The "Ask Undefined" Thread

My vehicle's battery just died like 1/4 of a mile from my house. I'm gonna have to move it closer to my house this morning. Did I get owned or what?
 
Today one of my co-workers told me his wife is 4 months pregnant. I was able to not be a tiny bit disappointed and not let my heart be shattered in a million pieces since now I more than officially will never have a chance with that man, and simply be genuinely happy for them both. Am I growing up?

(He is the hottest and coolest man I have ever met, btw, and all the boys and girls at work want to get in his pants)