Solitude is impractical, yet society is fatal!

[Reign in Acai]

I'm driving to the grocery store this evening, and no less than 30 seconds out of the door I'm engulfed in a rage. Has anyone here ever been on the receiving end of the guppy? This is when you're vehicular offense is met with a pantomime of far-flung fellatio. Well after this geezer prarie dogged the vehicle ahead of him, defiantly refusing to yield to my 15 m.p.h California roll, he greeted me with the aforementioned gesture. And so the day had begun...

Still that wasn't as bad as last week, when a truck driver ran a "2secs in to the yellow" stop light in his semi, and met my wtf wrist motion with a phantom masturbatory F-U. These earthquakes really need to rumble north for the spring. Hay chingado!!!


With all digressions aside, I make my way to the grocery store, as my new sprung New Year's resolution is to become a gourmand of the highest esteem. 2oz of Pure Vanilla Extract for $8? I could buy a sixer of Pyramid Hefe for such coinage! As I'm perusing the various brands at my disposal, some hipster with adipose under-arms harks behind me. "Do you mind moving your basket?" "Uhhhh what the hell lady?", prances in my mind as I kindly give her bulbous exterior thoroughfare to the Entenmann's aisle. This seriously grabbed my goat, as she could have easily pushed my cart aside just as easy as I. Better yet, she could have parked her cart, walked a dozen feet, gathered what she wished to purchase, and moseyed it on back to her basket on wheels, leaving me to deal with the conundrum that I had been dealing with at point of disruption.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

And if she had just shoved your cart out of the way then you would have thought "What the hell lady? Couldn't you have just kindly asked me to move it?" If you block the aisle with your cart then you need to move it. Aisle blockers who are oblivious to what they are doing make me very angry. I almost ripped some keys off my keyboard just thinking about it :zombie:

 

[Reign in Acai]

There's always a way in which you can tactfully approach an obstacle. If she moved my cart gingerly to the side and proceeded forward, I wouldn't have even taken heed, as I was completely encapsulated by the decision of which extract to purchase. It all boils down to the condescension that arose in her delivery, plus the chosen nomenclature.

"Uh hum, can you move your cart?"
Translation: FUCK YOU

What she should have said.
"Excuse me" or "Pardon".

This would have taken me out of my fogged state, leading me to push my cart out of the way without directly being asked to do so. It's fucking social etiquette! If I see two people in one aisle with carts, I will not proceed down the aisle with a third cart, this creates a "clusterfuck"! In this case, her derriere was the third cart!

 

[Plastic Nathrakh]

gingerly

I use this word far too often.

 

[EricT]

These earthquakes really need to rumble north for the spring.

If it eases your worries, Dr. Michio Kaku predicts the next 8.x+ earthquake will be near LA.

 

[Krilons Resa]

I'm driving to the grocery store this evening, and no less than 30 seconds out of the door I'm engulfed in a rage. Has anyone here ever been on the receiving end of the guppy? This is when you're vehicular offense is met with a pantomime of far-flung fellatio. Well after this geezer prarie dogged the vehicle ahead of him, defiantly refusing to yield to my 15 m.p.h California roll, he greeted me with the aforementioned gesture. And so the day had begun...

I have no idea what this means.

It all boils down to the condescension that arose in her delivery, plus the chosen nomenclature.

"Uh hum, can you move your cart?"
Translation: FUCK YOU

 

[Reign in Acai]

I have no idea what this means.

I guess you had to be there.

If it eases your worries, Dr. Michio Kaku predicts the next 8.x+ earthquake will be near LA.

I've been hearing this since I was wearing Huggies. "When will the big one hit? yadda yadda." Seismologists know about as about earthquakes, as a meteorologist knows about the rain."

"The sky is looking very caliginous this afternoon, I contest there may be rain!"
"Two 8.0+ Earthquakes a month apart, I say the next big one will be in the heart of quake country!"


Heh

 

[neal]

honestly, if someone gave me either the jerk-off or blow-job hand motions in a traffic situation i would probably just laugh at that ridiculous jackass. its a completely lame and stupid way to try to tell someone Fuck You, they're obviously idiots and not worth getting angry over.

 

[swizzlenuts]

If it eases your worries, Dr. Michio Kaku predicts the next 8.x+ earthquake will be near LA.

It's just an earthquake machine, man.

 

[EricT]

It's just an earthquake machine, man.

Large Hadron Collider? More like Large Collide Buildings With Minorities.

 

[EricT]

^HAARP controls my brain and told me to make that poor attempt at a joke.

 

[Dick Sirloin]

RiA: your prose has become stilted and obtuse. Is there something amiss?

 

[einride]

what were you planning to do with the PURE VANILLA EXTRACT

 

[Reign in Acai]

Use it to make some bomb diggity french toast.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

Did you end up buying Watkins pure vanilla extract?

 

[Reign in Acai]

I ended up getting no extract due to the grand offense committed against me (in two parts).

A) The whore bag who lacked social grace
B) The exorbitant price

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

Aisle blocking is a greater offense than asking someone to not block the aisle! You (I) see enough and that shit and yeah, when someone is blocking the aisle you (I) automatically think "gtfoothegrocerystore!"

A little extract goes a long way, though, so it's not as pricey as it seems.

 

[lurch70]

With all digressions aside, I make my way to the grocery store, as my new sprung New Year's resolution is to become a gourmand of the highest esteem. 2oz of Pure Vanilla Extract for $8? I could buy a sixer of Pyramid Hefe for such coinage! As I'm perusing the various brands at my disposal, some hipster with adipose under-arms harks behind me. "Do you mind moving your basket?" "Uhhhh what the hell lady?", prances in my mind as I kindly give her bulbous exterior thoroughfare to the Entenmann's aisle. This seriously grabbed my goat, as she could have easily pushed my cart aside just as easy as I. Better yet, she could have parked her cart, walked a dozen feet, gathered what she wished to purchase, and moseyed it on back to her basket on wheels, leaving me to deal with the conundrum that I had been dealing with at point of disruption.

I like how trivial mundane things bother you to the point that they merit prose.

 

[Demilich]

Buy vanilla beans instead of extract! Even MORE expensive!!

I got a multipack of them for xmas

 

[Chromatose]

Buy vanilla beans instead of extract! Even MORE expensive!!

I got a multipack of them for xmas

Except that it's easy to make a lottttttttttttt of extract from them.