Lets make Opeth jokes!

[Apoc]

Hehehe.. so has anyone got up with new ideas?

Q: How do Opeth perform a stereo check?
A: Someone just yell 'Martin'

AHAHAHAHEHAHEHAHEHAH!

 

[osse87]

Once upon upon a time, Martin Lopez had a cold, He sat by the Windowpane, peering through the looking-glass and trying to rid the desease by using The Twilight as a robe. He figured he could beat himself healthy again. His sticks were broken so he went to the forest of october to carve some new ones. In the mist he saw the face of melinda trying to fetch some water to a bucket silently. "Go to Blackwater Park". The water's much better there" Martin said. "Farewell".

Back home he said what he saw, the others were like "damnation, she's fine lookin'." "If only her body was mine to avail, I'd be beyond death". "Forget it Peter" Mikael said. "Just scream your sadness". "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" "I'm gonna get me some nectar to drink, my weakness is killing me!" "Your WEAKNESS ? You're a drummer, this must be a secret we keep within." the other Martin screamed. "Please remedy my confusion!!, I'm sick! My heart is weak, play a lullaby for me!" So the others played a lullaby. And martin felt sad by the pain he saw in lopez. Everybody were friends again, and Opeth are today still pumping out music from their genious minds, and they will until death is their beholder.

 

[Episode 666]

What happened when Mikael Akerfeldt tried to steal the amaranth symbol near the moor and got chased by the demon of the fall who wanted to punish Mikael by growing together with his skin?

Mikael tried to run away, run away, but in just one second was left with nothing.

Police told the press today that Akerfeldt was found weeping under the moon in the forest of october, apparently attempting to travel through the eternal flame as the rain kept falling. He made this comment: "I have kept it, the Amaranth symbol", confirming his guilt. When asked if he thought he could have gotten away with it he said: "If it wasn't for that meddling apostle! I should have triumphed!" Mikael was arrested claiming he had been benighted by his own pride, and had lost his grip on all control. The police chief stated that a life of crime was not "the only way to follow, ahh ahh ahh".

Thats my attempt to be funny.

The lyrics says Lagh under the weeping moon... so i cant respect you

 

[[KOTNO]Narrot]

Akerfeldt adamantly denied he had been clutching at his tool while beckoning right behind her. >> lmao!

 

[Kalabalik]

Hehehe.. so has anyone got up with new ideas?

Q: How do Opeth perform a stereo check?
A: Someone just yell 'Martin'

AHAHAHAHEHAHEHAHEHAH!

Hahahahaha!

 

[Alteredmindeath]

everybody gets erections in the morning thats why they called it morningrise

 

[umdebaba]

everybody gets erections in the morning thats why they called it morningrise

 

[Apoc]

umdebaba your signature isn't that funny..

Seen that pic like n+1 times for past three or whatsoever years and it still gets my stomach upside down every fucking time

 

[WrathChld]

Brilliant!!!!!

How do you know when opeth have turned homosexual?

When the release a CD called 'My arms, your arse'

 

[Demonspell]

Q: Why is Opeth like crossing the desert in ancient times?
A: Both are impossible without a Camel.

 

[Ibsen]

everybody gets erections in the morning thats why they called it morningrise

There were a couple guys at my school who formed a band last year and called it "Morningwood." At first it sounds really deep until you realize what it really means.

The bass player and guitaris play in the school jazz band with me. One day the local news came by and was going to film like two measures of us playing (ya it really did suck) and before we were being filmed, the lady from the news asked us what the name of our band (the jazz band) was and the bass player just screamed out "Morning Wood!" and she just started laughing.

 

[Spike]

Actually something near that would be better..

Q: How many metalheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It doesn't matter. They'll just sit around arguing whether the old or new lightbulb is better.

But the old one doesn't work anymore!!!

Spike

 

[Slynt]

Mikael Åkerfeldt, a dog and a duck are walking down the street when the duck says "Let's have a farting contest!"
"No problem", says Mikael and farts.
"No problem", the dog says and farts.
Finally, the duck farts.
"Ah damn, we farted all three of us."

 

[Static]

Wooo, this threads a blast from da past...

 

[6Arch6Enemy6]

I cum more abruptly than the ending of "closure".

Eh, I tried

 

[The Shape]

How do you know when opeth have turned homosexual?

When the release a CD called 'My arms, your arse'

This was actually going to be the name of the album but Centruy Media didn't approve of the slight reference to anal fisting so they made them change it.

 

[Sfarog]

Yes, I am an american, therefore I am a fucking idiot.

I now must go and watch Survivor, the only american activity. After that I will drive my SUV to the supermarket to buy some american breakfast cereal.

God bless George Bush and America, bomb those dirty arab non-christians!

shiiiiit.... bumb the christians too plz..k?thx!

 

[Natural Born Chaos]

Opeth is mediocre at best.

 

[Natural Born Chaos]

or finish this one:

Two Mexicans and two Swedes walk into a bar...

 

[Neurotomania]

Mikael Åkerfeldt, a dog and a duck are walking down the street when the duck says "Let's have a farting contest!"
"No problem", says Mikael and farts.
"No problem", the dog says and farts.
Finally, the duck farts.
"Ah damn, we farted all three of us."

I don't get it...