Sex Tranquillity

@atlantis: I just like to believe that after the first years of puberty criteria for selecting a partner change from lust to a more articulate appreciation of the person. In other words, I like to believe that sooner or later someone will take a serious interest in me, seen how I've experimented the two wrong combinations - guys who did not want to go out with me because I did not provoke lust in them and guys who wanted to go out with me just because I inspired their senses for those particular 15 minutes or hours or days. Since the no lust added barrier is the one who's kept me from the men I really liked - one even said to me "I don't want to go out with you because everything is perfect in our relationship but my dick just does not get hard when I think of you" - in the past, I like to think those things... how to put it? _change_. Not as in his dick gets hard every time he sees me, as in you're not rejecting a person on the basis of what your dick does or does not do in situations that have nowt to do with intimacy, like sitting in a university building or whatever.

hyena (dicks are dicks)
 
Dick are not dicks, they come in all shapes and sizes, sometimes they are gigantically scary. Im not a schfontz expert, and im glad.

Lust is always prevalent in any relationship in which you are sexually attracted to the other person, alot of people confuse lust for love, I know I did when I was younger, but its something you grow out of. I still lust as does almost everyone else in the world, but I can tell the differance between love and lust, ive been in lust and ive been in love, there is a noticable differance.

Nick(eyes on your own)
 
Ehmm... I should be sleeping by now (as I'm going to have a busy day tomorrow), but this thread is too interesting to be ignored and I think I'm not going to disconnect now that I can finally stay online for longer than a minute.

About this love / lust thing: I guess I have never been in love - or at least I hope none of the short relationships I have had through my 23 years of life have been "love", for none of them was really special for me. So, I'm kind of speaking from the POW of an unexperienced romanticer - which means that very little I say has anything to do with the reality you live in.

Anyway, lust is something I'm very familiar with; I experience it every day - and get rid of it with a shake of hand :rolleyes:. It is nothing special, nothing new, nothing exciting. There are people I feel lust for - and being what I am - meeting them has absolutely no effect on my daily life. It might make me think of them (instead of someone else) for those couple of minutes, but that's it. In short, lust is a simple thing that has no true meaning in my life.

Then, on the other hand, love is something very complicated for me (possible due to the aforementioned reason that I have never experienced it). I somehow see it spesifically as a unifying bond between two persons - a thing that supersedes all other humane "links" between people, because of it's pure intensity. Love is understanding - knowing who you are related to that other and vice versa. In my mind love can pass and is not affected by sexual preferences, or other feelings (deep hate for example).

I never use the verb to love when I'm speaking of myself. I do not love anyone - not my parents, not my brother, not my best friends. To care, is what I do - I care about a lot of people, especially those who are close to me. But saying that I loved them... it would kind of ruin the whole word for me. If my caring of my mother means I love her, do I also love the fifteen year old boy I'm helping on the streets one night, while he spits on my face? I believe I don't. I know I don't. That's "just" caring. And I don't think love is just a "higher level of caring" or something.

Btw, although I'm purely heterosexual in physical terms (probably just do to cultural things - a vast majority of people would actually be bisexual, if our cultures wouldn't shape us like this), I care a great deal more of the men I know than of the women. There are no women I'd care more about than the five best male friends of mine (or, actually, there is one, but she is very special - I'll tell of her later...) and I don't think there will ever be! If I will find the love of my life, it doesn't matter - for love is not caring, IMHO.

Oh, and I second Atlantis' opinion about people changing and emotions changing and close relationships fading away - that's only natural to us two-legged, for we change in all other ways as well through our lives. Contradicting myself with my romantic views of love above? Well, yes. But as I said, love is something I can only image for now, and imaginations tend to contradict with reality...

-Villain (tired, exhausted - but still online! :) )
 
Villain, sorry if I sort of spoil the atmosphere induced by your very interesting message, but it's 2:20 am and I cannot quite reply now... I'd like to comment on this though:

Originally posted by Wanderingblade
Thats what foreplay is for, making dicks go hard. No one wants to think about someone and have their dick go hard all the time, it would get inconvinent
Click to expand...

As much as I agree about the "inconvenience" of a dick going hard all the time, this must be the single most chauvinistic sentence I've ever read :lol: or more probably another proof of the difference between men and women. I never, ever for a moment thought that foreplay was something that should turn *the guy* on - my default assumption was that guys get hard-ons after the third kiss or so, whereas it's a bit uncommon that a girl be lubricated enough for intercourse at that point, therefore proper foreplay is something that should get *the girl* ready. It has one hell of effect to discover that something you had been thinking all along is not an universal truth, so thanks for opening my eyes: some boys actually think that foreplay is useful for them as well! wow! happy news!

hyena (totally enlightened. honest):cool:
 
Hyena, Villain and all of you I admire you, I love you, I envy you so much, who are able to make a decent speech at infamous hours, while I am here so drunk and dumb not to find the courage to open the mail box because then I have to read the mails........

on my knees-
at.
 
aww, come on, foreplay is the best thing in life except maybe for a new dt record. i'm not that interested in the relative position or speed of my penis, it's just too darn fun to be involved in foreplays anyway. i'm really happy if one other individual gets lubricated because of foreplays, but imo they don't need any better reason to exist than just themselves.
and i think foreplays are about lust, but they might as well be about caring, and with some effort on both parts, even about love.

rahvin. (intercourse of nature)
 
Foreplay is fun, there are plenty of other ways to get off other than sex, I usually dont have sex with people unless im in love with them, I say usually b/c im a human and fuck up sometimes, so to speak:p . Sex is the ultimate physical untiy between two people short of some kind of odd surgery. So I save it for special people.

Nick(keeps it in his pants)
 
rahvin, foreplay is collective singular. doesn't need a s. and i tend to see it as more cabout caring and love then about lust - as in lust _is born from caring and love_, ie THE WAY it should be.

hyena (nothing to bu, nothing to bubu)
 
Originally posted by rahvin


not even many foreplay sessions? you know, like a flock of seagulls... but maybe i'm better off not mentioning animals in a thread about sex anyway. ;)

rahvin.
Click to expand...

yeah, especially _seagulls_. i cannot really see the point :lol:

hyena (fly)
 
Originally posted by hyena

this must be the single most chauvinistic sentence I've ever read :lol:
Click to expand...

Thanks, I'm blushing :p

I'd like to point out my knowledge of things romantical/sexual is entirely theoretical, so I'm willing to learn. I stand corrected on the proper use of foreplay.

'Blade (carry on)
 
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!

tonight i scored :) :) :)

well done, well done, well done - thanks to rahvin and wolfy who stood me up for tonight, i decided to go out with some local friends since i could not bear any abstinence from alcohol anymore. there's one guy amongst them, named andrea, whom i've always liked, but failed to establish a connection - any connection. tonight, unbelievably, he just seemed really interested in my job, what i'd been doing in the past 10 years, and the new punkreas record, and before i could even know what the hell was happening we were kissing. this is a victory for self-esteem if anything, because the guy is incredibly cute. i'm not really interested, but this is fun, so i might see him again in some days, not tomorrow possibly since i must keep up the image of someone who works really hard, and i must do indeed aside from the image, but this is oh so happy news! :tickled:

hyena (goal!)
 
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