IT HAPPENED FOLKS
So after 2 1/2 years, my girlfriend and I have mutually, civilly, and definitively agreed to end our relationship.
It was my longest and most fulfilling relationship. My partner was the most attractive, intelligent, and compatible of anyone I've dated thus far. She helped me grow as a human being, and if anyone remembers my severe bout of depression back in 2012, this relationship is what brought me out of it. I was especially blest to be dating someone who had nearly identical tastes in music as I had, and Metal was an integral component of our relationship. Many of our fondest memories involved attending shows together.
I will never regret the time I spent developing our relationship, and after an as yet undefined period of transition, I trust I can count her as a close friend (and she very much wishes the same). It wouldn't be the first time an ex became a bestie.
The majority of our relationship was long-distance. It used to be between Iowa and Maine, but in the past year was only a 4-hour drive between Iowa City and Chicago, making it possible to visit every other weekend or so. For a long time the long-distance was a boon to our relationship, since it made the times we were together more valuable. Plus it was more manageable for someone like me who is often very busy with grad school.
But at some point, the distance became a problem. While I could talk on the phone and message on FB, I simply could not be physically there enough to help her through many of the challenges life presented her when she moved from the country (i.e. northern Maine) to the big city. I was also beginning to have some trust issues as she developed a social life in Chicago that I was pretty much excluded from and was populated by men who valued her as little more than a potential slam-piece. She was always faithful, though, and there's enough evidence to confirm my belief in that.
As time went on our intimacy declined, and our differences became increasingly apparent. She's very smart and witty, but her intelligence is not the same as mine. She never liked talking about languages, history, philosophy, and all the other stuff I love discussing with my friends and colleagues in academe.
She also has various problems with herself that I will not get into, and she felt it best to release me from the burden of being affected by them. It's a lot more than "it's not you, it's me" but it seems that she requires a lot of time to work through her shit before she can consider having any romantic liaisons of any sort. She kept things going with me because she didn't want to hurt me and because I was very tolerant and supportive, but after a series of periodic conversations where she played the "I am not worthy of you" card and me persuading her otherwise, enough is enough.
The timing of all this is quite good, since I'm back in Maine for the rest of the summer and she's staying in Chicago. Also, I'm heading into my fourth, and likely busiest year of grad school, and not having to drive to Chicago so frequently will free me from many inconveniences.
As for moving on, I'm not the type to lose interest in women or pursuing other relationships right after a breakup. The best way to move on is to get with someone else, so I'll be on the lookout for opportunities as they come along. I'll continue to frequent the local bars, and I'm brushing the mothballs off my OKC account. That said, I won't think it a big deal if I go several months without any action.
Long story short, it was a clean break, with absolutely NO chance of another Psychobitch situation erupting. I'll never regret having her in my life.
Perfect song for getting a few drinks in, which is exactly what the fuck I'm doing.
