side is what he would've wanted but still it all just infuriated me.

Really fucked me up seeing that and him in that condition but I feel a bit better now and even though a lot of it is probably still repressed, I feel it pushes me forward to do everything he'd want me to do. When he saw that my band had a small piece in Terrorizer he was overjoyed and the news of my new jobs in personal training and future success made him really happy so I'm going to push even harder to accomplish everything and more. I'll be a physical therapist, top personal trainer, frontman of a huge metal band; I'm already on my way so it's not just a stupid dream, with this drive I know I can do it for me and to make him proud. R.I.P Dad.
 
Enemy242 said:
Watched my Dad die after a battle with cancer yesterday, quite possibly one of the most distressing things I've ever witnessed. After a while when it was apparent he was just waiting to die and shallowly breathing while spazzing I wanted to punch the nurse in the face and scream at her JUST GIVE HIM EVERYTHING, MORPHINE, ATIVAN, FLEXIRIL, JUST LET HIM GO IN A VELVET SLEEP but they had procedures and all sorts of bullshit. I know its irrational but fuck it just made me mad. I know he wasn't in pain or anything and having his whole family by his side is what he would've wanted but still it all just infuriated me.

Really fucked me up seeing that and him in that condition but I feel a bit better now and even though a lot of it is probably still repressed, I feel it pushes me forward to do everything he'd want me to do. When he saw that my band had a small piece in Terrorizer he was overjoyed and the news of my new jobs in personal training and future success made him really happy so I'm going to push even harder to accomplish everything and more. I'll be a physical therapist, top personal trainer, frontman of a huge metal band; I'm already on my way so it's not just a stupid dream, with this drive I know I can do it for me and to make him proud. R.I.P Dad.
Click to expand...
Bro hugs. Keep doin what you're doin and everything will work out.

RIP Andrew's dad.

Cancer sucks ass, I've lost a few close family members to it also. The one thing about it that kept me from going completely crazy was that at least it gave us all the time to say goodbye while coming to terms with what the very near future holds. The only thing that could make cancer worse (maybe?) is if it acted instantly.

Either way, fuck you cancer. FUCK. YOU.
 
Thanks for the support everyone. What pissed me off most is it DID happen fairly instantly; they thought he'd have about 6 more months to live but my brother called me that morning saying we need to get over to the hospital in the east bay asap because he couldn't breathe and they rushed him to the hospital. We all said goodbye and were there for him until the end but he was delirious and hooked up to all sorts of shit and shaking rapidly as all the organs in his body failed; within 24 hours he went from decent (in terms of cancer) to just a matter of time before he died. Hopefully he heard our words and after all the morphine kicked in he was peaceful and I take solace knowing that he went out relatively painlessly with his whole family around him for the whole time instead of people who die in horribly painful ways alone.
 
Enemy242 said:
Watched my Dad die after a battle with cancer yesterday, quite possibly one of the most distressing things I've ever witnessed. After a while when it was apparent he was just waiting to die and shallowly breathing while spazzing I wanted to punch the nurse in the face and scream at her JUST GIVE HIM EVERYTHING, MORPHINE, ATIVAN, FLEXIRIL, JUST LET HIM GO IN A VELVET SLEEP but they had procedures and all sorts of bullshit. I know its irrational but fuck it just made me mad. I know he wasn't in pain or anything and having his whole family by his side is what he would've wanted but still it all just infuriated me.

Really fucked me up seeing that and him in that condition but I feel a bit better now and even though a lot of it is probably still repressed, I feel it pushes me forward to do everything he'd want me to do. When he saw that my band had a small piece in Terrorizer he was overjoyed and the news of my new jobs in personal training and future success made him really happy so I'm going to push even harder to accomplish everything and more. I'll be a physical therapist, top personal trainer, frontman of a huge metal band; I'm already on my way so it's not just a stupid dream, with this drive I know I can do it for me and to make him proud. R.I.P Dad.
Click to expand...

Now THIS is how you turn a big bummer into a positive. Sorry to hear about it, but glad to see you're motivated for the future.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Andrew. It's a hard thing to watch...I bet he was glad to have you with him in the end. *hugs*
 
Sorry Andrew... I really am. I can't imagine having to witness that, and I really do dread the day it happens. I hope it makes you a stronger person, and that you seek the beauty in life as an aftermath of the sad. Grieve and let go, then go live your life. That's some of the best advice I've ever received.
 
El Stormo said:
Sorry to hear that man, but you becoming more determined to achieve your goals in life because of him would be something a father would be proud of.
Click to expand...

Anvil said:
Sorry Andrew... I really am. I can't imagine having to witness that, and I really do dread the day it happens. I hope it makes you a stronger person, and that you seek the beauty in life as an aftermath of the sad. Grieve and let go, then go live your life. That's some of the best advice I've ever received.
Click to expand...


^ I join this.

My condolences Andrew.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

dreaming neon darkspot
post something!
Replies
6
Views
434
Nevermore
Det Som Engang Var
D
megamore
Introduce yourself fucks...
Replies
77
Views
2K
Nevermore
mReEtTaIlRsEkD
M
DarkNoise
say something about what the forumer above you is reading
Replies
26
Views
767
Nevermore
derek
D
w0es
Post Something About the Person Above You
Replies
3K
Views
60K
Bloodbath
stefan86
S
T
Oh look, I'm the only one here.........
Replies
20
Views
360
Nevermore
Gums
G
Top Bottom
Back