"Hey, what are you listening to? Bodom?" asked my wife very gently as she entered our bedroom - also serving as my home office these covid times - on the first working day of 2021. I was. I like listening to metal while coding. I was somewhere in the middle of Tokyo Warhearts.
Tokyo Warhearts was the first Children of Bodom recording I ever heard, waay back, some 20 or so years earlier. Before that I had only been into melodic stuff, the likes of Hammerfall, Rhapsody, Sonata Arctica etc, staying away from bands with harsh vocals. Tokyo Warhearts was the first time I heard such vocals paired with highly melodic, heavy/power-metallic instrument usage. Exactly the type I had been into. On top of this, it was packed with lovely harmonies, incredible virtuosity and was extremely energetic - it was an instant love. That album also opened a door for me towards other bands that I never would have considered listening to otherwise.
"I guess you heard, then..." she continued quietly. "No, what is it?" I asked.
CoB became one of my most favourite bands, and the one I probably listened to the most during the naughties. They had a huge effect on my musical taste and guitar playing. Before knowing them I had never realized how much I like harmonization between instruments and especially guitars in metal. My favourite album from them has always been Hatebreeder, followed closely by Follow the Reaper and Something Wild. HCDR, while still good, felt like going in the wrong direction for me. Sadly, that became a prediction come through with their albums after that one. I'm still not entirely sure what changed or is missing from those - while they still had the melodies, harmonies, technique and speed, their atmosphere was completely different to what I loved in their Jackson-playing, Alexander Kuoppala-supported era.
"Poor lad... He did look frighteningly sick in recent years alright... Could have been the heavy alcohol abuse..." I remarked when my wife broke the news. The grief had not struck me immediately.
The last album I actively listened to was Blooddrunk, but as I wasn't finding what I was looking for, I moved on and CoB was replaced in my most-played list with others, like the excellent Kalmah, which did give me a similar sense of atmosphere as early Bodom. I gave a listen to all their newer albums but they did not stick at all. In the past dozen years or so, I only came back to them every once in a while, and only to their early stuff - those still give me chills - and the Inearthed era. Why I was listening to Tokyo Warhearts on that early January day was to capture some of the dual-guitar stuff, as my wife's brother - who is into early Bodom just like me - and I finally live close enough to each other so we can learn some of their songs and play the harmonies together. It is gut-wrenching to think that the first time we played Downfall through together was only a few days before Alexi Laiho passed away.
The pain came slowly. I have been checking the internet for tributes since then and listening to their early albums on repeat. Played along with some of the songs that I know more or less. Never would have thought I'd shed tears playing rhythm during the outro of Hatebreeder.
Perhaps one thing I keep coming back to the early albums for is - and this might sound strange - the positive energy. Despite the dark lyrics, the accompanying music always cheers me up. Reminding me of old times, when all of us were younger, the band members all had huge smiles on their faces in photos, Alexi looked a lot healthier, wore less eyeliner and black nail polish, concentrated more on playing and less on profanities on stage, and the music did not strengthen the sorrow and disregard coming from the lyrics but seemed to convey that there is a way through.
And that is how I choose to remember him, how I choose to remember you, Alexi. Thank you for the incredible experience. Rest in peace dude, a Reaper nyugosztaljon!