ok, so we hadn't had one in a while, here goes 
George Bush and his driver are driving in a rural area, and as they approach a farm, they run over a pig and kill it. Bush says to the driver: "Quick, go to the farm and tell them what happened, i'll wait here!"
A few hours later, he sees the driver come back to the car, completely drunk, his clothes all messed up, smoking a huge cigar, and holding a bottle of wine in each hand.
Bush asks: what the hell happened??? the driver says "well, the farmer gave me a cigar, his wife gave me some wine, and their daughter made love with me passionately for hours!" "wtf?? what did you tell them?" the driver answers: "well, i said: hi, i'm George Bush's driver, and i just killed the pig."
A woman is naked, looking at herself in the mirror. She says to her husband "i feel so ugly and fat and horrible.... i need a compliment to cheer me up!" The husband says: "You have good eyes."
At a catholic school, in the cafeteria there's a pile of apples on the counter. Beside it, there's a sign that says "Take only one, God is watching you". On the other end of the counter, there's a pile of chocolate cookies. Beside it, there's a piece of paper with a kid's handwriting that says "Take as much as you want, God is watching the apples".
Wilson-brand nails:
The president of Wilson nails inc. decides to make a commercial to boost the reputation of his products. He hires an advertising agency to have it done. They tell him "Watch channel 7 at 8:00 tomorrow morning." When he does, he is very shocked by what he sees. The commercial shows Jesus Christ nailed on his cross, and a narrating voice says "Wilson nails. Christ, they hold."
Furious, he calls the agency and yells at them to take that off the air and repair his company's reputation. So again they tell him "Watch channel 7 at 8:00 tomorrow."
So he waits to see the new commercial: it shows Jesus Christ running in the desert, his hands and his feet are bleeding, and roman soldiers are chasing him. The leader of the roman soldiers yelling "You bunch of fucking morons, i told you to use Wilson nails!!!!"
George Bush and his driver are driving in a rural area, and as they approach a farm, they run over a pig and kill it. Bush says to the driver: "Quick, go to the farm and tell them what happened, i'll wait here!"
A few hours later, he sees the driver come back to the car, completely drunk, his clothes all messed up, smoking a huge cigar, and holding a bottle of wine in each hand.
Bush asks: what the hell happened??? the driver says "well, the farmer gave me a cigar, his wife gave me some wine, and their daughter made love with me passionately for hours!" "wtf?? what did you tell them?" the driver answers: "well, i said: hi, i'm George Bush's driver, and i just killed the pig."
A woman is naked, looking at herself in the mirror. She says to her husband "i feel so ugly and fat and horrible.... i need a compliment to cheer me up!" The husband says: "You have good eyes."
At a catholic school, in the cafeteria there's a pile of apples on the counter. Beside it, there's a sign that says "Take only one, God is watching you". On the other end of the counter, there's a pile of chocolate cookies. Beside it, there's a piece of paper with a kid's handwriting that says "Take as much as you want, God is watching the apples".
Wilson-brand nails:
The president of Wilson nails inc. decides to make a commercial to boost the reputation of his products. He hires an advertising agency to have it done. They tell him "Watch channel 7 at 8:00 tomorrow morning." When he does, he is very shocked by what he sees. The commercial shows Jesus Christ nailed on his cross, and a narrating voice says "Wilson nails. Christ, they hold."
Furious, he calls the agency and yells at them to take that off the air and repair his company's reputation. So again they tell him "Watch channel 7 at 8:00 tomorrow."
So he waits to see the new commercial: it shows Jesus Christ running in the desert, his hands and his feet are bleeding, and roman soldiers are chasing him. The leader of the roman soldiers yelling "You bunch of fucking morons, i told you to use Wilson nails!!!!"
