I'm just bored and want to start a new thread.

[SeedAwakeningMachine]

And it's not about nevermore lyrics this time, nope... this time... it's about some lyrics i wrote an hour ago for my band.

STAINS OF LUNACY

I see them every day
Releasing their inner madness
Screaming in schizophrenic pain
Deep inside, a whisper of sadness
chaos breed inside of me
formed by every living being
day after day, night after night
their mentality twist my dreams

Within my walls, resides the realm of panic
Bloody handprints painted on my walls
downward spiralling into illness,
the screams echo eternally in my halls

I feel their stains of lunacy
Corroding my surface of mental stabilization
Imprisoned from life’s realities
Controlled by self inflicted hallucinations

Waves entangled in disorder
Deep in their maze of psychotic terror
Malignant delusive shapes
Forming their daily horrors
Exploring their frightening minds
Their screams I cannot bare
I’ve seen the root of their thoughts
Into their eyes I’ve stared

Suicide and depression I witness
In a place completely formed by madness
Confusion and disarray forms their minds
Twisting the lives of mankind

I feel their stains of lunacy
Corroding my surface of mental stabilization
Imprisoned from life’s realities
Controlled by self inflicted hallucinations



Discuss (non constructive criticism like "you suck, fuck off" will be ignored)

 

[RedKef]

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

apparently.

Hoes, Dave. Dave, hoes.
​

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

hehe, Nevermore of Mike.

(yes, i get it. my initial interpretation just amused me).
​

 

[Burti]

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

Siggied.

 

[neal]

aww redkef has a fan! thats adorable.

 

[Lunar Still]

apparently.

Hoes, Dave. Dave, hoes.
​

Evenin' bitches.

 

[Burti]

Neal, not really.

I just dig that episode of Chapelle. If I wanted to start a fanclub, it'd be at 4chan.

 

[Ghost of Red Dragon]

i'm bored

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

why dont you go see what happens when you drink a few gallons of drain cleaner?

 

[derek]

If it's anything like Father Ted, it'll be hilarious.

 

[El Stormo]

I see them every day
Releasing their inner madness
Screaming in schizophrenic pain
Deep inside, a whisper of sadness

Within my walls, resides the realm of panic
Bloody handprints painted on my walls
downward spiralling into illness,
the screams echo eternally in my halls

You may want to change this.

Also:

Their screams I cannot bare -> bear

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

Consider changing that last line to "the screams echo pleasantly on my balls".

 

[El Stormo]

Consider changing that last line to "the screams echo pleasantly on my balls".

Ah! And you thought our criticism wouldn't be constructive!

 

[Ghost of Red Dragon]

If it's anything like Father Ted, it'll be hilarious.

when i was little i went through a phase of drinking every liquid i could find
i kept throwing up because i kept drinking liquids that weren't beverages
when my mom was in her Rx pill induced almost coma for several years
my babysitters kept leaving random non-beverage liquids where i could get to them
i had to go to er/drink ipecac alot for a while

 

[Lunar Still]

when i was little i went through a phase of drinking every liquid i could find

I think we should all just sit back and admire this for a while.

 

[JBroll]

Indeed.

Jeff