"It's not you, it's me"

[LordNeil]

WHY do people say things like this? Have you ever had a relationship or connection with someone, then they suddenly break it off, saying lame-ass things like this or even worse, nothing at all? What were some of the halfbrain things peopel have said to you to break off a relationship?

"We can still be friends"

and shit like that makes me ill

 

[demon talented]

It depends on the situation... I can't say it always happens, but I think sometimes people break off relationships because they are ironically fearful of the relationship ending. A self-fulfilled prophesy of some sort.

 

[Metal88]

It's pretty simple, but not easy. The person breaking it off feels bad about no longer wanting to be in the relationship so this is how they think they are making it easier on you. Whether you know it or not, I think they actually ARE making it easier on you. Bear in mind that if you really like this person it's not going to be easy though, no matter what. There is no solution to your pain but time. And time will take care of it. But hearing "It's not you it's me" or some other thing that you know is just bullshit is a lot better than if they said "Well, my preferences have changed and I think you're ugly now" or "Well, your cock is too small" And when they say "we can still be friends" -- that's obviously just stupid, but you're best off to just say "yeah of course" even though you know that in reality you will just fade from each other's lives. There is no need to state the "truth" to each other b/c really, you both already know it. I know how it can bug you though, I've surely been in your position. Today I feel very confident in any "dating" situation no matter what happens, and I have this confidence b/c I have experience from being in so many situations exactly as you've described. Just try to take it easy and move on to someone else, this won't be the last time this happens to you, but you'll handle it better each time it does happen.

To answer your question, some of the stupid ass things I've heard:

"I have to focus on my studying so I can become a doctor" -- this particular bitch said this as a Junior in HS and currently she lives with her husband in his parents house, with a baby.

"My life is just so busy right now! I wish we could have met like, a few months from now, then it would have worked out great! Be sure to call me b/c we're still friends!" -- I told her the ball was in her field and she could call me. She agreed that was logical. I never heard from her again. Hahaha

"I was in the shower, didn't hear you call" -- apparantly this girl showers all 16 hours of the day she isn't asleep.

"No." -- This one sucks, but at least they're honest!

 

[yourdeadgroom]

Originally posted by LordNeil
Have you ever had a relationship or connection with someone, then they suddenly break it off, saying lame-ass things like this or even worse, nothing at all?

Herein lies the problem of posing this question here- Too many of us are sad gits that haven't had a proper relationship (or even an improper one ), so do not expect many answers.

 

[Static]

Well I'm in my first relationship now and I hope that this doesn't happen to me. At first she was like 'no I can't, my boyfriend in America would be angry', and that was a load of crap, hes across the ocean on the other side of the world for gods sake. Then she split with him on the phone and he went insane. Anyways, it turned out well for me cos now we're going out. Now if I could only get that bastard in Thailand to stop trying to break us up...

 

[DeadBaytar]

There was a Seinfeld episode nearly based on that comment. (The Lip Reader)

 

[Sullen Jester]

Heh... even, better, what the friends say AFTER the lame ass excuses..

"Don't worry, he/she isn't worth it/isn't that good/isn't up to your standards"...

What they don't realise is that they are insulting you.. "Don't worry, he was a worthless pig and he smelt like shit but the thing is thats all you are capable of attracting, because there are so many more people like him out there for you!"

 

[Leech]

you cant forget the classic " i love you but im not in love with you" line

i hate it when people use lame ass lines to break up with people.

 

[Kittarin]

Originally posted by Sullen Jester
Heh... even, better, what the friends say AFTER the lame ass excuses..

"Don't worry, he/she isn't worth it/isn't that good/isn't up to your standards"...

What they don't realise is that they are insulting you.. "Don't worry, he was a worthless pig and he smelt like shit but the thing is thats all you are capable of attracting, because there are so many more people like him out there for you!"

I TOTALLY agree with that. They think they're trying to help, but they make you feel like a big piece of no good.

My mom does that all the time after a relationship goes bad. And every insult she says about him, makes me feel a hundred times worse. Especially cause she makes things up.

 

[Lina]

Originally posted by Metal88
It's pretty simple, but not easy. The person breaking it off feels bad about no longer wanting to be in the relationship so this is how they think they are making it easier on you. Whether you know it or not, I think they actually ARE making it easier on you. Bear in mind that if you really like this person it's not going to be easy though, no matter what. There is no solution to your pain but time. And time will take care of it. But hearing "It's not you it's me" or some other thing that you know is just bullshit is a lot better than if they said "Well, my preferences have changed and I think you're ugly now" or "Well, your cock is too small" And when they say "we can still be friends" -- that's obviously just stupid, but you're best off to just say "yeah of course" even though you know that in reality you will just fade from each other's lives. There is no need to state the "truth" to each other b/c really, you both already know it.

This makes the second thing you're right on! (The first being the Coke-Pepsi debate.) No, seriously, good advice.

 

[Belial]

I don't understand. If you're not interested in the person, why not do him a favor and be forthright about it, instead of dragging it out or using pretty and cliched language, making it harder on the both of you?

 

[Lina]

Because people don't want to hear that they're ugly.

 

[mindflesh]

Originally posted by LordNeil
WHY do people say things like this? Have you ever had a relationship or connection with someone, then they suddenly break it off, saying lame-ass things like this or even worse, nothing at all? What were some of the halfbrain things peopel have said to you to break off a relationship?

"We can still be friends"

and shit like that makes me ill

Yeah I know that all too well. The problem with those "it's not you, it's me"-phrases is you don't know what you have done wrong so you don't know what you could do better the next time.

 

[Obyeybyeogone]

I like it even more when the person doesn't care about you enough to even make up an excuse, they just ditch you.

 

[Charlie E.]

Yea when a girl says something like that, its usually because she doesn't have the balls to tell you the truth.
This one girl stopped liking me because I cut my hair, and used the same line on me.
She'd appear much too shallow if she actually told me the truth of course.

 

[Obyeybyeogone]

The real question is... why did you cut your hair?

 

[ham]

wow
that makes me feel like shit
i broke up with my girlfriend 8 months ago stating that 'i don't really like you anymore, let alone have feelings for you. you're really a frustrating person to be with. sorry.'

 

[Izzy Junior]

Originally posted by ham

i broke up with my girlfriend 8 months ago stating that 'i don't really like you anymore, let alone have feelings for you. you're really a frustrating person to be with. sorry.'

Hahaha right on, bro!

You gotta be brutally honest with people. If you let 'em off light then the thought will dangle in their mind that maybe you still like them and may someday be willing to take them back.

If you're brutally honest and say "You give bad head" or something, they know it's over!

 

[manuelgv]

in my own experience I hav to say 2 things about that phrase:

1)when you say it it's kinda cool but when someone says it to you sucks big time
2)there are times when that phrase is for real and it's so fucking cliche that no one would ever believe it so you have to come up with something new

and that "let's be friends" is a bigger myth than santa claus.I have never met someone who loved another person and became friends instantly after they separate

 

[Pancakes]

I think the worst breakup line I've ever received was 'I had sex with your dog'