Calculate your own Opeth Fanboy Score! Answer each of the following questions (honestly...) and give yourself the appropriate number of points. Then, total up your score and find out what kind of Opeth fan you are.
(By the way - I scored a 42 - I'm almost a true fanboy!!)
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A. How many of the current members can you name (first AND last name)?
(1 point for each member for up to 5 points)
B. Can you name the drummer currently touring with Opeth in place of the official band member?
Yes (2)
No (0)
C. How many former members of Opeth can you name?
None (0)
One (1)
Two (2)
More Than Two (5)
D. How many of the current members of Opeth have you met? (ie, shook hands - made eye contact, not just "he flashed me the goat horns when I was in the front row!!!")
(1 point for each member for up to 5 points)
Bonus: Add 1 point per member if they have signed something (no more than 5 points).
Bonus: Add 4 points per member if they have purchased or given you an alcoholic beverage.
E. How many Opeth albums do you own?
(1 point for each studio album for up to 8 points)
Bonus: Add 2 points if you own the Lamentations DVD.
Bonus: Add 1 point for each Candlelight album you own (for up to 3 points).
F. For each of the following categories, give yourself 1 point if you own 1, 2 points if you own 2 and 5 points if you own more than 2.
a. Opeth Tee-shirts/Sweat shirts
b. Any other Opeth clothing
c. Records (those 12-inch vinyl thingys)
d. Bootlegs
e. Any other rarity (posters, jewelry, bumper stickers, etc.)
Bonus: Add 1 point to each item that is signed (no more than 5 points).
G. How many Opeth Concerts have you attended?
Only SOTU (-1)
None (0)
One (other than SOTU) (1)
Two (other than SOTU) (2)
Three (other than SOTU) (3)
Four (other than SOTU) (5)
More Than Four (other than SOTU) (10)
Bonus: Add 1 point for each Opeth concert you have attended prior to the release of Blackwater Park (no more than 5 points).
H. What have you named in honor of the Opeth members, songs, song lyrics, or associated characters?
An imaginary friend (-2)
Your login name (1)
Your sexual part or partner's sexual part (ie - "I'm gonna go polish my Mendez") (2)
A pet (ie - a fish named Jack Frober) (5)
A child (10)
I. Do you have an Opeth tattoo?
No (0)
One (10)
More than One (20)
On your nutsack (50)
J. How long have you been a member on this forum?
Since:
2006 (0)
2005 (1)
2004 (2)
2003 (3)
2002 (4)
2001 or earlier (5)
K. How many posts do you have on this board?
Less than 10 (0)
10 - 100 (2)
101 - 500 (4)
501 - 1000 (6)
1001 - 5000 (8)
More than 5000 (10)
L. How often do you listen to Opeth?
Every Day (5)
Damn Near Every Day (4)
Every Week (3)
Every Month (2)
Every Year (1)
Didn't I see them on TRL?? (-10)
M. Bonus categories. Give yourself 1 point for being able to correctly answer each of the following questions.
a. What is the current bass player's nickname on the Opeth board?
b. Which song was accidentally mastered incorrectly, causing it to be a part of a different song?
c. How many Opeth albums have thematic lyrics?
d. Who played bass on MAYH?
e. What is the name of the current lead singer's baby daughter?
*************************************************
Category I (Less than 20 points): N00B - First Class
Grab your ankles and pray - you are new to Opeth or aren't willing to put in the effort to call yourself a true fanboy. I look down upon you with shame. But, have faith - the hazing period will only last as long as you let it. Get out there and buy the DVD, drive 3 hours to see a concert, or get that big fancy O tattooed on your nutsack.
Category II (Between 20 and 49 points): Plember
Congratulations! You are officially no longer a N00B. However, you are not yet a full-fledged fanboy member. Although you have made important strides, you are still pledging the Opeth fraternity. You can still work harder. Try standing out in the cold in New England in February to meet the band and have them sign your album covers (not that I have any direct experience with this - seriously, though, the color is just now coming back into my fingers).
Category III (Between 50 and 100 points): Fanboy Extraordinaire
You, my friend, are worthy of high praise. You have taken the art of worshipping Opeth above the needs of your own family, your financial well-being, and perhaps the sanctity of your nutsack. Friends (those you've managed to keep) know full-well who your favorite band is, and would never question your devotion. But remember - as an official fanboy, it is your duty to strive every day to continue to display your membership to the world. Wear it like a badge of honor.
Category IV (More than 100 points): Pathological Insanity
Of course, there is such a thing as going TOO far. Nutsacks aside, knowing the color and consistency of band members' daily deposits (ie - dropping the kids off at the pool) goes far beyond the requirements for fanboydom. Perhaps you need to take some time off, rest a bit, take a nice claming blue pill, and think about how you can improve the other aspects of your life.
*************************************************
(By the way - I scored a 42 - I'm almost a true fanboy!!)
************************************************
A. How many of the current members can you name (first AND last name)?
(1 point for each member for up to 5 points)
B. Can you name the drummer currently touring with Opeth in place of the official band member?
Yes (2)
No (0)
C. How many former members of Opeth can you name?
None (0)
One (1)
Two (2)
More Than Two (5)
D. How many of the current members of Opeth have you met? (ie, shook hands - made eye contact, not just "he flashed me the goat horns when I was in the front row!!!")
(1 point for each member for up to 5 points)
Bonus: Add 1 point per member if they have signed something (no more than 5 points).
Bonus: Add 4 points per member if they have purchased or given you an alcoholic beverage.
E. How many Opeth albums do you own?
(1 point for each studio album for up to 8 points)
Bonus: Add 2 points if you own the Lamentations DVD.
Bonus: Add 1 point for each Candlelight album you own (for up to 3 points).
F. For each of the following categories, give yourself 1 point if you own 1, 2 points if you own 2 and 5 points if you own more than 2.
a. Opeth Tee-shirts/Sweat shirts
b. Any other Opeth clothing
c. Records (those 12-inch vinyl thingys)
d. Bootlegs
e. Any other rarity (posters, jewelry, bumper stickers, etc.)
Bonus: Add 1 point to each item that is signed (no more than 5 points).
G. How many Opeth Concerts have you attended?
Only SOTU (-1)
None (0)
One (other than SOTU) (1)
Two (other than SOTU) (2)
Three (other than SOTU) (3)
Four (other than SOTU) (5)
More Than Four (other than SOTU) (10)
Bonus: Add 1 point for each Opeth concert you have attended prior to the release of Blackwater Park (no more than 5 points).
H. What have you named in honor of the Opeth members, songs, song lyrics, or associated characters?
An imaginary friend (-2)
Your login name (1)
Your sexual part or partner's sexual part (ie - "I'm gonna go polish my Mendez") (2)
A pet (ie - a fish named Jack Frober) (5)
A child (10)
I. Do you have an Opeth tattoo?
No (0)
One (10)
More than One (20)
On your nutsack (50)
J. How long have you been a member on this forum?
Since:
2006 (0)
2005 (1)
2004 (2)
2003 (3)
2002 (4)
2001 or earlier (5)
K. How many posts do you have on this board?
Less than 10 (0)
10 - 100 (2)
101 - 500 (4)
501 - 1000 (6)
1001 - 5000 (8)
More than 5000 (10)
L. How often do you listen to Opeth?
Every Day (5)
Damn Near Every Day (4)
Every Week (3)
Every Month (2)
Every Year (1)
Didn't I see them on TRL?? (-10)
M. Bonus categories. Give yourself 1 point for being able to correctly answer each of the following questions.
a. What is the current bass player's nickname on the Opeth board?
b. Which song was accidentally mastered incorrectly, causing it to be a part of a different song?
c. How many Opeth albums have thematic lyrics?
d. Who played bass on MAYH?
e. What is the name of the current lead singer's baby daughter?
*************************************************
Category I (Less than 20 points): N00B - First Class
Grab your ankles and pray - you are new to Opeth or aren't willing to put in the effort to call yourself a true fanboy. I look down upon you with shame. But, have faith - the hazing period will only last as long as you let it. Get out there and buy the DVD, drive 3 hours to see a concert, or get that big fancy O tattooed on your nutsack.
Category II (Between 20 and 49 points): Plember
Congratulations! You are officially no longer a N00B. However, you are not yet a full-fledged fanboy member. Although you have made important strides, you are still pledging the Opeth fraternity. You can still work harder. Try standing out in the cold in New England in February to meet the band and have them sign your album covers (not that I have any direct experience with this - seriously, though, the color is just now coming back into my fingers).
Category III (Between 50 and 100 points): Fanboy Extraordinaire
You, my friend, are worthy of high praise. You have taken the art of worshipping Opeth above the needs of your own family, your financial well-being, and perhaps the sanctity of your nutsack. Friends (those you've managed to keep) know full-well who your favorite band is, and would never question your devotion. But remember - as an official fanboy, it is your duty to strive every day to continue to display your membership to the world. Wear it like a badge of honor.
Category IV (More than 100 points): Pathological Insanity
Of course, there is such a thing as going TOO far. Nutsacks aside, knowing the color and consistency of band members' daily deposits (ie - dropping the kids off at the pool) goes far beyond the requirements for fanboydom. Perhaps you need to take some time off, rest a bit, take a nice claming blue pill, and think about how you can improve the other aspects of your life.
*************************************************
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