The (Un)official write anything you want page
- Thread starter circus_brimstone
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Screw that, we made blackened catfish bbq pizza with okra on it. Better than a steak and blowjob combined
The news said today was St. Patrick's Day. Wtf? I remember last year they tried to pass it off on a different date but it didn't go over too well. My kitchen calendar says that it's on Tuesday the 17th LIKE IT SHOULD BE. This is f'ing madness, stop screwing with one of my favorite holidays.
J.
Old Fart
Derick isn't fond of steak to begin with, unless he cooks it, and cooking your own steak on Steak and Blow Job Day would just be ridiculous!
And our pizza ruled k thx.
Needed more okries though.
And our pizza ruled k thx.
Needed more okries though.
dorian gray
Returning videotapes
- Apr 8, 2004
- 21,258
- 489
- 83
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
cthulufhtagn
Went Out for Smokes 13 Years Ago
E-bortion
Omae wa mo shindeiru
- Dec 23, 2004
- 3,508
- 4
- 38
- 37
referring to contraceptives conversation from earlier: lifestyles ultra-thin are the way to go. virtually scent free and absolutely the thinnest (yet still reliable) condom on the market. i love'em. 
feels like im wearing nothing at all! nothing at all! nothing at all!
feels like im wearing nothing at all! nothing at all! nothing at all!
Chromatose
Squid pro quo
cthulufhtagn
Went Out for Smokes 13 Years Ago
i saw the picture and i sort of thought for a second you were gonna say your method of birth control is to think of flanders
Thanatopsis123
ç½é¬¼
Oh, and the lady is going on the pill. Guess I won't have to try those Magnums after all. Thank god.
Ars Magna
Ars Magna Recordings
This is apparently quit old, but I stumbled across it a bit ago and thought some of you might enjoy:
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys
Sirs:
Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.
With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:
Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.
As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.
We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.
Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]
pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys
Sirs:
Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.
With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:
Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.
As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.
We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.
Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]
pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D
dorian gray
Returning videotapes
- Apr 8, 2004
- 21,258
- 489
- 83
I picked up some Trojan Ultra-thins last night. I have yet to use them.
Report to follow at some point. Pics too. Warning: the pics may involve just me.
Thanatopsis123
ç½é¬¼
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
dorian gray
Returning videotapes
- Apr 8, 2004
- 21,258
- 489
- 83
I had forgotten how awesome Disc 2 of Blackwater Park Limited Edition was until last night when I listened to it for the first time since maybe 2003. I always know it's there, I'm just too lazy to listen to two songs because then I'll have to put a different disc in. A trip to Walgreen's for some Ultra-thins was the perfect opportunity. Buy this disc if you can still find it.
Btw, the ultra-thins are good I guess. They're still a condom though.
Btw, the ultra-thins are good I guess. They're still a condom though.
dorian gray
Returning videotapes
- Apr 8, 2004
- 21,258
- 489
- 83
You're like that one guy - Mandingo? - there's no condom in the world that can fit that freak.
Thanatopsis123
ç½é¬¼
No, I'm fairly average. Maybe I just have a chode. You know, it can touch all the sides of a tuna can at the same time but not the bottom.
La Rocque
I am that I am
Michael Jackson is still getting it done
Michael Jackson's farewell shows that he will give in London
are all sold out, as all 1 million tickets were sold in less than a day -
Michael Jackson's farewell shows that he will give in London
are all sold out, as all 1 million tickets were sold in less than a day -
