The Nevermore joke thread
- Thread starter Profanity
- Start date
Why is listening to Nevermore better than listening to your gran?
because you can listen to it time after time and still gain the same amount of pleasure from it.
because you can listen to it time after time and still gain the same amount of pleasure from it.
Brooks
Eyes Wide Open
How many members of Nevermore does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, cause more than one person screwing in a lightbulb is a ridiculous notion to begin with!
Why did Warrel Dane cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why does Steve Smyth have a 'y' in his last name?
Cause thats how you spell Smyth!
Just one, cause more than one person screwing in a lightbulb is a ridiculous notion to begin with!
Why did Warrel Dane cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why does Steve Smyth have a 'y' in his last name?
Cause thats how you spell Smyth!
Why is Steve's surname spelled Smyth?
because he's a musical Smith.
You're a dumbass if you don't get that joke.
because he's a musical Smith.
You're a dumbass if you don't get that joke.
Brooks
Eyes Wide Open
Profanity said:Why is Steve's surname spelled Smyth?
because he's a musical Smith.
You're a dumbass if you don't get that joke.
My joke was funnier.
Kvlt Wench
sews no mercy
Stealer of Dreams said:This thread is death.
I don't know whether that's a compliment or insult to Nevermore.
replicated
Threadkiller
Decadancer
Neon (Black) Knight
Warrel Dane, Bruce Dickinson and Ozzy Osbourne are out in a small boat fishing in the middle of a lake.
Suddenly a storm comes up, shaking the boat like crazy and threatening to pitch them all into the deep, black waters.
Bruce and Ozzy are confused as to what to do, and then Warrel says "it's all right, I'll just walk across the water back to the shore," and gets out of the boat and does exactly that.
Bruce then says "yes, that's right, walk across the water back to shore," and similarly steps out of the boat and walks across the water back to dry land.
Ozzy clambers up and slurs "unyj unyj unyj, Sharon said I'm the godfatherr or metorl, if they can do it then so can I!" and steps off the side of the boat, straight into the icy black waters and sinks blubbering to the bottom.
As Bruce and Warrel are walking off down the road, Bruce says to Warrel "do you think we should've told him about the stepping stones?"
"What stepping stones?" Warrel replies.
Suddenly a storm comes up, shaking the boat like crazy and threatening to pitch them all into the deep, black waters.
Bruce and Ozzy are confused as to what to do, and then Warrel says "it's all right, I'll just walk across the water back to the shore," and gets out of the boat and does exactly that.
Bruce then says "yes, that's right, walk across the water back to shore," and similarly steps out of the boat and walks across the water back to dry land.
Ozzy clambers up and slurs "unyj unyj unyj, Sharon said I'm the godfatherr or metorl, if they can do it then so can I!" and steps off the side of the boat, straight into the icy black waters and sinks blubbering to the bottom.
As Bruce and Warrel are walking off down the road, Bruce says to Warrel "do you think we should've told him about the stepping stones?"
"What stepping stones?" Warrel replies.
Cephalic Liquidity
Observer
- Dec 24, 2003
- 31
- 0
- 6
I don't have any jokes about bendovermore. Or any about about Eversnore and their fans, the nevermorons.
Decadancer
Neon (Black) Knight
The Sorrowed Man, the Heart Collector, The Voyager, the Lotus Eaters and the River Dragon were all sitting around a table in a pub having a couple of beers.
"I am the Voyager," said the Voyager, glancing momentarily at and then back away from the opposite end of the table, where the River Dragon was grinning leeringly at the three disturbed looking Lotus Eaters beside him and making some very suspicious movements. "I have tasted pleasures of the flesh, and drunk the pleasures of the mind," The Voyager finished.
The Sorrowed Man shook his head. "Pray that I will live forever," he said sadly. "The sorrowed man will not be me. Today I'll change my life forever, for what I've seen must surely be."
The Heart Collector nodded his head in empathy. "Nevermore to feel the pain," the heart collector sang. "And I won't be feeling hollow for so long."
At this, there was a sudden flurry of movement at the far end of the table. The Lotus Eaters came crashing backwards, falling to the floor almost as one, wiping at their clothes frantically like madmen.
"Save us from the flood," they wailed. "Washed away, we drown."
"The Lotus Eaters cry," The Sorrowed Man said, raising his eyebrows.
The Voyager shrugged and got up and walked around to the other end of the table, where the River Dragon was leaning back in chair with a leering, shit-eating grin on his face, lighting a cigarette. After a quick glance down at the River Dragon, and the three others on the floor, the Voyager walked back to his two companions with a sour look on his face and his hand over his mouth.
The Sorrowed Man and the Heart Collector looked at him quizically. What was wrong?
The Voyager looked at them with an expression of pure horror. "The River Dragon has come."
(With apologies to The Sanity Assassin, the Dog, all of those pigs, the Poet, the Prophet in the Pit... and the Tianenmen Man, of course, who had other plans. Or so I've been told.)
"I am the Voyager," said the Voyager, glancing momentarily at and then back away from the opposite end of the table, where the River Dragon was grinning leeringly at the three disturbed looking Lotus Eaters beside him and making some very suspicious movements. "I have tasted pleasures of the flesh, and drunk the pleasures of the mind," The Voyager finished.
The Sorrowed Man shook his head. "Pray that I will live forever," he said sadly. "The sorrowed man will not be me. Today I'll change my life forever, for what I've seen must surely be."
The Heart Collector nodded his head in empathy. "Nevermore to feel the pain," the heart collector sang. "And I won't be feeling hollow for so long."
At this, there was a sudden flurry of movement at the far end of the table. The Lotus Eaters came crashing backwards, falling to the floor almost as one, wiping at their clothes frantically like madmen.
"Save us from the flood," they wailed. "Washed away, we drown."
"The Lotus Eaters cry," The Sorrowed Man said, raising his eyebrows.
The Voyager shrugged and got up and walked around to the other end of the table, where the River Dragon was leaning back in chair with a leering, shit-eating grin on his face, lighting a cigarette. After a quick glance down at the River Dragon, and the three others on the floor, the Voyager walked back to his two companions with a sour look on his face and his hand over his mouth.
The Sorrowed Man and the Heart Collector looked at him quizically. What was wrong?
The Voyager looked at them with an expression of pure horror. "The River Dragon has come."
(With apologies to The Sanity Assassin, the Dog, all of those pigs, the Poet, the Prophet in the Pit... and the Tianenmen Man, of course, who had other plans. Or so I've been told.)
Jody42147
Downtrodden
replicated
Threadkiller
Why is Cara so much better than Nevermore?
because she travels to concerts in a car whereas Nevermore never get there.
ps - sorry to use you in a joke Cara.
because she travels to concerts in a car whereas Nevermore never get there.
ps - sorry to use you in a joke Cara.
