Males and Females
- Thread starter damnromulans
- Start date
The Ozzman
Melted by feels
The Ozzman
Melted by feels
Baroque
Active Member
Don't do it, it's totally in the woman's advantage not yours.
More bs Child support only takes hers and her 'spouse's' income into account so she can just be with a dude, never get legally married and get full funding. It also doesn't take into account she lives with her mom and is supported by her.
Dak
mentat
No fault divorce. More feminist progress for Equality.
Baroque
Active Member
Also parents should get equal legal rights as married people. I'm taxed as a single person even though I pay child support. And I'm not allowed to claim my son as a dependent. I should be able to claim him as a dependent for the proportion of time and money I give to him. But no, she gets the full tax return for that.
HamburgerBoy
Active Member
- Sep 16, 2007
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I didn't even know about this. That's really blatantly fucked up.
I will masturbate peacefully today knowing my seed will never travel without me.
EspaDa
Damage Case
PhlegethonVeins
Autopsy Obsessed
I had to fight for it (I have a good lawyer, so that helped) during the divorce, but I did get it changed to being able to claim him every other year.
Manic Ferocity
Active Member
- Nov 5, 2006
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So I haven't posted anything about my current girlfriend of just a little over a year, but I'm definitely in need of advice with this one.
She's very personable, likable, and intelligent and just about every one of my friends I've introduced her to like her (Yoda and cook-ta met her and I at Hell's Headbash last year). It's been almost entirely the opposite when we are alone together.
She is still hung up on her fiancé that abruptly left her seven years ago for someone else. She claims that he was a sociopath and that seems to be the case based on what she's told me about him. The way she puts it is that she doesn't long for him to come back, but that he ruined her life with his manipulation during the relationship.
I've been willing to comfort her about this, but I'm now starting to think I underestimated just how much this guy has enveloped his way into her mind. She is constantly upset and anxious and often claims that it's for no particular reason. I didn't think much of this or that it might be based around him in particular until she described to me the other night how she believes she has borderline personality disorder because of him, and that it's causing her to lack any true identity or interests.
I have noticed this. I've noticed that she and I have run out of things to talk about. Her interests are brief and in passing. For example, at one point, she expressed a major interest in researching Odinism as a religion and ended up buying a book on it. This lasted about a week before the book got shelved and I never heard about it again. This sort of thing has happened at least 20 different times.
We first met at a goth night at a bar where she mentioned she liked Dissection and At the Gates. I thought this was cool and as we continued to talk, she expressed interest in having me recommend her more bands. This didn't last long either, which doesn't seem to be rare with someone you're with after a while -- but it's everything with her.
She can have some pretty extreme jealousy issues and subtly demands I block certain girls on Facebook, even if there isn't any actual interaction. I don't care that much about this unless it comes to long time friends who I'm still close friends with. She frequently asks if I'm chatting with someone else when we're away from each other.
Now on to the really tough shit that's been going on. About half a year into our relationship, she started to notice that I might have a drinking problem. It eventually became a thing where we decided that I had to quit for us to work -- but she didn't trust me not to hide it. So, her solution was for me to stay at her apartment and for her to take my keys when she went to bed. I went along with it but I do think this was partially a way for her to control me.
I bought a PS4 upon her encouragement to see if it could distract me from the urge to drink and it worked wonders in that way. Too bad it eventually became a matter of not paying any attention to her. I'm not sure if I was genuinely playing way too many video games or it just seemed like that since we were around each other 24/7. Who knows, but she had recently gotten a job at my work so we were literally constantly around each other.
Her dislike of me playing video games began turning into spite, or so she told me later on. She started making an effort to make more friends at work, and criticize me for being too quiet. This is something that she originally told me she found attractive. We started having problems with a guy she'd often be placed near appearing to aggressively come on to her (though she insisted he was joking at the time). He wasn't by any means a threat but I got frustrated after hanging out with him outside of work with just the three of us and the condescending way he was talking to me.
After that happened, I told my girlfriend that I'd prefer not to go over there anymore which resulted in a fight that caused her to tell me to pack up my shit and go back to my place. I did.
She quickly retracted the desire to break up later on but it was about that time where I was having some serious second thoughts about our relationship. We've chosen to give each other more space since but I've started drinking again to cope with my confusion over my situation with her.
Yesterday morning, she asked me to come over because she was feeling low (which she unfortunately is daily) and I was too tired so I declined. She got offended about it but I thought everything was ok by the time I got to work. When I saw her, she had an angry look on her face. I ignored it and tried to be pleasant towards her. On break, however, she expressed that she thinks that I don't take her emotional distress seriously surrounding her self-diagnosed mental disorder caused by her ex. She then proceeded to ask me if "I had something called Asperger's syndrome" which symptoms apparently include some kind of inability to care about the feelings of other people.
This is the last straw as far as I'm concerned. I found that an extremely insulting and humiliating thing to say and I cannot see any excuse for it whatsoever. Among other things I've mentioned here, I can't be with a woman for the rest of my life who expects me to be a shoulder to cry on because she's incapable of breaking the clearly morbid obsession she has with her ex. That makes me feel secondary and compared, and I would never put an ex on a pedestal like that to anyone I was dating, regardless of the circumstances. She needs to see a therapist and develop a strategy to completely move on. Am I being unreasonable? There's a lot to this relationship that I'm having a hard time explaining here.
She's very personable, likable, and intelligent and just about every one of my friends I've introduced her to like her (Yoda and cook-ta met her and I at Hell's Headbash last year). It's been almost entirely the opposite when we are alone together.
She is still hung up on her fiancé that abruptly left her seven years ago for someone else. She claims that he was a sociopath and that seems to be the case based on what she's told me about him. The way she puts it is that she doesn't long for him to come back, but that he ruined her life with his manipulation during the relationship.
I've been willing to comfort her about this, but I'm now starting to think I underestimated just how much this guy has enveloped his way into her mind. She is constantly upset and anxious and often claims that it's for no particular reason. I didn't think much of this or that it might be based around him in particular until she described to me the other night how she believes she has borderline personality disorder because of him, and that it's causing her to lack any true identity or interests.
I have noticed this. I've noticed that she and I have run out of things to talk about. Her interests are brief and in passing. For example, at one point, she expressed a major interest in researching Odinism as a religion and ended up buying a book on it. This lasted about a week before the book got shelved and I never heard about it again. This sort of thing has happened at least 20 different times.
We first met at a goth night at a bar where she mentioned she liked Dissection and At the Gates. I thought this was cool and as we continued to talk, she expressed interest in having me recommend her more bands. This didn't last long either, which doesn't seem to be rare with someone you're with after a while -- but it's everything with her.
She can have some pretty extreme jealousy issues and subtly demands I block certain girls on Facebook, even if there isn't any actual interaction. I don't care that much about this unless it comes to long time friends who I'm still close friends with. She frequently asks if I'm chatting with someone else when we're away from each other.
Now on to the really tough shit that's been going on. About half a year into our relationship, she started to notice that I might have a drinking problem. It eventually became a thing where we decided that I had to quit for us to work -- but she didn't trust me not to hide it. So, her solution was for me to stay at her apartment and for her to take my keys when she went to bed. I went along with it but I do think this was partially a way for her to control me.
I bought a PS4 upon her encouragement to see if it could distract me from the urge to drink and it worked wonders in that way. Too bad it eventually became a matter of not paying any attention to her. I'm not sure if I was genuinely playing way too many video games or it just seemed like that since we were around each other 24/7. Who knows, but she had recently gotten a job at my work so we were literally constantly around each other.
Her dislike of me playing video games began turning into spite, or so she told me later on. She started making an effort to make more friends at work, and criticize me for being too quiet. This is something that she originally told me she found attractive. We started having problems with a guy she'd often be placed near appearing to aggressively come on to her (though she insisted he was joking at the time). He wasn't by any means a threat but I got frustrated after hanging out with him outside of work with just the three of us and the condescending way he was talking to me.
After that happened, I told my girlfriend that I'd prefer not to go over there anymore which resulted in a fight that caused her to tell me to pack up my shit and go back to my place. I did.
She quickly retracted the desire to break up later on but it was about that time where I was having some serious second thoughts about our relationship. We've chosen to give each other more space since but I've started drinking again to cope with my confusion over my situation with her.
Yesterday morning, she asked me to come over because she was feeling low (which she unfortunately is daily) and I was too tired so I declined. She got offended about it but I thought everything was ok by the time I got to work. When I saw her, she had an angry look on her face. I ignored it and tried to be pleasant towards her. On break, however, she expressed that she thinks that I don't take her emotional distress seriously surrounding her self-diagnosed mental disorder caused by her ex. She then proceeded to ask me if "I had something called Asperger's syndrome" which symptoms apparently include some kind of inability to care about the feelings of other people.
This is the last straw as far as I'm concerned. I found that an extremely insulting and humiliating thing to say and I cannot see any excuse for it whatsoever. Among other things I've mentioned here, I can't be with a woman for the rest of my life who expects me to be a shoulder to cry on because she's incapable of breaking the clearly morbid obsession she has with her ex. That makes me feel secondary and compared, and I would never put an ex on a pedestal like that to anyone I was dating, regardless of the circumstances. She needs to see a therapist and develop a strategy to completely move on. Am I being unreasonable? There's a lot to this relationship that I'm having a hard time explaining here.
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CiG
Harbinger of Metal
You sound like an annoying person to be around constantly just going by what you've said, so she is by no means the only dysfunctional element in your relationship - that said, I would get the fuck out of that relationship so quickly. I tend to have less empathy and patience I guess, but that sounds like hell.
If anything this is just going to make both of you worse for wear, by that I mean her rabbit-hole of self-diagnostics and mental health and you with the alcoholism.
If anything this is just going to make both of you worse for wear, by that I mean her rabbit-hole of self-diagnostics and mental health and you with the alcoholism.
Manic Ferocity
Active Member
- Nov 5, 2006
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Ha, well I can definitely see how I'm undatable. I easily get sick of seeing the same person's face all the time.
Anyways, I did the deed.
Anyways, I did the deed.
CiG
Harbinger of Metal
Manic Ferocity
Active Member
- Nov 5, 2006
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Yeah. I feel worse for her in how confused of a person she is more than anything else. I certainly am as well but fuck.
Did I mention in my first post that her fiancé was only a three month relationship?
Did I mention in my first post that her fiancé was only a three month relationship?
CiG
Harbinger of Metal
Three months?
Well, allow me to congratulate you on getting the fuck out of there.
Well, allow me to congratulate you on getting the fuck out of there.
Manic Ferocity
Active Member
- Nov 5, 2006
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Well, at least I tried to explain to her how ridiculous that was. Failed, obviously.
But seriously, I've never met a girl who was so fixated on an ex like that and I've heard plenty of girls talk up exes. It's annoying enough as it is.
But seriously, I've never met a girl who was so fixated on an ex like that and I've heard plenty of girls talk up exes. It's annoying enough as it is.
Manic Ferocity
Active Member
- Nov 5, 2006
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Also, this happened seven years ago, so she was 19 at the time and he was a year older I think. Sociopathic or not, I think it's at least relatively common for 20-year olds to play the field and make impulsive marriage proposals that they don't mean.
Vilden
From the holy kingdom of Harmonia
Well if her self diagnostics is anywhere near true, from my experiance, dating people with borderline is doomed from the beginning. It doesn't matter how good things seems for awhile, It is garanteed to go to hell in the end.
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Manic Ferocity
Active Member
- Nov 5, 2006
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We dated for a year and for the first half, she seemed so dedicated and understanding about everything. I hardly had any trust issues during that time. Then she started working at my job. We work with a lot of people and she's often oggled at and complimented, as she's exceptionally pretty. I didn't care much at first but it got tiresome and annoying watching guys try. Anyway, there's was one day that I was just in a bad mood and I got overly jealous over a manager going out of his way to compliment her newest tattoo. From then on, she started talking down to me more and criticizing me for being too quiet or not having confident posture. I don't give a shit about these things and it was completely unlike her to say that at the time. But yeah, it just seemed to get worse and worse.
Also, and as I've mentioned before, she was very controlling towards me.
Also, and as I've mentioned before, she was very controlling towards me.
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