When Girls Don't Put Out

[deaddreams]

Somebody stole this from the ESP board

Still heaps funny though

 

[Alasdhair]

That made me laugh quite hard! Thanks for that!

 

[MulaHC]

When girls don't put out!!


Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'



I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for
each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is
all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't
feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

LOL! XD
I hate go shopping uke:

 

[Ze Boy]

I just read that, nearly woke up the whole house laughing HILARIOUS!

 

[SteveMCsteve]

hahahaahahaha

 

[Necrö]

Fellatio solves every problem.

!!!
sigged

 

[Dred]

!!!
sigged

 

[stormy]

Read it before But its GREAT!!

 

[Deadly]

lolz

serves her right for saying 'no' though, haha

 

[(__Joonas__)]

Oh c'mon, it's not so hard to understand.

If you were a chick, would you get turn on by a hairy bloke gently pushing you from behind?

There's the ice cold question. It is something else chicks want.

I don't know what that is, but sometimes they're just horny enough to have sex.

I only watch lesbian porn tho. I think that's the way sex is meant to be. Dick is there just for reproduction.

 

[Dred]

Oh c'mon, it's not so hard to understand.

If you were a chick, would you get turn on by a hairy bloke gently pushing you from behind?

There's the ice cold question. It is something else chicks want.

I don't know what that is, but sometimes they're just horny enough to have sex.

I only watch lesbian porn tho. I think that's the way sex is meant to be. Dick is there just for reproduction.

You sir, are a fucking idiot. Now go away!

*throws tennis ball*

 

[Alex_]

reaaaaalyyyy how people can be so stupid?

 

[Alasdhair]

You sir, are a fucking idiot. Now go away!

*throws tennis ball*

Agreed.

That's the second time I have agreed with Dred today... Only because he sleeps with me on the side.

 

[Deadly]

There's the ice cold question. It is something else chicks want.

I don't know what that is, but sometimes they're just horny enough to have sex.

in my country we call such a thing 'goesting'

and from my point of view spoken, it's not that we don't want, we just want you to make an effort. but i speak solely for myself.

I only watch lesbian porn tho.

thank you for sharing

 

[The Butt]

I lol'd hard. Great thread.

 

[Dred]

Agreed.

That's the second time I have agreed with Dred today... Only because he sleeps with me on the side.

To be accurate, I sleep with you from behind. You are my bitch....bitch.

 

[Alasdhair]

To be accurate, I sleep with you from behind. You are my bitch....bitch.

I still can't believe you make me wear corpse paint as you do it!

 

[Dred]

 

[Fetzer]

Well... What about good preliminary? Take less effort than putting up a big story like that

 

[ingrid]

I hate go shopping uke:

me too