If you could offer one sentence of advice to your 13-year old self..

[drew_drummer]

^ I totally botched that one

she literally got undressed down to nothing but her thong right in front of me and crawled in my bed and said it was kinda cold in my bedroom ...

I fucking turned the heat up higher and then slept on the couch

hahahaaha. You gaylord.

 

[MarcusGHedwig]

Bahahahaha, reminds me of that add where the dude comes home to find rose petals on the stairs, disappears, and comes back with the vacuum cleaner

 

[Skinny Viking]

and to make it worse, she was a total metal chick. We used to call her the "Iced Earth" chick cause she would almost always dance to Iced Earth tunes although she mixed it up with a good dose of classic Anthrax / Slayer / ect ...

AND!!!! ..... She moved out of state 2 months later

I fucking blew it

 

[jipchen]

12 years from now when that really hot stripper that really likes you asks if she can crash at your place after hanging out with you all night bar hopping and she crawls into your bed in nothing but her thong ...

DON'T TRY TO BE A SUCH A FUCKING GENTLEMAN AND SLEEP ON THE GODDAMN COUCH!!!! SHE WANTED DICK!!! SHE WANTED YOUR DICK!!!!

EDIT: Oh yeah, invest in that Apple stuff

I'm sure your wife appreciates this post

(But yeah, missing out on these obvious "bone me" offers sucks. Did it twice, and my penis hates me for that - hehe)

 

[Skinny Viking]

I'm sure your wife appreciates this post

(But yeah, missing out on these obvious "bone me" offers sucks. Did it twice, and my penis hates me for that - hehe)

I'm sure your boyfriend appreciates THIS post Max!

If my wife ever read this post, she would totally understand because one of the 1st compliments she ever gave me was on what a gentleman she thought I was

So in a way, I feel vindicated

 

[Harry Hughes]

Ahh damn Carlos, definitely made me laugh and simultaneously feel bad for ya.
Can't say I was ever THAT oblivious to signals given off by a girl that liked me

 

[Ermz]

Quit school after year 10 and intern at studios/hone your music/production skills instead of wasting another two years of your youth you'll never get back memorizing academic regurgitations.

Also, fuck everything that moves.

 

[jipchen]

I'm sure your boyfriend appreciates THIS post Max!

If my wife ever read this post, she would totally understand because one of the 1st compliments she ever gave me was on what a gentleman she thought I was

So in a way, I feel vindicated

Haha, I totally understand you. While I still think it's a dick move not to be a gentleman in certain situations (very drunk chicks, chicks who are lonely because they just got dumped and feel all vulnerable because of it), now I would bone her given the situation of an obvious free pass again.. These happenings are *very* rare unfortunately.

 

[antiheroinc]

i was thinking about this the other day

1. when the doctors put you on new pills, research them/don't take them if you can
2. stay away from 'that' girl and find someone else at 16, you'll spend too many years in pain despite the amazing moments together.
3. don't set fire to that assholes car at 16
4. go out and talk to more people, you'll become more and more of a social outcast over the coming years
5. don't get into the fistfight at 15 when you break both your hands (the 2nd time), your guitar playing will improve

and i dunno if i should add this as im still undecided on that outcome

6. take the job offer with Jaguar Australia at 17 and move to melbourne.

 

[Chryst Krispies]

Have you people learned nothing from Back to the Future....

DON'T GO BACK IN TIME DUMMIES.

 

[drew_drummer]

Have you people learned nothing from Back to the Future....

DON'T GO BACK IN TIME DUMMIES.

Ooh La La.

 

[professorlamp]

fuck more women and don't get those dreadlocks

 

[MarkG]

Don't rush masturbation
You will have a loving girlfriend in 9 years, so stop being so depressed

I don't regret the other stuff

 

[Mago]

I'd tell him to drop everything and head over to Carlos' place and bang that stripper chick that gaylord just missed out on
I counted a bit, and I think the time frame would fit more or less, plus mines a few moths
"head over you little wanking mofo and score what that dude will miss out on!!

+ stop beeing so lazy and practice a bit more, so you wont have to clean up your fucked up picking technique

 

[Skinny Viking]

I'm not sure if the math is in your favor Marco

That happened roughly when I was about 25. Given the fact that you're about 15 years younger than me that would put you at about having 1 hair on your nuts at the time ... maybe

Other than that, if I woke up that night and saw some strange austrian dude banging the naked stripper I should have been banging in my OWN bed, well, considering how bad I messed everything else up that night I probably would have just shut the door and cooked you guys breakfast in the morning

-Gaylord

 

[Mago]

damn math forgot about that you allready had BD and made you one year younger and myself older...11 yrsold it would have been (1998)...dunno how I landed on 2000

also thinking about it, would look strange the next morning asking you for some hot chocolate instead of a cigarette

 

[Cheesebone]

I'd send myself the winning lottery numbers to a big-score from last year. I don't think I'd have had a clue what to do with the money if I'd won it back when I was 20 or so, but I NOW (or a year ago) I know exactly what I'd do with it and I'd be mature enough to handle it properly, lol.

 

[Line666]

Carlos I never realised you were like late thirties, I had you down as late twenties.

Put in Marcos situation the 8 year old me would be telling you that girls are gross anyway and where do you keep the video games.

 

[Skinny Viking]

^ Yup, I'mma gettin old chief

Still don't look 37 according to just about everyone who knows me so I guess I'm still hanging in ok

 

[Star Ark]

"Screw as many girls as you can"

Now that I'm 27 all I wanna do is screw high school girls but its illegal.

If you think about it our memories are the only way to legally view kiddie porn, never again can I watch a 17 year old hottie naked, but I'm aloud to remember the one chick I was with for 3 years when I was 17. Fuck as many as you can and you ensure a life time of illegal porn memories. (I am half kidding here but I'm also half serious)

It's alot harder finding an in shape, enthusianstic and fresh 30 year old women. Most are jaded and over the fun part of relationships and just want to talk about babies and wedding dresses and go out to dinner with other couples. Boring....