Ask Shpongled anything!

[Lord Foul]

Marsupials really just have the two, and pronged penises to match. But one could extend the theory to cover 8 or more vaginas. The penises become nightmarish hentai constructs at that point though.

 

[Chromatose]

This looks familiar!

Oh right!

 

[Captain Beard]

It's quite theksy, I must thay.

 

[zoidberg]

nooo, I HAVE QUESTIONS UNANSWERED

you need to change your avatar. NOW!!!

 

[Malergion]

Go away.

 

[DreamNeonBlack]

Kevin, why can't I sleep?

 

[JBroll]

When is Smashy coming back? I've left the dinner bowl out every night but the only thing that's eaten any of it is this little boy badger that seems to think it's a little girl badger whenever it's around the other little boy badgers and I don't think I'm supposed to watch it being confused.

Why do some silly people seem to think that rendering us completely harmless against people who want to steal our houses and say mean things to us is the best way to keep them from stealing our houses and saying mean things to us? Nobody said mean things to me after I brought that pocketknife to school and drew things in people's desks with it...

Where do religions go when they die?

Why do people think Starbucks is worth drinking?

Why can't anyone sleep?

Jeff

 

[Karmic]

you need to change your avatar. NOW!!!

:zombie:

interesting

 

[Shpongled]

Kevin, why can't I sleep?

I purposely waited to post in this thread until now just to say:

You can sleep! I bet you're asleep right now!

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

i still have eight vaginas though

sweet, i can fit two of my penises into EACH of them!

 

[Captain Beard]

I am so bringing a camera for that.

 

[Shpongled]

When is Smashy coming back? I've left the dinner bowl out every night but the only thing that's eaten any of it is this little boy badger that seems to think it's a little girl badger whenever it's around the other little boy badgers and I don't think I'm supposed to watch it being confused.

Isn't it obvious? Smashy ran off to live with a family that wouldn't give him such a gay name. He probably lives a few blocks down now hammin' it up as "Berzerker", slaughtering mice and squirrels and having his way with all the alley cats behind his new house. As for the badger, he's obviously insecure about and unsure of his sexuality and he's looking to you for guidance.

Why do some silly people seem to think that rendering us completely harmless against people who want to steal our houses and say mean things to us is the best way to keep them from stealing our houses and saying mean things to us? Nobody said mean things to me after I brought that pocketknife to school and drew things in people's desks with it...

Because then the FBI won't have to worry about you firing back when they raid your house in 10 years just because they can.
Where do religions go when they die?

Heaven.

Why do people think Starbucks is worth drinking?

This is a trick question. Starbucks IS worth drinking. It's NOT worth paying for.

Why can't anyone sleep?

I'll give this one a whirl when I wake up.

Jeff

Kevin

...

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

Why does aspirin cause me to have such vivid off-the-wall dreams?

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

the words "recommended dosage" don't mean "half the recommended dosage"...

 

[Captain Beard]

They also don't mean take 3 differently named ones that all poke your liver with knives.

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

poking your liver with knives on your own, however, is HIGHLY recommended

 

[Necromunchkin]

And fun for the whole family.

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

you have to give the little ones parring knives to do it with, though. a lot of times, you have to keep your hands around theirs so they aim steadily.

of course, it's just as fun if they're a little off.

will and i are sooo ready for parenthood.

 

[Captain Beard]

I poke mine with utensils made of meat all the time!

And as long as you teach the little bastards to piss on church grounds, you're forgiven.

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

isn't that counter-productive, though?