The (Un)official write anything you want page

[Tide In Mind Out]

So, a student (black guy) who has attended some of my writing workshops this semester stopped me in the hallway to thank me for all of my help. Then, he asked, "But you know what you really need in your life?" "You need a black man in your life."

*facepalm*

 

[lurch70]

it ALWAYS happens after you're engaged.

 

[einride]

hahaha

i was so fucking angry yesterday about my stolen bike that after work i went out and looked for it, knowing that it would MOST LIKELY be futile because stolen bikes are never, ever regained, BUT! i figured i must do SOMETHING to keep THEM from winning. i wasn't about to ACCEPT that this happened.

so i tried to retrace the path the guy most likely took (i.e. my bike was parked right outside my apartment, which is right by a bus stop, so i figured some drunk loser most likely thought "UHHHH WAITING FOR THE BUS TO GET DOWNTOWN (A 13 MINUTE WALK) IS TOO HARD LETS STEAL THIS BIKE") and fucking FOUND my bike parked outside a stupid red apartment building not too far from me, so i took it the fuck back, nailed a very angry notice to the wall where i found the bike saying basically "fuck you, i reported this shit to the police and i know where you live. get fucked forever." and WON. DON'T STEAL SHIT FROM ME.

SCORE 1 FOR JUSTICE P.I. (me)

i literally did this again, today, with the same bike

i was out today shopping for used bikes, getting real angry cause i couldn't find a good one. then i dropped my girlfriend off downtown and i was walking around feeling angry about bikes. then suddenly i see my bike (same bike as in the story above; about a year ago it got stolen a SECOND time) just standing there. unlocked, too.

SCORE 2 FOR JUSTICE P.I.

fuck all thieves

it's in pretty bad shape now though

 

[dorian gray]

how did you know it was yours?

 

[lurch70]

there are only 2 bikes in his village

 

[Hell Mike]

Stand by for the thrilling finale

 

[einride]

not even going to post about it, i feel so fucking deflated atm

let's just say fuck the police (comin straight from da underground)

 

[einride]

how did you know it was yours?

it had a picture of me on it





(no, really, it had a THE FOREVER SEASON sticker with a band photo)

 

[dorian gray]

are you posting from jail?

 

[lurch70]

You were too pretty in that band photo and the cops didn't recognize you?
did you ask to stand in the grass?

 

[neal]

did you ask to stand in the grass?

brilliant

 

[dorian gray]

awesome

 

[lurch70]

what can you get from stealing a bike in Sweden? If killing 100 gets you max 20 something years in Norway, max you could get is a scolding.

 

[dorian gray]

Society buys the thief a new bike because they feel sorry for him that he had to steal Erik's

 

[lurch70]

http://www.metalinjection.net/tv/view/8732/how-metalheads-paint-a-room

 

[lurch70]

hahahha ... hipster racism

http://jezebel.com/5905291/a-comple...source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

 

[Dick Sirloin]

Another Facebook bitch:

Is EVERY AMERICAN UNDER AGE 60 a complete EGO-FUCKING-MANIAC???!?!

I'm not saying I'm exempt from this, but it's really mortifying to see how un-self-aware most people are

 

[Krilons Resa]

^ one of the many, many reasons why I ditched my FB account. Although I am thinking of starting another one under some random alias just to use spotify.

 

[lurch70]

what else do you think facebook is for? to flaunt how exciting (yet really boring) your life is.

one thing I found out since using it ... mankind is a boring ass bunch.

 

[Dick Sirloin]

The thing that incited my rage (other than dealing with a bunch of other bullshit and listening to SYL) was a hot chick--a random friend of a friend whose hot pic appeared in my newsfeed--who, under Languages Known, listed "Biblical Hebrew" and "French" (she lives in rural NC) and has a photo album called "random meeeeeee!" with GUESS WHAT a bunch of self-pics of herself duckfacing.

I, for one, welcome our alien overlords.