Weird things happening lately

[Dazed and Brutal]

Yep this is sure fire first step to alcoholism. I'd advice not drinking as method for waking up, but I thought that be pretty obvious.

 

[cookiecutter]

My Uncle Bill has been dead for thirteen years.

Had me going until the end. Well done

 

[Onder]

Story of one of my friends, his female friend was sucking his dick when she suddenly bit it off. I don't know why. He's so sensible he still doesn't talk to her.

EDIT: true story suckers.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

 

[mutantllama]

X2

 

[False Joe]

Walking around talking to your self but looking over to one side.

Holy shit...

TIACN WAS IN FIGHT CLUB.

 

[seedofvengeance]

Story of one of my friends, his female friend was sucking his dick when she suddenly bit it off. I don't know why. He's so sensible he still doesn't talk to her.

EDIT: true story suckers.

So your friend has no dick, now? That's fucked up, man. I think I'd just rather die at that point.

 

[Rabid Headbanger]

I'd shoot the bitch.

 

[Einherjar86]

I'd shoot the bitch.

Although, that wouldn't even compare to the pain of having your dick bit off. I'd be utterly sadistic. We're talking Inquisition shit.

 

[waif]

I'd rip her entrails out through her cunt, Cannibal Corpse style.

Assuming I didn't bleed to death.

And I don't believe that's true.

 

[Rabid Headbanger]

*Instantly reminded of Mel Brook's amazing musical number*

 

[Pessimism]

 

[Valerie]

Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party!

 

[BlackMetalWhiteGuy]

This makes me realize even more how badly I need to learn to sing.

 

[Onder]

So your friend has no dick, now?

You seem very clever.

I'd shoot the bitch.

But your cock and the bitch are now one. There's a rumour that one's dick can live inside woman's stomach and feed only from b12 vitamin but only if she's alive.

 

[King Richard]

I have this thing where occasionally wake up after taking a nap, and I'm aware of everything that's going on, but for some reason, I can't move. I don't know why it happens, but it's really freaky. Usually, it takes a lot of effort, but I eventually move my arm, or something, but then I'm really exhausted like I just worked out or something... it's really weird.

Pfff, that happens to me all the time. It's called being awesome. Welcome to the club.

 

[waif]

But your cock and the bitch are now one. There's a rumour that one's dick can live inside woman's stomach and feed only from b12 vitamin but only if she's alive.

My cock and your mom are one.

 

[The Ozzman]

You seem very clever.



But your cock and the bitch are now one. There's a rumour that one's dick can live inside woman's stomach and feed only from b12 vitamin but only if she's alive.

wat

 

[False Joe]

I knew an old lady who swallowed a dick

It wriggled and tickled and jiggled inside her.

 

[waif]

wat