Could God?

[dreaming neon darkspot]

Originally posted by Lord of Metal
Here's a jesus one: Could Jesus drank so much wine that he himself could not walk on water?

That reminds me of something my chemistry teacher said once.
He was doing this experiment which,as he said,involved "changing water to wine",it was something with acids and bases.One of the kids in the class asked out like,"Like Jesus?",though I think he might've been joking.So the teacher said[deadpan] "Yeah,then I'm going to go outside and walk on water."[/deadpan].After he preformed the experiment,he told us,"But,unlike other so-called miracle workers,I can change the wine back to water."So he was basically saying that Jesus is a fraud or a so-called miracle worker.I think that was one of the most amusing things I've ever heard one of my teachers say,making a joke at jesus.He's probobly jewish...I'm pretty sure he used to be a pothead,too.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

:Smokedev: \m/potheads\m/:Smokedev:

 

[famousamoswillkillyou]

There's a lot of shit "God" can't do. Truthfully including making Linkin Park go away. If there were a God, that wouldn't happen.

God can't feed starving people, he can't heal the sick, etc. Bastard doesn't exist.

 

[neal]

so the guy says to jesus "if you drop that fucking cross one more time im kicking your ass out of this parade!!"
-neal

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

 

[PlatypusJesus]

Jesus was a fraud. Think about how easy it would be to trick people back then and make them believe that you turned water in to wine, "Ok, here is water, now, turn around, yeah, turn around, ok, now, turn back around, and there you have it, wine." He also knew that he would become the most famous person in the world if he died on a cross for *our sins*.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

The best was on SOUTH PARK

Jesus vs David Blaine

 

[neal]

i think i saw that one but i cant remember it.
-neal

 

[PlatypusJesus]

Yeah, that's what I was referring to with the water to wine part.

 

[Ecstatic Youth]

Originally posted by Guerrilla
How come you refer to god as a she? Trust me if there was a god he'd be a MAN. Yeah he'd have you little bitches washing his feet and giving him blowjobs all day long.

haven't you ever seen Dogma?
Think Smith.


........i'd do Pink any day of the week.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

Dogma was great. Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; great movies.

 

[ledmag]

The riddle isnt intended to be funny.

God cant get lost. If he is all powerfull, and he created everything, and he knows everything, then he cant get lost.

If he is all powerfull, he could wipe out starvation if he wanted, that ddoesnt mean he couldnt do it.

You know its all a big joke anyway. Its a good one to use on Christains.

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

So that's what all of these little Christian manipualtions believe?That their God could wipe out starvation,disease,etc. but that he just DOESN'T WANT TO?What,is it God's way of punishing them for their sins in order to bring them closer to him;so,by making them starve,he's really doing them a favor?I hope that there is no one stupid enough to tell me that something like that is what they believe.
Okay,here's one-
Could god convince an intelligent person that he(meaning god)exists?Or at least convince me?If god would like to come down here and try to convince me that he is real,then he could find a cure for cancer...but since he's a lazy,arrogant basterd,and he doesn't want to,I'll just continue not to believe he exists.

 

[TrueBeliever]

No, he couldn't if he was real, because I don't really believe that things I can touch, see, smell, hear, and taste really exist either.

 

[ledmag]

DNDS>>>Well, myth or not, the christains believe that god can do anything. Even wipe out sickeness, starvation, etc.. Teh thing is, they think God gives them a choice, and doesnt interviene unless its for a lesson, or for a true prayer, or a test, etc. Sew what you reep if you will.
SOme think that bad ill, fortune whatever is all a big ass test from god. A test to see if they will be true. But if god knows it all, then why is a test even needed? SO, basically, he is a big guy in charge who lets his emplyees take advantage of him, and, make their own choices, travel the path they want to travel, etc, and in the end, the productive employees, they get a bonus, the ones who laid down on the job, they get the shaft.

Hey, thats what they believe.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

If God exists than he is a tyrant. He punishes those who don't believe in him for all eternity. No matter if they are good people they still are punished, but those who worship him can commit all of the sins they wish and get away with them. Also, Satan is really more important to Christianity than God. Whoever came up with the idea of Hell and Satan was a very intelligent person. Not only does Satan allow all good Christians and preachers to have a being to blame all of their sins on, but he also creates fear in people and turns them into Christians. Because if they don't believe in God, they are going to burn.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

Ever notice that if you ask a Christian a logical question, they will hide behind the Bible, even if you prove it false.

 

[ledmag]

Inever said you were wrong.

Just that thats what the C's believe

 

[ledmag]

LOM>>Yeah, i ask preachers a such, all sorts of weird ass questions, and they either choke, or get angry ahahahaha.

Try answering the door naked the next time the JW's come knocking hahahha.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

I would, but there aren't that many JW around here and those that are do not come out all the way where I live.