Controversial opinions on metal

His process for picking bands that he finds "essential" is very strange and arbitrary so we may never find out why he fellates Testament so much.

As for me, I think they're alright for thrash. But I don't generally like most thrash anymore so yeah.
 
"Apocalyptic City" maaaan.
This and "Raging Waters". Also, "The Legacy" would be even better if "Alone In The Dark" had been replaced by "Reign Of Terror", which (luckily) was at least included on the "Live At Eindhoven"-EP.

The Legacy is like a watered down Ride The Lightning to me.
Could you elaborate on this? I don't see much similarities between both albums. The sound on "The Legacy" is rawer than on "Ride The Lightning" (which I do like, though I don't think it would fit the songs on the latter as well), and whereas all songs on the former except of "Alone In The Dark" are played fast more or less from beginning to end, this only applies to three songs on "Ride The Lightning". The latter surely offers more musical diversity and while I would also rank it higher (probably still 10/10) than "The Legacy", the latter wouldn't follow far behind.
 
Testament is the most vanilla thrash band I can think of. Very bland stuff.

Proficient enough to not be terrible but I tend to remember nothing when I hear them.

I actually don't like Heathen either... But I've never been big on pure thrash metal unless Slayer wrote it.
 
I love how I'm suddenly a massive Testament fanboy when just a few months ago, TechBarb was commenting on how I hated them (or maybe just Chuck Billy's voice) just because I said Chuck doesn't have a great singing range. I like the band, I think they have their own sound and that to write them off as completely generic is unfair at best, or aping common consensus at worst.

The only thing Testament REALLY has in common with Metallica is that they built many of their songs on the kind of riffing style that afaik "Damage Inc" invented (at least in a metal context), that really rapid but tight syncopated kind of stuff that tends to sound something like dut dutahlut dut-dutahlut. There is a riff about three minutes into Apocalyptic City where they take the proto-melodeath riff of Damage Inc and basically play it backwards, so I'm obviously not denying a tangible influence. I'm just saying that what influence they did take (from arguably the most influential metal band of the 80s) was not mere copy-cat stuff, but a progression on it. The evolution of that riffing style from Damage Inc, to early Testament, to other thrash bands like Sacrifice and Believer, to melodeath period Carcass, to The Haunted and metalcore is really apparent. The album doesn't resemble Ride the Lightning at all.

Testament is one of those bands that never really clicked with me. They come across as the poor man's thrash band compared with their contemporaries (just look at how many of their band members attempted to jump ship to better bands), and even at their best have a very straightforward and generic thrash sound. The vast majority of their albums barely pass the threshold of being mediocre. Even The Legacy is missing that "X factor" that elevates the other bands in their scene, and it is definitely their best album. And to top it all off, Chuck Billy's vocals are really boring.

You could apply the jumping-ship to other bands too. Of course some people will want to follow the money. Aside from Damage Inc in particular as mentioned above, who do you think Testament sounds like on the first two albums?
 
Testament is the most vanilla thrash band I can think of. Very bland stuff.

Proficient enough to not be terrible but I tend to remember nothing when I hear them.

I actually don't like Heathen either... But I've never been big on pure thrash metal unless Slayer wrote it.

This is because you have a small penis
 
Feel free to compare albums and have a 73 page discussion about how 3 riffs weren't really comparable and production is different and vocalist isn't identical to Metallica's.

I don't care.

Could you elaborate on this? I don't see much similarities between both albums. The sound on "The Legacy" is rawer than on "Ride The Lightning" (which I do like, though I don't think it would fit the songs on the latter as well), and whereas all songs on the former except of "Alone In The Dark" are played fast more or less from beginning to end, this only applies to three songs on "Ride The Lightning". The latter surely offers more musical diversity and while I would also rank it higher (probably still 10/10) than "The Legacy", the latter wouldn't follow far behind.

All I'm saying is, they probably listened to Metallica a-fucking-lot at that time.
 
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No shit they did, so did virtually every other American thrash band up to the mid 80s. You still need to point out specifics if you're going to say that they're that derivative. A band like Heathen directly copies Metallica and Exodus ideas far more often, and didn't have nearly the creative impact of Testament. I can listen to a given band and think "Hey, that sounds like Testament"; I've never listened to a band and thought "Hey, that part was so Heathen".

Damage Inc. is so fucking awesome.

I used to hate it because of an autistic prejudice against the chorus, but these days yeah, classic song. Battery and Leper Messiah are probably the only ones that aren't 10/10 tracks for me.
 
HBB ignored my post entirely, which surprised me since he started this entire tirade because I said that I had never heard a Testament album. Now that I have, he won't even acknowledge me. I'm so upset about it.
 
Just because I didn't quote it doesn't mean I ignored it. The Metallica influence is present, but it's not inseparable. Testament, on their first two albums, had their own niche carved in thrash.

I don't even know what you mean by calling them a less focused band than Heathen. Even on Breaking the Silence you get that Sweet cover or songs so basic they barely even count as thrash, and then their second album you get a Rainbow cover, a fucking horrible power ballad, and a Yngwie ripoff leftover from when they still played AOR.
 
Well, actually I'll backtrack somewhat because the second Testament album is pretty unfocused too (Aerosmith cover and excessive intros out the butt), but debut vs debut, Testament had a far more consistent and developed sound.
 
Today they normally give autism as a diagnosis to people with certain character traits, such as a heterogeneous intelligence, hyper-sensitivity (to noise, to certain fabrics, to changes in routines etc.), special interests, a tendency to think with images rather than words, a special ability to focus and see details where others don’t, a special interest in collections and/or other traits.

They normally differ between “high functioning” autists (often just called “Aspergers”) and “low functioning” autists, and the latter is usually what normal people think of when they hear about autism. I am going to talk about the former here, because they are very interesting from an historical perspective and there is nothing wrong with them – unless of course they also have some problems that are not actually related to their autism, like many non-autistic human beings have too.

Aspergers are often socially a bit difficult to relate to for many, but they possess some abilities that normal human beings simply don’t have, and they are therefore believed to have been extremely over-represented in all the types of work where the combination of extremely high intelligence, exceptional sense for details, complete disregard for what other pople think about them, an extreme ability to focus and exceptionally good memory has been important. Somewhat jokingly researchers on autism have said that probably every single great historical figure in the history of man was an Asperger: political leaders, inventors, generals, composers, scientists and you name it. Only Aspergers have the exceptional abilities needed for this, they claim (and I agree).

Asperger is a “diagnosis” today, and this is of course very odd, because Asperger only means that you are different, that your brain works in a different way. There is nothing wrong with Aspergers! They just work in a different way.

My (Asperger) wife has suggested on atala.fr that the features of an Asperger might well be features inherited from our Neanderthal forebears. When our forebears mixed with Homo sapiens the skulls changed a bit, over time of course, and because of that the brain changed too, and the Europan man became dumber and also less happy. So unhappy in fact that he started to do all sorts of things to help his situation; he created art because he no longer was able to see the (details of the) beauty of nature itself, and he created civilisation and new technology, because he could not bear life any more and tried to make it better.

Aspergers too suffer from this metaphysical vertigo, and I dare say; in particular Aspergers suffer from this metaphysical vertigo, because they see and understand so much more of the natural and original state of things than the normal people do, and probably all the innovations and technology was brought about by Aspergers.

Normal people are more like homo sapiens…. they are not very inventive, they are not very artistic, they are not very good leaders, they don’t plan ahead so much, they desperately need friends, they commonly care a lot about what others think about them and don’t usually want to be different, etc. And they are not very smart either.

Asperger is a “diagnosis” alright, and you either have it or you don’t, but the traits that identify an Asperger are many, and you don’t have to have all of them, or all of them to such a degre that you would have been given the “diagnosis” Asperger had you been examined for this, in order to be seen as having a European mind. In Europe we can even see entire tribes thinking much like Aspergers. The most obvious example is of course Finland, but also the Scandinavians are very much behaving like Aspergers on a collective level. They e. g. more or less need to intoxicate themselves with alcohol in order to even communicate with each other on a “modern” (…) level, and see a week or two alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere as the best holiday there is – away from all others, and the less electricity and running water there is the better!

And why not? Do you think our nomadic forebears were so very sociable? Do you think Europe was so very crowded that wherever they turned they bumped into others? No! They were very much alone, in small groups (families), and only talked to others every now and then, when they met them most commonly in pre-arranged meeting places (to exchange news and not least to find spouces for their children). The ultra-social and highly un-European societies we live in today are very alien to our European nature! No wonder why we need to intoxicate ourselves to “work” in accordance with modern social rules!

Now, these “Asperger tribes” up there in Northern Europe also happen to be the most racially pure tribes of Europe, with the most Neanderthal features. So why would they not also have the highest percentage of Asperger (Neanderthal) “symptoms”?

Post-homo sapiens-infected Europe was a changed society, but the more or less mixed Europeans were for sure able to still recognize those good old European mental characteristics, and this brings us back to The Princess and the Pea. To keep and even cultivate these European qualities they created systems to find them; and this explains the coming of the European religion, grown out from the Neanderthal Bear Cult. In The Princess and the Pea we see that they wanted to see if she was hyper-sensitive; if she could feel the pea under those 20 mattresses and those 20 featherbeds. When she could feel the pea, and even failed to sleep because of it, they knew that she for sure was a true European, and not just European by looks – so the prince wanted to marry her! You see: these Neanderthal characteristics are passed on from parents to children…

Most of the Europeans who also look European are also more European in mind than they are African, even though they are not and probably would not be diagnosed as “Aspergers”, but many “Europeans” are really not mentally European.

Just like we ensure that the best amongst us survive in context with beauty/health, physical strength, creative abilities, intelligence, honesty, courage and so forth, we must ensure that we cultivate the European way of thinking and being too. The only way to do so is to embrace the European religion, which was made for this very purpose in the wake of the mixing of species (starting some 100,000 years ago). The European religion is a tool to heal Europe, and to restore the European man, in flesh and spirit, in blood and mind. HailaR WôðanaR!

~Varg
 
I love how I'm suddenly a massive Testament fanboy when just a few months ago, TechBarb was commenting on how I hated them (or maybe just Chuck Billy's voice) just because I said Chuck doesn't have a great singing range. I like the band, I think they have their own sound and that to write them off as completely generic is unfair at best, or aping common consensus at worst.

The only thing Testament REALLY has in common with Metallica is that they built many of their songs on the kind of riffing style that afaik "Damage Inc" invented (at least in a metal context), that really rapid but tight syncopated kind of stuff that tends to sound something like dut dutahlut dut-dutahlut. There is a riff about three minutes into Apocalyptic City where they take the proto-melodeath riff of Damage Inc and basically play it backwards, so I'm obviously not denying a tangible influence. I'm just saying that what influence they did take (from arguably the most influential metal band of the 80s) was not mere copy-cat stuff, but a progression on it. The evolution of that riffing style from Damage Inc, to early Testament, to other thrash bands like Sacrifice and Believer, to melodeath period Carcass, to The Haunted and metalcore is really apparent. The album doesn't resemble Ride the Lightning at all.

You could apply the jumping-ship to other bands too. Of course some people will want to follow the money. Aside from Damage Inc in particular as mentioned above, who do you think Testament sounds like on the first two albums?

Well honestly Metallica mostly, but I dont think I ever said they were a 'clone' band by nature. Testament were somewhat unique in that they basically defined the sound of 'standard thrash' without injecting their own sense of style or being overly punk influenced. Yea, I am kind of making the claim that they are "completely generic", but considering this was without precedent at the time, maybe you could just say that they just havent aged that well? The first two albums are decent. These guys can play really well, easily on par with or better than other bands in the thrash scene, but I find most of their material rather forgettable, which to me is more important than looking at the technicalities of their style.