Originally posted by Opet
Jannet: oh, and did I mention you're not an ideal parent?"
It's obvious that if these words were used how you took them that it'd be a huge insult. But, after countless times of Lina explaining her actual meaning in detail, you continue to hold that as a sole reason to...continue this charade. 
The evening trees moan as if they knew.
No, dear. Where you got this quote I don't know, but this is how it really went:
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Originally posted by Jannet
And it's really hard to not be there for your kids when you have to have two jobs to make ends meet! Do you have any idea how much daycare costs these days? Lots of money. In addition to all the bills of the house, food, rent/mortgage, entertainment, sports, etc?
Lina: Exactly. So why did you have a child when you weren't financially secure? I recall you saying you were on welfare. Where's all this common sense you claim to have?
Originally posted by Jannet
How do hell do you know I wasn't financially secure when I had my child? You have no idea when I needed the assistance (1 year, 2 years, 3 years later, hmm?). You have no idea what my current living situation was.
Lina: I think your son is 8, correct? And seeing as how you're 31 now (right?), and you've just recently achieved financial security (I believe you said this), I'm assuming your child and your welfare payments overlapped at some point. Please, correct me if I'm wrong. At any rate, even if you weren't on welfare when you had him, you obviously weren't financially secure. So why did you have him? Did you think it was your right to have a child? Did you think you could raise him on "unconditional love"? Don't laud parents who work two jobs to feed their children. They shouldn't have kids if they can't afford them. And no, simply clothing and feeding them does not a parent make.
Originally posted by Jannet
Where does common sense play in your argument? Are you saying that a person on welfare doesn't have common sense?
Lina: Yes.
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Originally posted by Jannet
Not all parents are financially secure when they have a child. Unexpected expenses can come up (even middle class/rich people may have this problem - think 2nd mortgage?) And there are parents that are financially secure when they have the child but because of unexpected things that happen can become financially insecure AFTER they have the kid.
Lina: Yes, all of this is true. But it's not your story, is it?
Originally posted by Jannet
Really? How you figure this? Why would you think I wasn't financially secure when I had him? I would like to know...
Lina: Let's see, you've told us that you've had some very hard times financially in your adult life. You struggled to provide for your child. You are finally in a good job (which I take to mean you've had lots of shitty jobs). And you have yet to explain otherwise. So just admit that you weren't financially ready to have a child. Then again, we probably have different definitions of "financially ready," since you strike me as the type that probably doesn't have a college fund set up for him yet.
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Originally posted by Jannet
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Yes, all of this is true. But it's not your story, is it? And it doesn't negate the fact that someone in forseeable dire financial straits shouldn't have kids.
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Why would you think it's not my story? I would like to know. And no, it doesn't negate the forseeable dire financial straits, that's why I said "UNEXPECTED."
Lina: You somehow always manage to mangle everything everyone says. I'm not talking about negating the financial straits -- I'm saying unexpected financial upset suffered by some upper-class family doesn't negate the fact that people on (or close to being on) welfare shouldn't have children.
Sheesh. I think your plan of attack here is to exasperate people into not arguing with you.
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Originally posted by Jannet
No Lina. I haven't tried to attack anyone. You've implied that I'm some lacking common sense welfare has-been that doesn't give a shit about her kid (i.e., "since you strike me as the type that probably doesn't have a college fund set up for him yet"). How dare you?
Lina: Well, have you set up a fund? I'm not saying you're an awful parent, just not an ideal parent. And I wouldn't be saying anything at all if you didn't go around yapping like you're fucking brilliant.
I didn't want to be on welfare, but I had no choice! I was on for about 7 months, and that's it! I took the opportunity to go to college at this time and worked on my education!
Lina: I commend you for going to college, I really do. You got your life together, and for that you should be congratulated.
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I didn't have a parent that had any college fund ready for me, so I had to struggle and bust my ass to get what I wanted!
Lina: And yet, you're repeating the same mistakes your parents made. And you still don't see the correlation. What a shame, the cycle shall continue.
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This is all it's been. One big fucking argument with three separate people. I don't WANT to argue.
Lina: And what (or who) has been the common denominator of these fights?
