Alright, I am not laughing at anyone with a drug problem (after all, I had a drug problem), but I went to a meeting today, since my 4 year anniversary of being clean passed a few weeks ago, and I saw like 9 people from the group I was in when I first went through rehab, there were 17 people in the group including myself. The 9 people I saw are still junkies, and half of them didn't even remember me, and the other 7 who I did not see, are dead.
That sounds so cliche, but it really put things into perspective for me. So many people have no idea who I was, people I went to high school with, and even some of my "close" friends never had any idea. It's like, part of me wonder whether or not they had an idea but just never wanted to "believe" that their "friend" was a junkie.
And I guess because I am in a way "embarrassed" about who I was and what I did, and afraid that people are going to judge me, even you guys that I always deny myself of being proud.
So... after seeing how my group has turned out, and realizing that out of 17 people, who all were entering treatment around the same time, that four years later, I'm the only single one who hasn't relapsed, and who haven't died, either related to overdose, or complications from their addictions.
So, right now, I'm patting myself on the back, and just really pleased. Sorry to sound pretentious about it, but I'm rather proud haha.
