I agree, but to a certain extent. If the band is very satanic in nature, I will not impose my like of the band on a person who is very religious, just as I would not want him/her to impose his/her beliefs on me.
If the death/grindcore metal band is very heavy or has an offending name (Dying Fetus, Pissing Razors, Anal Cunt), I'm not even going to push it on someone I know would be offended.
I have played Opeth and Death (the band) in my co-workers car with no problems. I knew the lyrics were not offensive, so I thought it was "safe" to do so. As a matter of fact, this co-worker was quite impressed with the musicianship of these bands.