I'm not wasting 35 euros to see these new songs live and see the basic songs for the 15th time. I'm a fan, but not a stupid fan. I can't listen to songs like ETID without shedding a few tears or getting viciously pumped up by some older aggressive songs or getting shaken by the memories associated with some self-destruction themed songs, but the newest stuff seems forced to me and creates this repulse.
Right now I can't stop listening to this 0:30 - 0:45 cos I'm goosebumped out of nostalgy like a hairy cat, all my youth memories and adventures are flashing before my eyes, listening to the frequencies of different instruments. 2000 and on was a time in my life when nothing made sense and a friend guided me to the place of the dismissed ones who lived their youth looked down upon by so many people, escaping into this realm of dark consolation of alcohol and this dark music, which was never to be touched if one wants to live a successful normal life. From the class front row of nerds I moved to the back row of bullies and the unconcerned. Curious of the dark energy I surrendered to it and followed the downward spiral eventually too far, literally close to death, until finding wisdom around me and making my way back up. With difficulty always comes scars and it takes wisdom to overcome stuff.
If you can grasp my atmosphere you'll understand why it's disappointing to me to see the next step Alexi wants to take is go back to a place of chaos and confusion, when I'd like it to go to the nostalgic emotions and dealing of lingering grudges. It feels like he tried sobering up but didn't discover the reason to save himself, he just found a dry, barren lake bottom, like there was no memories to value in his life. And it could be why he's hurt by the old music is because it induces sincerely dark emotions in him which feel depressing to him, as opposed to feeling "curious" like they do to us. Just a theory. Just like I don't like listening to Inearthed because it makes me feel depressed for some reason.