i had one client, a few years back, that caused me to blow up after a time of working for him. i did more for that guy for less than anyone ever had before or has since.... and he shat on my head, used and abused our relationship, and set about systematically trying to cause me every kind of trouble imaginable in the aftermath.... never happened to me before, or since.... and i lost it. the situation was so new to me... i had only ever had people i had done so much for return the favor with gratitude.... but some people are just poison i've learned. i gradually figured out how to respond, and am now forearmed for any future run-ins with similar personality types.... but i melted down on this guy, and it cost me a bit. as you lose your cool, the situation is out of your control.. and so is the potential damage to your reputation. lucky for me i have good and strong relationships in the music business, going back many years... so anyone truly important knew it was a unique event... and they soon had their own bad experiences with the person in question, so the damage to me was minimal really. BUT.. and here's the moral of this little tale... i learned to never lose my cool, no matter how malignant the personality of the person i'm dealing with, and if i ever encounter someone like that again... i will excuse myelf and quit the project as soon as possible... before it ever has the chance to build to a head like that one did.
this example of mine was with a person, rather than object, traffic, etc that you described having.... but the lesson is applicable. if you are seen or become known to have such problems.... it will hurt you terribly professionally. mine was also a one-time event.. if your issues are as varied and common as you desicribe, you'll need to get a handle on that asap, before you are seen by everyone you deal with, and thus everyone they know, in a very bad light.
i have another book suggestion for you. The Art Of Worldly Wisdom, by Baltasar Gracian... there are many translations of this 16th Century text, but i suggest Martin Fischer's, which can be picked up in a small paperback edition at Barnes & Noble for $4.95. The book is a collection of aphorisms that are surprisingly relevant to this day as well as being incredibly secular considering Gracian was a Jesuit priest.
here's a sample that's particularly germane to your issues:
Aphorism 52
Never lose your head, a matter of great practical wisdom, never to let it get away from you: it marks the great man, and noble of heart, for all greatness is hard to throw off balance. The passions are the humors of the spirit, and their every excess makes sick the mind, and if the disease escapes through the mouth, it endangers the reputation. Wherefore have such mastery over self, and be so strong, that nothing, either in the greatest fortune or in the greatest adversity, can upset you, remaining superior even to the admiration of this feat.
