The (Un)official write anything you want page

:kickass:

"Ok Homer, time to tell Marge the terrible secret from your past.....Marge, I ate the fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom. D'oh! Marge, I never graduated high school."
"That still doesn't explain why you ate my fancy soaps! Wait. Maybe it does."
 
son2.jpg

:lol:
 
snow2fall said:
It's the happiest song of the new material, expect something darker and gloomier soon.
it had better be DARKER THAN BLACKNESS and come with complimentary RAZOR BLADE if it's going to balance out that absolutely remarkably fucking terrible pink saccharine happycrap that was "everything"
 
Dick Sirloin said:
It's a moogapod, an instrument I invented
mp3z plz

So yesterday was the annual Orange Blossom Festival that involves a lot of microbreweries gathering downtown to show off their wares. Last year I told the story about how my friend threw up in my car and this year wasn't quite as exciting, but didn't involve 14 near death occurences either so that's cool. Laguna Beach Brew has an AWESOME IPA that is very much like a barleywine (no really, if you tried some you'd understand). They actually weren't supposed to sell that stuff as it was part of their secret stash but they knew we were all hardcore beer-o-philes so kept pouring us the swill. So I got blitzed but not to the point of blindness, just a nice yelling drunken state. Went back to my pad to eat pizza and drink and smoke and watch Boondock Saints, then when most people left a giant doberman was waltzing around my back porch so I went to go talk to him. He didn't tell me where he was from but we hung out for a bit and then he was on his merry way, I hope he made it home. My assistant was there (that's the kind of boss I am, you WILL get drunk with me on occasion) and said "I don't know what's more strange: that there's a huge doberman in your back yard, or the fact that you're petting him."

I'm very offensive today but don't feel too bad at all really. My forearms smell and I have to eat some eggs.
 
Erik said:
it had better be DARKER THAN BLACKNESS and come with complimentary RAZOR BLADE if it's going to balance out that absolutely remarkably fucking terrible pink saccharine happycrap that was "everything"
Erik, have a candy, do a silly monkey dance and smile. Then stop hating everyone who's not as frustrated and bitter as you are. Option 2: Listen to Shining and slit your wrists.
The sad news: Happy people make happy music, unhappy people make unhappy music. Anathema's Danny is a happy kid at the moment.


:rolleyes:
 
Erik isn't worthy of performing my silly monkey dances. He's too unhappy with everything and everyone. Besides, he hates me so he'd never request to learn one.
 
Also on Friday night I went to a "party" (only 4 people showed up) and played some XBox 420 games and watched the Animatrix on a giant projector thingy which was REALLY fucking cool. I've never lusted over big televisions for any reason, but the thought of watching a bunch of low budget artsy fartsy shit covered on an entire wall gave me a boner. There was a big dog named Blazer there who wouldn't leave me alone (fine by me, he ruled), and neither did his owner: some cute college girl that shamelessly hit on me even though I brought a chick with me who in no way shape or form could be mistaken for my sister or other family member. Then I got to sit on a Love Sac not unlike this one:

6foot_black.jpg


I want one for every room in my apartment, including the kitchen. Oh yeah and after my chick and I started gaycuddling on the Sac the girl disappeared for the rest of the evening, haha.
 
haha... good story....


One of my buddy's girlfriends made one of those for his best friend... but she used pink cloth and hung little lengths of black stuff so it look like a giant ballsack complete with hairs.