The Great Depression/Butthurt thread

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Ah, the enslavement continues <3

So I already cant do shoping on Sundays and now with the new laws employers might force you to do overtime (unpaid) when you go grab a tea / coffee, take a piss or whatever. What next, "you caughed too many times today, so your hand werent on the keyboard, you stay 30 min longer".


I guess fuck me for needing to drink and then get rid of it after some time.

I miss ancient times. Cathofucks in colloseum, devoured by wild beasts.
 
Critically hit by nostalgia. In a bad way.

Found my old CDs with backups of my hard drive. On one of them I found a photo of me and 3 of my besties from 2001, it was shot during some event in school.

And I dont have contact in any of them since forever. I dont even know if they are alive.

But look, there is also a photo of my entire class. And then I realise more. I recognize maybe half of these people. I spent 6 years with them, and can recognize only half. And obviously I could name few of them. 6 years, like it never happened. When I try hard enough I can remember some random events, but at this point i can only assume its fake memories.

It's actually pretty fucking depressing if you ask me. All I could remember that I bit this one chick for something, the other one was my arch enemy, this guy stinked like a dumpster, and this guy borrowed me his hair gel and I used half of it to look like Vegeta from dragonball.

6 years, maybe 10 minutes worth of memories. Terrible deal.

Fuck all of this.
 
Working on one last Sleepwalkers song that I've had massive writers block on.

Today I finally got some inspiration due to a bad mood. Wrote a bunch of lyrics, recorded a scratch track, but something is kind of fucking me up.

At what point do lyrics become too straight forward and honest that it becomes sappy or emo sounding? This is something of a quandry in Doom Metal, you don't want to sound like an angsty little bitch whining about life, but the music still requires a certain degree of emotion. I have always preferred somewhat vague lyrics that can be interpreted by the individual and they can find meaning in the song that applies to their own lives, and most of what I write, while not particularly good, doesn't shove anything in your face.

This was something that came up when I was doing a cover of Woods of Ypres, his lyrics were always so to the point and unrelentingly honest, but I've heard people say the lyrics sound whiny and pathetic. At the same time, it's so open and vulnerable that other people appreciated them and and it helped them cope with those same feelings.

Fuck I don't know. I finally found a vocal arrangement that doesn't make me want to throw my speakers, but it came with lyrics that are uncomfortable. The EP was easier, I didn't even write the lyrics, just recorded the vocals. I just wanna do the yell.

Music sucks, life sucks, everything sucks.
 
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When I wrote lyrics for my never to be released concept album because im fucking lazy i always tried to have two meanings to them.

1. Obviously to tell the story how I intended it, about a woman, who did some ritual for teh lulz, but ended up summoning the entity, who ended up "possessing" her after destroying her mentality. It was pretty straightforward, track 1 summoning instrumental, track 2 entity appears, track 3 entity does mindfuckery and tricks grill into killing her boy, track 4 chick goes from "oh no my love" to "oh shit gotta hide the body", track 5 guilt, track 6 mental torture until weak enough to make her obedient bitch

2. But lyrics were not that straightforward. Sure, they told a personal story of a random chick, but nothing stops you to interpet it as, i dont know, someone pondering about their past, feeling fear, guilt and eventually being overwhelmed by all of this.


When I tried going with very straightforward lyrics they were easy as fuck to make, but it sounded way to lame for me. It still probably is lame as fuck, but not instantly.

So I'd go with somewhat "deeper" lyrics.
 
I like it better when it's somewhat vague, so that the listener than interpret it. If it's too straightforward then yes, people who've been through the exact same experience will relate, but most wont.
I bet 99% of the lyrics I like are about something else than I imagine it entirely, but that's ok because they mean something to me in the way I interpreted them in the first place.
 
Poletards in their home country about monuments of other nationalities:
"DESTROY THIS, IT'S NOT OUR HISTORY, FUCK XXXXXXX, POLAN STRONK"

poletards when USA wants to temporarily store some silly polish monument in storage:
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"


Stay strong New Jersey, don't let eastern-european minority waste dictate what you need to do.
 
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New European Law about privacy and now since the beginning of May i am swarmed with emails and real mail informing me about new law and new policies from every website / thing I was registered to.

Around 70 mails deleted this week alone.
 
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Illegal dump has been burning for 12 hours already. Now whole sky is black and there is no sun to be seen. It reeks.

TL:DR it's hot and I have to have my windows closed and breath in cancer anyway because #polacks
 
Yea, there is a lot of metal and toxins in my lungs right now. Day third, still shouldnt open windows. The gray fog is slowly fading away but holy shit do I want to sue the city.
 
Eh, it often works, but takes a lot of time. Someone on our street sued the city for not giving a single fuck about the road, somebody slipped and they won.
But it was before government took control over jurisdiction, you wont ever win anything that means less money for the city / country and youre gonna go to jail for some meaningless shit if you are not known for your support of the ruling retards. There isnt a week / month you dont hear about judges having disciplinary actions against them for not ruling according to government's will.

But also because of that I want to sue so hard. Be a martyr, when inevitably after my suit my finances get controlled and maybe police will ride my home and check my hard drives.
 
Poland sounds shitty. My neighbours are Polish and every time the subject comes up they rant about how much they hated basically everything there. Everything from crazy ass drivers to people that blatantly and openly ignore the laws and are allowed to profit for it. Never heard anything about mass trash burning but I think there should be hell to pay for endangering people's health and well-being.

Then again the Canadian government has allowed rich assholes to privatize resources and services that should be publicly owned, and there are people that have to choose if they want to eat or have hydro because you can't afford both without multiple incomes... So I guess that's bullshit too... Fuck this greedy world and the assholes that ruin it for everyone.
 
Poland always was shitty, then 3 years ago it became even shittier when some scum realised, they can offer the cockroaches equivalent of 130 dollars monthly, win the election thanks to that and maintain high support while punching puppies.

Nowadays we live in a strange world, where government and their supporters hate communists, but are literally communists and hate nazis while literally being facists. Only poorland can create a perfect mix of commie and nazi.

Money is running out? Better raise taxes for "those filthy rich commie bastards who hate poland and are being paid by russians and/or Soros".
Do something bad? It's the fault of the previous government and/or previous government did the same.
You don't believe us? Here, have more money (were not actually giving you any, but since you are retarded you think we do).


And yeah, our drivers are basically russians in better cars. No respect to other whatsoever. And it applies to not only drivers but whole population. Since I moved out to suburban area, where your shit doesnt dissappear automaticaly and you have to call this fancy vehicle once a month to pump it out for you somehow every now and then I have to breath the shit. I'd say 1/3 of the neighbours here can't be bothered to spent 30 bucks a month, better dump it in the surroundings and let others suffer. It's only scorching hot outside, I dont need my windows open anyways.

Littering, smoking in public places I could go on and on and on. Polacks are hypocrites, and while I joked about nuking poland for years I fucking mean it recently. I am a racist, but there is no other nation or race i hate more than polacks.
 
Apparently polacks finally found a worthy enemy and are killing fucking seals.

By tying bricks to their necks, this happened few days ago

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And today they found another with smashed head. Daily reminder to nuke this shithole :)
 
Many people confuse me for a mature and well adjusted adult because I'm polite, stoic, kind, and well-spoken.

Little do they know, I am just an amalgamation of weird traits covered in a very efficient social deception. Most people like me and trust me, yet no one is able to get close.

People often think I'm intelligent and comment on how I seem to have it together, I've even been called wasted talent. I am frequently asked for advice, and everywhere I've worked people would turn to me when everything went to hell and they needed a compass to restore order. But actually, I'm a bit of a dumbass with no direction and crippling anxiety that stops me from connecting to anyone on an intimate level. I am chaos incarnate inside.

I am alone and I probably always will be. Even my closest friends don't really know me anymore. I think maybe it's because there isn't much to know. I'm a weird dude that is interested in stuff that most people don't care about, stuck in a menial job and environment that doesn't attract people with my interests. I've been alone for most of my life, with brief moments that flirt with the possibility of connection. At the end of the day though, there is always a wall, or maybe a piece of me that's missing, and it completely cuts me off from the deeper world that seems to bind everyone else together.

Sometimes I can't tell if it's awesome or utterly soul crushing. I guess that depends on how much I allow myself to feel.

Stick that in your Doom pipe and smoke it.
 
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Well, I feel attacked because it's literally me + my looks are 3/10.

Had some friends during childhood years, when they moved out i didnt find anyone new, and the last one I have I visit rarely and I dont think we know each other anymore. Now when I went back to university for a while I've found one guy, but I doubt its ever gonna be friendship, because I dont think im capable of this anymore. Just sharing memes and talking about similiar interests.

Will I die alone? It depends. I'm not gonna lie, that if I could afford lifelike android that doesnt even have to be highly intelligent I'd buy it, just to have someone to open my mouth once in a while.

I just wish I could pinpoint the moment I became this disaster. Sure, I never was a party spirit, but past few years I just completely lost it. Recently we had intergration party at work, I thought I was having some moderate fun, but realised I was pretending to have fun.

Which brings me to the next point, I don't really feel anything nowadays, maybe except some minor hatred towards people I have to interact with. Maybe that's why I'm constantly searching for media that would make me feel. Books dont anymore, so sometimes I'm granted the priviligied of "feeling" from games or movies/series/chinese cartoons. Although finding anything is like looking for a diamond in the pile of shit, especially with movies and chinese cartoons.

So yea :)
 
No idea why I typed all that. It started as a self-deprecating joke and turned into melodramatic confessional. I wasn't at all depressed or anything, it was sort of a freeflowing analytical thing happening... I thought of deleting it when I woke up but it's truthful and somewhat sobering I guess.

I am capable of forcing basic bonds and getting laid if I really need a meaningless outlet, I just feel like I'm empty at my core and utterly lost, like I don't belong here at all. I dunno, I'm just weird I guess :lol:.
 
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