The Official "Help Zane-X Find A Woman" thread!!!!

[ZANEX]

O.K. I'm asking all "Neverheadz" to help me find my next "lover/soul mate". I've caught HELL for "hitting" on Isabel & thinking "firewalkjen" was having her period and so on, etc... Therefore, I'm asking for suggestions from all of you.

I have a myspace page www.myspace.com.zane_voice_of_the_soul. For pictures, info, etc...

So, I guess my ultimate mate would have to like the same bands as myself and be open-minded about music. Like to go to concerts and like to watch movies, college basketball, football, etc... I don't like women that wear alot of make-up and are "plastic". I basically like women that like to talk about relevant subjects/current events, music, good food, etc... I don't like women who are plastic and materialistic and demanding. Not to be rude but I like a women who would like to have sex "in a field, car, elevator, bathroom, etc..." Extra points for a lady who likes Nevermore, Coors Light, Pizza, Horror Movies, and Family Guy/Metalocalypse.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

ZANE-X

 

[Captain Beard]

Step 1: Always ensure they're 18.

Step 2: Don't ask about menses unless you speak to them often enough they know you're not a pervert.

Step 3: This probably isn't the board to ask, unless you want the advice of Derick and Cara.

 

[EricT]

Would you fuck in a Port-A-Potty?

 

[EricT]

And make your myspace unprivate, for fucks sake!

 

[Söy]

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=mail+order+brides

 

[ZANEX]

Step 2: Don't ask about menses unless you speak to them often enough they know you're not a pervert.

Another thread coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Captain Beard]

Russian mail order brides!

Edit: I swear the more he drinks the more threads we get.

 

[Söy]

heh

for further lulz look at the goodwife.com link i think it's about the 3rd or 4th one down...

 

[Lunar Still]

Zane, aren't you married?

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

Step 1: Adhere to the Muslim faith
Step 2: Die

That's probably the easiest way, next to investing in prostitution.

 

[Captain Beard]

I don't think I could ever grow the balls to try something like that, its scary enough a lady would mail herself to a random husband, but that the guy would PAY for her?

 

[ZANEX]

Zane, aren't you married?

I've been engaged twice, but SHIT HAPPENS. I was engaged to Shannon, Iann's mother, and still love her dearly, but we have our differences. Hopefully we can get back together. (Been together Off/On for 11 years.)
Zane

 

[Will Bozarth]

Step 3: This probably isn't the board to ask, unless you want the advice of Derick and Cara.

*ahem*

 

[Will Bozarth]

I was engaged to my son

You ARE from the south aren't ya?!?!

all kidding aside, check out www.match.com or similar sites! I found a few people on those kinds of sites, but they just wound up either not working out or being too ugly (surprise surprise)

 

[Captain Beard]

*ahem*

I meant stable, healthy relationships.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

Step 3: This probably isn't the board to ask, unless you want the advice of Derick and Cara.

*ahem*

 

[Captain Beard]

And you have good advice on long lasting relationships with women how?

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

I just meant Eric and I are in a very meaningful relationship and we met on the board.

 

[Captain Beard]

He wants a woman, not a man.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

True love knows no bounds!