Are You an Observer or a Joiner?

[YaYo]

yeh yeh observer of course, although i make a special effort to keep up hte 'joiner' side of things because every once in a while i need to do that.

At the moment im going through a period where i dont want to do anything with anyone, except talk over internet because thats slow and easy and i have time to think and i dont have to 'appear' good or anything, and i can be who i want to be without any restrictions. I find it hard to change some parts of myself that others are used to, because it will draw attention to me and draw comments which i don't want. With internet u just start from scratch, far less stressful.

Overall i like how my life is set up, enough observing, and enough interacting to keep me happy and keep things changing and interesting, and stable. But then i go through periods like at the moment when im just not so happy for may little reasons that have built up, and all i want to do is nothing, except talk about my issues/problems with someone who cares (hm.. ), and its then that this 'interacting' side starts to interfere with my sanity and well-being.

hm

 

[mindflesh]

Originally posted by Trapped
It is totally ironic and contradictory to be posting in this thread if you are an observer.

... This is my observation for this evening:

There seems to be a number of people that -want- to be an observer for some reason, wether it be the 'mystery' surrounding a quiet person, or wether it just be the fact that they want to seem much deeper in thought...

I disagree. I'm the observer type in real life, and even here I'm rather observing - of course I respond, why else would I have registered here... but I hardly ever start threads. I'm like that in real life too: When I go out, there are usually some discussions going on... I'm listening, and when I feel I have something important to say to that particular topic I say it. But I hate mindless small talk; I know it's a lot easier to make aquaintances etc. if you talk a lot but I'm not that type of person. I hardly ever am the 'center' of anything. Also, I know very few people IRL who share some interests with me... So I have few important things to discuss with them and I don't want to talk some mindless blah blah... I observe.
But the problem with observing a lot is that you may discover some character traits of certain people which you would have rather not liked to discover...

 

[MacMoney]

I'm an observer mainly because I don't care about the stuff people usually talk about.

I'd like to be a joiner every now and then but I usually can't think of anything to say.

 

[MetalManCPA]

Originally posted by Belial


You consider new item smells and and dancing banannas interesting?

New smells - yes
Dancing banana - no

And we're all allowed momentary lapses of reasoning

 

[Demonspell]

I'm an observer who likes to make an unexpected entrance, which has cost me a few friends and gained me some admirers...

 

[wobbo]

On this board im a observer, cause i dont know any of u.. im kinda shy and dont talk much until i know someone, but when i do, i cant shut up sometimes

Im always listening to music when im outside alone, so i just go around and look at people and listen to good music.

Its nice to just sit down and shut up and look at people, and make up some kind of picture how that person is and so on.
U dont have to talk all the time, if im sorrounded with people i know, i dont feel like i have to talk at all, if im in that mood, they know what i think about certain things and so... and when its about new people that i have never met, well lets say im not the first to jump in to say someting, but it all depends or what kind of person it is, if i find him/her interesting, ofcourse i would like to know more what they think and so.

and as usual my english sucks, haha noticed that now

 

[Belial]

So one time, at band camp, we were like, sitting around and like, ttalking and stuff, and this guy was like, "whoa, dude! Look at that!" and I was like, "Killer", and then this chick came along and was like, bitching about things and I like, said I tired. I like, like talking and everything, but dude! You have to know when to just shut up sometimes!

Oh my god! It was so cool, we like, hung out, then we started dancing around naked like, cut off a goat's head, and like, drank it's blood and this dude next to me was like, speaking in tongues and we like, called the ultimate evil spirit. That was so lame, because all that came out was a purple dinasoar and some from from seseme street. Bummer.

 

[Belial]

Ok, I guess you can all tell who's been drinking again.

 

[musicholic]

I don't remember who said it first, but the quote is "No one ever learned anything by talking". I have found that the more I talk, the quicker I run out of things to say. Besides, women love a guy who is a "good listener".

 

[CladInDarkness]

Most defienently an observer. I never talk too much, but most of the time i tend drift off into space haha and day dream too much

 

[Jayde]

I'm a joiner. I don't like it, though. When I'm around people I tend to get nervous and babble, then I regret babbling later. I have to work on that. That and being to outspoken abouy my feelings.

 

[Blackspirit]

It just struck me that we all might be too cought up in the fact
that a person has to like the same things that you like and
think the way you do? I have some of these thoughts when
I'm talking to someone I don't know very well;
"Argh, this conversation is getting boring.
I miss someone to talk to that are into the same things as me."

This is what yourdeadgroom wrote in his messages...
He has special interests and people who don't share them get
boring to talk to. you can't even be bothered to start a
conversation with some people, because your interests will
bore the hell out of them, and make them look upon you as
some stupid twat >P

But should this make us start having mindless conversations
going nowhere?!

Are we too picky? This is something I have thought about a lot.
Am I un-normal (stupid word, but you get the idea) for being
so picky about my friends? Should I just let go and start acting
like a big dork, like everybody else, just to make more friends?
The metalman himself said it so well;

I can't be bothered forcing myself to make friends - I think a lot of people who have these so-called friends do it for purposes of stature - looks good to have a social life.

This reminds me of Ally McBeal or something....
Being way too nervous about things, and letting go/or not.

tintin is also right; when you're in a big group you sometimes
get "smitten" and start acting like a fool yourself.
What I have realized is that you're just having fun,
but for an outsider, or an observer, it looks really stupid!
The person doesn't know what it's like. And still I am one of
those myself, sitting there judging people by how they act in
a group. While the one-on-one conversations is what really
matters.... I'm disgusted by myself >P hehehe....

 

[~Zeanra~]

I'm definitely an observer. It depends on many things. If there's people around me who I don't know, I don't talk anything, I step aside and just watch what the others are doing, what they look like, listen what they're talking about, try to figure out what's been going on in their lives and so on. But with my friends or among other people who I know, I'm more talkative but not much (it also depends on in what mood I am). I can talk about very usual things jumping from subject to subject or I don't say a word.

I love observing people. Sometimes I sit somewhere where's a lot of people going somewhere all the time, and just watch them. Sometimes I find myself staring at someone, and that can be embarrassing, even more if he/she notices that, eh.

It also depends on people. I'm interested in music and books mostly, and if the person isn't into them, then I don't know what to say. I'll just be quiet. I've also noticed this when being with my friends; some of them really don't care much about music, so I don't much talk with them though I spend a lot time with them.

It can also be this way that there's only one person in the group who I don't know so well or at all; I don't talk then either. I don't know why, maybe because I'm afraid I say something which may hurt him/her or something. Don't know.

It's a quite difficult me to start a conversation, and also join in them. I don't know what people are interested in, and if the topic isn't close to me, no talking. The most horrible thing in this is that someone may get hurt of me being quiet. No. I don't want to hurt anyone.

Probably the reasons why I'm like this are that I'm awfully shy, I'm the only child in the family, I've never really had anyone who to talk to. There's also been things (still are) which others haven't liked and that's why left me alone. So I'm kinda used to it, being alone and an observer. And maybe it has something to do being a typical Finn; stubborn, never talks, sits alone glowering everyone else a can of beer in the one hand and a knife in the other

What a long reply and with my English...

 

[Spike]

Ok folks, let's have a big rousing applause for all the 'Joiners'!!!!!!



Ummmm... has anyone actually heard from or claimed to be a 'joiner' as of yet?

Nope.

I've more or less always been an observer, but I find I tend to be that way because A) Yes I like to just sit and listen, but also B) because I have a very VERY dry sense of humour am almost always sarcastic (Has anyone else noticed how hard it is to TYPE sarcasm) .That's half the reason why it took me so long to make a start on these message boards. Where everthing that comes out of my mouth is usually sarcastic, you tend to get stupmed for 'things to say' when your typing them!

Until very recently I almost always used to walk around with a permanent smirk. I'd just walk up to a bunch of 'friends', start up an 'interesting' conversation, then sit back and 'amuse' myself by listening to their inane replies and 'observing' the group dynamic.

I definitely wouldn't go as far as to say I'm pessimistic. Even though I do more often than not see the 'bad' things that could come out of a situation, it amuses me more than any thing else.

P.S. Just to show you how much of an 'observer' I can be at times, even though it says I started posting on the message boards a few months ago, I was reading all the post for months before I decided to intrude (I'd found a bunch of people with similar interest to my own [Youse Folk!], so I didn't want to change anything as the conversations going on were very interesting.

Righte'o Then, I'm done.