Dear diary: DT sucked ass

[Tritonus]

Siren: Do you honestlyt believe that you can only love a GF or BF and that it is the only kinda love there is? You can love a pet, a riend, your parents, sports, the look of somebody beautiful, food etc. And if you do not love things, but hate everything, then that some kind of anti-love and that is an important emotion too.... Without love, yes, then you're dead.

If you do not wish to see hate as a kind of love, then don't and I say instead. If you do not love you're dead or just really depressed.

I can take this to the chatthead whenever you like.

I just cannot believe that you can think that anything is more important than love, and to sacrifice it for something as unimportant as elses expectations is just stupid. I realize that I cannot spell anything today, since I'm fuckin tired after 4 hours of karate.

 

[Tritonus]

Undo: Never heard of it, but would like to. And when did you talk to him?

 

[rahvin]

The difference between love as what happens in a relationship and love as what you might feel for a relative or house pet is just semantics: we can call them with two different names if it helps clearing up the confusion. But I believe Siren was talking specifically about the kind of emotion you feel for a significant other. I'd agree that it seems pretty hard to live without strong feelings or a sense of belonging towards some other human being, be it a friend or a parent.

However, even when it comes to the more intimate and emotional kind of love, one might feel that there's more to life than that. I'm with Siren on this: some can choose to focus on being an all-giving fluff machine, but others can set different priorities. I don't believe either choice makes your life easier/harder, true/false, better/worse.

 

[Tritonus]

Well there IS more to life, BUT I still do believe that there is nothing greater then love and that it is the most important i life. I do believe that it is what we live for and that when we are really taken by breath you will do anything. You should, is my believe and now I am talking about the love you feel towards a person you FALL in love with.

I can take an example just to set our oppinions straight.

Take a young gril, like me for example, and an a bit older guy, say you Rahvin. I do not know how old you are, but say you're 30. Say you love me and you I love you and say my parents would forbid me from seeing you and my whole family would be ashamed of such a Lolita in the family. Say also that you would get fired from work, cause we can say that you're a higher standing person - a politician for example or maybe you're my teacher? All your friends wouöld find you a repulsive person and both yours and my reputation will be destroyed.

Should you not sacrifise everything for love then?

 

[plintus]

Hey, don't mix perversion und "feeling"

In any case - this all is sentimental shit, everyone has different priorities in life (and afterlife), so if one wants to travel half the world one way and marry another forum member - fine, good luck to them both, but the world wouldn't lose or gain anything if it didn't know about it.

"Hey, I'm travelling from A to B to meet X, and it's so cool... and we are IN LOV!!!1!"

Oh yeah?

In general... it's a different story every time, and it's up to one (and one only) to decide what impact that feeling is going to have on one's life.

But fuck all that - I have a plane to catch. And every "now" and "today" is the most important thing, more important than love for the rest of eternity. Don't waste your life on someone before getting one

Arrivederci a presto!

 

[VultureCulture]

sorry, i was just imagining that odd couple

as i have seen in the past, i can't love people like i did when i was an adolescent, since then i didn't care about tomorrow, gave 125% of myself for a relationship. right now it's maybe 50%. you tend to get more guarded over the years, you try to evade all the smelly pots of shit you tapped in previously. that makes you more reserved, more suspicious. and since you got something to lose, you might not even consider looking for love, since it's much too time-consuming, tiring, and 95% of the time leads to the same result. right now i don't see why i should go through all this trouble.
[cheese]but then again, if you're looking for love you'll never find it [/cheese]

so, back to your post, tritonus, yes, there are more important things in life. love wears out, much faster than a job actually. if you're lucky it will come out as an intimate friendship, if not, well... it just gets boring.

 

[VultureCulture]

edit: and something to our soon-to-be-wedded couple: obviously i wouldn't do it, but i admire people who are sure of themselves in that matter. even if you split up, and even if everyone will say "i told you so", if "right now" it's the decision you feel is right, don't let anyone hinder you.

 

[Tritonus]

sorry, i was just imagining that odd couple

Hahaha, it was so an example. So you do not think me and Rahvin will ever get married?

You know, if I WOULD have been in love with Rahvin I would have gone for it. Maybe he is starting to feel a bit ill now

so, back to your post, tritonus, yes, there are more important things in life. love wears out, much faster than a job actually. if you're lucky it will come out as an intimate friendship, if not, well... it just gets boring.

I think that is crap. How can you even compare love with something as meaningless as a job?

 

[VultureCulture]

i compared average duration of a job to duration of an average relationship (a.k.a. love). and if you argue on that base, you'd have to say that the job has higher priority because it lasts longer.

 

[Tritonus]

This was what I was going to say, but I realised that it was rather dumb:

"I can agree that you can get more out of a job then the AVARAGE realtionchip, but then you can as well compare it with chocolate. Hell yeah! Score everytime! You can do nothing bu enjoy it. I would say that chocolate is more important then work then."

Glad I never said it. It would be spitting on your point

 

[Taliesin]

You seem to think so high of love Im wondering if you've ever been in a relationship Tritonus.

I think VC is being a bit dramatic or at least too negative, but it's true that love kinda gets drowned in every day things. Love is not an ever-powerful beacon that will shower you with heavenly feelings, you have to constantly invest and work to keep it going. That doesnt mean my relation is not rewarding or on the verge of breaking up, love is just nothing that will throw itself at your feet.

 

[Tritonus]

Course I've never been in a serious realtionchip. Like I've said before I am a poor fucker who does not attract anyhing less that weirdoes, but I have very firm principals. I do not imagine unrealistic thoughts about such a thing a relationchips, but I am a fighter for everyone who decides to love and let go, and yes oh yes. I do know what it is like to love. Love and be heartbroken, but I do know.

 

[Taliesin]

There is nothing wrong with your principles, but like I said, most people have thoughts and beliefs in love like yours until they find themselves in a relationship for the first time. Love needs a lot of work. You can still ask a lot from it if you're willing to invest a lot as well.

To answer your question whether one should sacrifice everything for someone: There is nothing like "The One". You will find someone you're happy with, somewhere, but in the end love is just feelings, hormones if you like. A zynic may say that love isnt any more real than a drug rush is, so no, sacrificing everything for someone may be very romantic, but it would also be very stupid.
Love is a feeling, but love is also decision, love is responsibility.

I still think love is very important, but the first thing you'll learn about love is that it's far from "pre-made", you'll have to make compromises, you'll have to adjust to your partner, you may find yourself in situations where you cant do what you'd like to, say go out with a good male friend. Love is still great though

 

[fireangel]

Take a young gril, like me for example, and an a bit older guy, say you Rahvin.

best entertainment evah.

 

[GONE Ridin' Hood]

There is nothing wrong with your principles, but like I said, most people have thoughts and beliefs in love like yours until they find themselves in a relationship for the first time. Love needs a lot of work. You can still ask a lot from it if you're willing to invest a lot as well.

To answer your question whether one should sacrifice everything for someone: There is nothing like "The One". You will find someone you're happy with, somewhere, but in the end love is just feelings, hormones if you like. A zynic may say that love isnt any more real than a drug rush is, so no, sacrificing everything for someone may be very romantic, but it would also be very stupid.
Love is a feeling, but love is also decision, love is responsibility.

I still think love is very important, but the first thing you'll learn about love is that it's far from "pre-made", you'll have to make compromises, you'll have to adjust to your partner, you may find yourself in situations where you cant do what you'd like to, say go out with a good male friend. Love is still great though

I totally agree with ye, except on the part of the one (ring hehe). I do believe that "the one" for ye does exist. I believe my girlfriend is the one for me, since I don't believe I will ever find anyone that could have so much patience to be with me. I mean, any other girl would have left me by now (just because I'm diabetic hehe). She really cares for me, and I really care for her.

So yes, I do believe there is "one" for each of us, you just have to look hard if ye don't find him/her, and he/she'll come when ye least expect it. It will come rather "uneXpected" (Get it Kat? Rampy? 6 String? Anyone?)

 

[rahvin]

Take a young gril, like me for example, and an a bit older guy, say you Rahvin. I do not know how old you are, but say you're 30. Say you love me and you I love you and say my parents would forbid me from seeing you and my whole family would be ashamed of such a Lolita in the family. Say also that you would get fired from work, cause we can say that you're a higher standing person - a politician for example or maybe you're my teacher? All your friends wouöld find you a repulsive person and both yours and my reputation will be destroyed.

Should you not sacrifise everything for love then?

You certainly could, but I don't know that you should.

See, I'm really not as negative as KC when it comes to love, and probably not even as negative as VultureCulture. On a personal level, you'd find me agreeing to most of your points concerning what is subjectively more important: I know I'm more interested in a satisfying relationship than, say, a brilliant career. There are still places I won't go in order to make a relationship last, though, and my job is one of the things I don't think I would give up for any reason whatsoever. Still, I'm ok with the general sentiment expressed in your example: difficulties are there to be overcome by strong feelings, otherwise it's probably not worth it to be together.

But not all difficulties can be overcome, and the success of a relationship cannot be based on pure emotions, but also on the chances of it to work out in real life. Emotions - in my opinion - are supposed find room to grow and nourishment in the circumstances of your life. When everything is against you, it could mean there is something wrong in the way you're conceiving your relationship. Even if you start out with only the purest of hearts and the best of intentions, you cannot change reality to suit your needs. Chances are reality will alter you enough that what you want and feel will change in your mind to something more acceptable (or accepted).

And I'm also not entirely convinced about "The One" arguments. Certainly there are people we can get along with more easily, and there's also probably a certain someone in our surroundings who represents the best opportunity for a relationship at a certain point in time. But when/if everything goes wrong you can always try again with someone else, maybe in a different kind of relationship, maybe after some time has passed. I wouldn't say it's all so eventual that it's either that person or sudden death.

By the way, you got it almost right: I'm 29. And I'm in a relationship with someone considerably younger than me. That's where the similarities end, though, since her dad comes to install air conditioning at my place, I'm not a politician, I won't get fired and I'm not her teacher (although I did train her at my working place for a while), and I guess my friends find me a little less repulsive for going out with her.

 

[KitKat]

I don't think age is important, AT ALL.
As long as you are major of age...

 

[Tritonus]

I do believe that "the one" for ye does exist. I believe my girlfriend is the one for me, since I don't believe I will ever find anyone that could have so much patience to be with me.

I know I wouldn't ... I believe kinda in The One, since I think there is more to life than what we see. I think such a thought as faith is cool.

I don't think age is important, AT ALL.
As long as you are major of age...

But this being of age-thing is rediculous, almost... It is all about being mature and being able to take responsible for your actions. I think there should never be a rule that say. "If you have sex with a girl who is 17 and you're 20 you are a rapist!" People's thoughts are coming to that and I do not like that.

Rahv, Tal: I see what you are doing. You're just being completely logic. There is nothing wrong with that, but If I would look at the world as you do I would find it dull. I do not say that yours are, but at least I need to see things from a more dreaming point of view, hence my opinions.

And yes I believe in love at first sight, I believe in the One and in sacryficing everything. That's the way I want the world to be., and I do not say that all is right, for example the One, but yeah. There should be at least that much to life.

Rahv: So I guess we could get married, after all, if you would be single then...

 

[Villain]

I should probably not even participate in this discussion, but having read Tritonus' hilariously idealistic view of love I want to express my own, a little less idealistic, viewpoint.

Call me a cynic, but I don't find any value in love. It is nothing but an annoying state of mind that forces you to make wrong decisions without thinking about the consequences first. I believe no-one should ever sacrifice anything for love; it is simply a waste. If the woman of my dreams appeared in front of me and said she would love me 'til the end of my life if I, say, stopped listening to DT - I would dump her without a second thought. And no, I'm not saying DT is the most important thing in my life here. The same applies to dozens of other things I would not trade for love.

I value friendship, I value the closeness I share with certain people. I care about many people and many things. And I find it important that there are people who care about me. But love? Bah. Love would just make me neglect all the really important things in my life; I'd rather live without.

Then again, perhaps I have never felt real love as some people call it, so perhaps I just don't know what I'm talking about. Perhaps there's something more to this whole love-thingy, something that people seem to value terribly high but I fail to understand. I have thought that I've been in love a couple of times for very short periods (a few weeks at max) and I've always felt regret afterwards - not because of the relationship but because of everything else that I neglected those times. But perhaps it wasn't real love, perhaps I was just mistaken? I don't know for sure. Nevertheless, as of now, I can't see much good in love, while I can see plenty of good things in my current life.

-Villain

 

[Tritonus]

I should probably not even participate in this discussion, but having read Tritonus' hilariously idealistic view of love I want to express my own, a little less idealistic, viewpoint.

Call me a cynic, but I don't find any value in love. It is nothing but an annoying state of mind that forces you to make wrong decisions without thinking about the consequences first. I believe no-one should ever sacrifice anything for love; it is simply a waste. If the woman of my dreams appeared in front of me and said she would love me 'til the end of my life if I, say, stopped listening to DT - I would dump her without a second thought. And no, I'm not saying DT is the most important thing in my life here. The same applies to dozens of other things I would not trade for love.

I don't believe that for one second, and I think you sound like I did 2 or 3 years ago. I was about 14 then....

And yes, my point of view is "hilariously idealistic" and it is maybe a bit ridiculous, but when your in there you cannot be stopped, and why not use it as something good when you can instead of wasting it for other material surcumstances.

What I mean is, that I have loved 1 time and only 1 time, for real. That person did not want me at all. Tough shit. If I would get the opportunity to love somebody that way again and have that person loving me the same way, a would never in the world considder me nothing else then a fool for throwing it away. If I where you Villain I would not stop listening to DT either. I would probaly do it so he/she could not hear me. Of course, some people are loved by almost everybody and have got loads of chances to waste, but I would or heaven's sake not do it and to get to the point we left. I think you should not ask UC and Rince to do so either. I am exagerating
a bit, but my point is at least clear..