Thank you, sir.
Oh, and I'll get to those suggestions at some point, I swear.
No problem man, whenever you get the chance.
In the meantime, I have another I thought I'd post. This one's also based on a dream (most of my "surreal" ones are):
Untitled: A Dream
Upon a bark, upon a stream,
Down waters swift we rode;
Within the darkness of a dream,
Towards waterfalls we flowed.
We yearned for where the river came
Abruptly to an end,
For there our spirits, free of shame,
The One-eyed would commend.
We gripped the shafts that bore our steel,
And screamed upon the tide;
The rapids rocks had torn the keel,
And hewn the starboard side.
My arm I could no longer feel,
My brothers all had died,
Save two, who by my side did kneel
And roar in feral pride.
We raised our swords towards the sky,
And bellowed in a tongue
Of heathen kin-a pagan cry-
As water drenched the lung.
Before our eyes the shores did fleet,
As did our lives still young,
Which we, like blood soaked in a sheet,
From out the sheet had wrung.
Forth I did shout my fathers name-
Recalled my mothers face-
I saw my wife, who always came
To me in my disgrace.
I heard my son; his laughter rose
From memories long past-
Would this, my life, I still have chose
To have it end at last?
We come now to the end of all,
Where waters fall to fate,
And course beyond the waterfall
Where stormy graves await.
I scream and thrust my blade on high:
Valhalla! comes the call;
And blood adorns the pagan sky
From which my brothers fall.
My eyes open in dreariness;
The dark smells of despair.
I feel consumed by weariness
And terror as I stare
Upon a cave where echoes rang,
A cavern deep and wide,
From which I see in thousands hang
My brothers who have died.
Similar to a Wordsworth/Coleridge Lyrical Ballads deal.
